


Dark Side of Me

by MelissaMajoria



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Consensual Underage Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Letters, Minor Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Glenn Fraldarius, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Tragedy of Duscur (Fire Emblem), Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:34:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28201677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelissaMajoria/pseuds/MelissaMajoria
Summary: This is the brainchild that was born after a conversation about angsty DadMitri content... You know, the kind where she shows up to the reunion with a 4yo kid...I was debating whether to include the smut (recovering catholic here, haha) but the working title for this was originally Smutty AngstFest so I feel like I have to 🤪... Plus I have a lot of it written already and I think it's pretty good...THAT MEANS teenagers will be having sex. If you don't like that, please leave NOW. I'm not going to argue, especially considering this is a medieval fantasy setting.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that I'll add more tags as we go.
> 
> I have a lot planned for this... Please enjoy child Felix being whiny af for now.

In Imperial year 1162, King Lambert & Queen Ann Blaiddyd met with Lord and Lady Byron of a noble house in Rowe territory to settle a dispute caused by the King's brother. In order to appease the very upset Byron's and avoid a potential scandal, Lambert pulled his wife aside to discuss a possible solution. Although initially averse to the idea, the Queen eventually relented, her hand protectively covering her protruding stomach. It was settled, then. The future prince or princess would be promised to the future child of the Byron's. Lady Byron rubbed her own matching stomach, excited by the prospect of her own child someday becoming royalty. 

The queen had terms. Per her terms, the children would not be allowed to meet until their 16th birthday at the earliest and they could begin a courtship then, ending in the wedding absolutely no earlier than their 18th birthday. Later, she begged Lambert to promise that should their child wish it, they would not be forced to go through with this wedding. She did not want her child to miss out on the prospect of falling in love naturally as she herself had done.

Had the queen been clairvoyant, she would have realized that this was not something she would have to worry about. Then again, had she been clairvoyant, perhaps other tragedies could be avoided as well...

_Garland Moon, 1173 - Byron territory, Rowe, Holy Kingdom of Faerghus_

Katerina Byron knelt in the grass, making flower crowns with her friend Molly.

"I forgot to tell you," Molly said. "I heard that the Gansey's just got back from Fhirdiad. They saw the prince."

Kat looked up at her friend, eyes wide. She had been hungry for information about her future husband for as long as she could remember. She knew so little about him. "Did they say anything?"

Molly gave her a knowing smile. "I asked about him, just for you. They said he was handsome and seemed a little shy."

"That's it?" Kat asked incredulously. "That doesn't tell me anything I didn't already know!" This seemed to be everyone's impression of the boy.

Molly shrugged. "Sorry, Kat."

They looked up as a carriage moved swiftly down the nearby road. "How fancy," Molly commented. "Are you expecting fancy visitors?"

Kat shrugged, turning back to her mostly finished crown. "You know nobody tells me anything."

Molly continued to eye the carriage. "They're turning towards your house. What if it's the prince coming to tell you he's moved up your wedding?"

Kat laughed. "I highly doubt that." But she was curious. She stood, brushing dirt off of her dress. "Come on," she told her friend.

The trio of dark haired males standing in Kat's foyer were unfamiliar to the two girls. They were introduced as the Fraldarius': Rodrigue and his two sons, Glenn and Felix. The adults suggested that the four children go play elsewhere. The older Glenn was reluctant but joined the quartet.

"You're not a cat," Felix said, frowning at Kat. "You're just a girl."

"It's a nickname," Kat explained, leading them outside. "Short for Katerina."

"That's a dumb nickname," Felix said, kicking a rock. "I wanted to see a cat."

Kat sighed and led the boys to the courtyard where the occasional cat hung out.

"You can't talk to her that way," Molly admonished. "Don't you know who she is?"

Felix frowned at her. "No. We only just met, remember?"

"She's Prince Dimitri's betrothed," Molly said with a roll of her eyes. "You know who he is, right?"

Felix froze, his mouth gaping. "O-of course I do! He's my best friend."

Kat spun, looking at him with wide eyes. "Really?!"

"What's a betrothed?" Felix asked Glenn.

Glenn hesitated. "It means they're going to get married and be together forever."

Felix's eyes filled with tears. "B-but I want to be with Dimitri forever," he sniffled.

Molly and Glenn laughed. "It means they're going to kiss and have babies too," Molly explained.

Kat blushed while Felix continued to sniffle. "Hey," she said to Felix, putting her hand on his shoulder. "You can still be best friends."

"Yeah, you still get to be with Dimitri forever, just in a different way," Glenn explained.

"Maybe no kissing?" Kat suggested with a smile.

"I don't want to kiss anybody!" Felix yelled.

Glenn and Molly laughed again.

"But we can both be with him forever, right?" Kat asked.

Felix wiped his face. "I guess."

Glenn picked up a stick and started swinging it around as if it were a sword.

"Will you tell me about him?" Kat asked. "I've never actually met him."

"Really?" Glenn asked, pausing mid-swing.

Kat shook her head.

"It's really romantic," Molly explained. "They aren't allowed to have any contact until they're sixteen."

"That's dumb," Felix said.

"For once, I agree with you," Glenn said, smiling affectionately at his little brother who stuck his tongue out at him.

"What if you meet and you decide you don't like each other?" Felix asked. 

Kat thought she detected a sliver of hope in his voice but ignored it. "That's part of being betrothed, I guess. We don't have a choice."

"Well, it's highly unlikely that you won't like him," Glenn told her. "Dimitri's the nicest guy I've ever met."

"He's the best," Felix added. "He always shares his toys."

Kat drank in these new details, still parched from her earlier conversation with Molly.

"But sometimes he breaks them," Felix added with a pout.

"I'm going to be a knight," Glenn said proudly. "It's going to be my job to protect him. And you, too, I guess."

"I'm going to help!" Felix said, finding his own stick.

Kat found a stick as well. "I want to help too!"

The boys shared a look and then started laughing.

"What?" Kat demanded. "Why is that funny?"

"You sound like our friend Ingrid is all," Glenn explained.

"Do you even know how to use a sword?" Felix asked.

"I know a little," Kat replied.

"It's part of everyone's studies around here," Molly added. She didn't mention that she typically skipped those classes.

"Maybe His Highness will make you and Kat duel to the death to see who gets to be with him forever," Glenn teased Felix.

"I will win!" Felix said confidently, lunging towards Kat with his stick.

Kat parried easily, giving Glenn a worried look. She was nowhere near as confident in her skills.

"I'm only teasing," Glenn reassured her. "Dimitri would never."

"This is boring," Molly complained. "Can't we do something else?"

"We're your guests," Felix said airily. "You have to do whatever we want."

"Is that what you tell the prince before you make him kiss you?" Molly teased.

Felix's face turned red, furious tears pricking at his eyes. "We don't kiss!"

Molly cackled while Kat frowned at her friend. Glenn hid a smile.

"I'm going to tell Dimitri that you're ugly and mean," Felix said to Kat.

Kat gaped at him. "I didn't do anything!"

"He'll have you executed for saying such slanderous things about his betrothed!" Molly countered.

Felix's tears started in earnest now.

"Molly!" Kat admonished. This was her chance to finally learn about Dimitri and her friend was ruining it. "Will you stop?"

"Sorry," Molly said. She turned to Felix. "I was just joking. I'm sorry for upsetting you."

"Don't worry about him," Glenn said. "He'll forget all about it in a minute."

As if on cue, a cat strolled into the courtyard, flopping onto its side in the sun.

"Felix!" Kat exclaimed. "Look, a cat!"

Felix turned to where she pointed, his tears finally stopping. "Can I pet it?" he asked Glenn, who shrugged.

"I've seen this one before. It's pretty friendly," Kat said.

They surrounded the cat, who eyed them apprehensively until Kat and Felix began to stroke its fur. Molly, who was allergic, gave the cat a wide berth.

"I'm sorry my friend was rude to you," Kat told Felix.

He shrugged. "How come you can't meet Dimitri?" he asked.

"It's something our parents decided a long time ago. We aren't supposed to meet until we're sixteen, then we can start courting until we get married when we're eighteen."

"Weird," Glenn commented. "Can you write to each other?"

Kat shook her head. "I asked my parents once." She paused her petting of the cat, thinking. A letter addressed to the prince could not leave her house or arrive in Fhirdiad in the traditional way. But what if...

"If I wrote him a letter, would you give it to him?" she asked Glenn and Felix. Felix shrugged.

"How would he write back?" Glenn asked.

"He could send it to Molly. And we could use fake names!" Kat was getting excited. She ran inside and returned with parchment and a quill, and then froze, staring down at the blank parchment. What would she say?

The others looked at her expectantly. "Well?" Molly asked. "Aren't you going to write?"

"I... I don't know what to say." She stared down at the blank parchment, so full of possibility.

"Tell him you can't wait to kiss him," Molly suggested.

"Tell him about me," Felix suggested.

"You should explain what's going on and how he can contact you," Glenn reminded her.

"Oh no, what if he doesn't want to break the rules?" Molly asked, eyes wide.

Kat took a deep breath and pressed the quill to the parchment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whose advice do you think she takes?
> 
> We'll have a few chapters of cuteness before... well... things happen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first letters.

_Garland Moon, 1173_

Dimitri,

Hello. My name is Katerina Byron. That name should be familiar to you, I hope. I know that we are not to have contact with each other, but I can't help but find myself curious about you. I'll understand if you don't feel the same.

If you do, my friend will help us. You can write to me at her address. I was thinking that we should use fake names, just in case? I read in a book that Mitya is a nickname for Dimitri. Has anyone ever called you that? If you are not opposed, I would like to call you Mitya. As for me, everyone calls me Kat so that is a little too obvious. Perhaps Rina? I will leave it up to you.

Please tell me about yourself. I met your friends Felix and Glenn. They said that you are a good friend, very kind and generous.

I look forward to meeting you someday.

Your fiance,  
Katerina  


_Blue Sea Moon, 1173_

To my fiance:

I was so pleased to receive your letter. I must admit that I have been quite curious about you as well. I don't know anything about you! Felix and Glenn said you remind them of our friend Ingrid, but you look very different.

A friend of mine in Fhirdiad said he will help us correspond as well. I think it is a very good idea to use fake names. You must be quite clever! I do like the name Mitya. I don't recall anyone ever calling me that. I like the idea of having a name that only you call me.

There was a smudge on your letter and I originally misread "Rina" as "Rain." It's silly, but it has stuck with me and I wonder if you would you be opposed to the nickname Rain? Please let me know, I will come up with something else if it is not to your liking.

I find it a little difficult to describe myself. I do enjoy horses and going for rides. My father takes me on rides when he is not busy. Do you like horses? They are such gentle and loving creatures. Felix and Glenn said you wanted to play swords with them. Have you received any weapon training? I learned to use a sword before I could read. My instructors say I show promise with the lance.

You mentioned you read about the name Mitya in a book. Do you like reading? I like it when I'm not required to do so for my studies. My friend Ingrid reads lots of books about knights. I like some of them, but others are kind of boring. ~~Sometimes there's lots of kissing in the books she reads and I~~ *illegible*

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours,  
Mitya  


_Verdant Rain Moon, 1173_

Mitya,

I'm so glad you like the name. I like Rain as well. A few people have shortened my name to Rina, so I, too, like having a name that only you call me.

I'm glad that you agree to corresponding. It probably sounds silly, but I sometimes worried that I would build this ideal of you in my head and then I would be disappointed when I met you finally. Not that you would be disappointing, just not what I had expected. I hope you do not take that the wrong way.

I might as well add that I worried you might be a little snobbish. But I can tell from your letter (as well as my conversations with Glenn and Felix) that you are not. This warms my heart.

Fhirdiad is so far away from my own home, it seems like a mythical land to me sometimes. I am sure that living there, living in a castle even, is much different from my own daily life. I am sure that many people treat you with reverence and I'm glad you have not let that go to your head.

I, too, like horses. I frequently sneak out of my room in the evenings to go see the horses. I don't get to ride very often unfortunately. Perhaps when we finally meet we can go riding together? It seems like such a long time before that happens...

You asked me if I have received much weapon training. I know some basics, but most of my tutors don't see a point in training me. I feel like there is much I can learn but it is kept from me due to our future. "It is unbecoming of a future queen to learn such things," they frequently tell me when I ask questions or request more training. The thought of becoming queen is overwhelming sometimes. Do you ever feel that way about becoming king? I'm not even entirely sure what is expected of me. I guess I just sit on a throne and look pretty for you?

I apologize if I sound bitter. I am not, I assure you. I very much so look forward to our union. My parents would be quite displeased if they heard me talk like this, especially to you, but I hope that you do not feel the same. Mitya, I hope that we can have the type of relationship in which we can share our secrets and our hopes and dreams, as well as our worries.

Back to your questions, I do read a lot, simply because it is one of the things I am allowed to do freely. I have read many tales of knights - which ones are your favorite? I must admit I do enjoy the tales that have some romance in them - but not too much. I read a book about Loog and Kyphon in which they were partners in every sense of the word - this could perhaps be where I have received what little knowledge of romance I have. I hope that we can be like them in many ways.

I hope you write again, Mitya.

Yours,  
Rain  


_Horsebow Moon, 1173_

Rain,

I appreciate your honesty and I agree with you wholeheartedly. I want us to be able to share everything. It seems silly to be in a lifelong relationship in which you share so little. I hope that we can become best friends, too. Please never fear being honest with me.

I am glad that you told me about your reservations about becoming queen. I do frequently worry about becoming king. I hope to be like my father and I believe more and more with each letter that having you by my side will make me a better leader. My father says it's important to keep people around who will be brutally honest with you, who will criticize you when you need it. It sounds like you are that type of person. I hope you don't take that the wrong way, I mean it in the best way possible!

To be honest, I’m not sure what is expected of you either. My birth mother died when I was very young and my stepmother does not seem to have much to do with the running of the Kingdom. My father is busy in his office almost all the time, but my stepmother spends a lot of time sewing. Do you like to sew? It seems boring to me. My crest also makes it difficult. I tried once, but I ended up breaking the string and bending the needles. My stepmother was quite unhappy with me.

I hope that my crest does not frighten you. I do have a habit of breaking things if I'm not careful. It makes handling fragile objects very difficult. My father tries to help me, but he is very busy. I must admit that sometimes I wish I didn't have my crest. I hate the way everyone makes such a big deal out of it. I think I would still be the same person if I didn't have it.

I look forward to your next letter.

Yours,  
Mitya  


__Wyvern Moon, 1173_ _

Mitya,

I think that I held my breath waiting for your response to my last letter. I was so frightened that I might have offended you. My mother frequently tells me that my tongue will get me in trouble, but if we can't be honest with each other then what's the point?

I can't say much about your crest as I have not seen it. But even if it does bother me at first, I'm sure I will learn to accept it. My crest only assists with healing magic, so it's a little boring compared to yours. I've been trying to study more magic since it's something I can do independently.

I started gardening a few months ago, much to my mother's dismay. She thinks I only enjoy tasks that make me dirty just to spite her. I am mostly growing herbs, but I have successfully grown a few flowers as well. I grew a blue flower that made me think of you. I pressed it and am enclosing one for you. I know that boys typically do not care for flowers, but I hope that you will enjoy this one since it came from me.

It probably sounds silly, but for as long as I can remember I've made a flower crown for you each Garland Moon. I hope that someday I can present one to you in person. Until then, I suppose I will only be able to press flowers for you.

I hope to hear from you again soon.

Yours,  
Rain  


_Red Wolf Moon, 1173_

Rain,

I really enjoyed receiving your flower. I hung it on the wall in my bedroom just above my desk. It's nice to have something here to make me think of you, and it's subtle enough to keep our secret. Receiving your letters is joy enough, but a handmade gift like this is absolutely wonderful.

I wanted to get you something in return, but I'm not sure what. My clumsy hands and crest make it difficult for me to create something for you like this. One of the knights who trains me enjoys woodcarving. He tried to teach me but much like my attempts at sewing it unfortunately did not go well.

Perhaps next time I'm in the marketplace something will catch my eye. My father frequently gives my stepmother perfumes and dresses. Such things would be difficult for me to send in the mail, and I'm not sure what you would prefer? Or even if you would enjoy such things... This may be more difficult than I originally thought.

Please let me know if there is something you would like.

Yours,  
Mitya  


_Ethereal Moon, 1173_

Mitya,

Please do not trouble yourself with gifting me things. There really isn't anything that I need or even desire, besides these letters. They bring such joy to me. I keep each and every one of them, hidden away in a locked box.

I worry that we will get caught if we try to send each other anything too much more elaborate. There will be plenty of time in the future for us to exchange other gifts.

I am so glad that you enjoyed my pressed flower, perhaps I can send you more. Unfortunately we recently had a storm come through and many of my plants did not survive. I suppose this is a part of horticulture that is impossible to avoid as the weather is unpredictable. Yet, it is extremely frustrating.

I think my mother hoped that this would discourage me from continuing with this hobby, but instead I feel even more determined to try again. I find I enjoy the peace and quiet of working with plants extremely enjoyable. I hope someday soon I’ll be able to show you what I’ve grown in person.

I eagerly await your next letter.

Yours,  
Rain  


_Guardian Moon, 1173_

Rain,

I know you requested that I not send you any gifts, but I was at the marketplace and found the enclosed horse shaped hair clip. It immediately made me think of you! I hope it is of a style that suits you, a friend of mine called it crude looking, but I do not agree. If you do not like it, please do not feel obligated to keep it.

I just realized that I have no idea what you look like. Is your hair of a suitable length for such a clip? I believe I recall Glenn and Felix telling me that it is of a light brown color.

I myself have what I have heard called “strong Blaiddyd genes.” This seems to mean the blonde hair and blue eyes that I share with my father. I am currently keeping my hair a little longer than typical, though I have considered cutting it. A noblewoman who recently visited made a rather rude comment to me regarding it. As far as the rest, well, I’m not sure what to say, it’s not really something I think about. I personally think my eyes are too large for the rest of my face, but my father says I will grow into them.

It is strange to me that our fates are so entwined and yet if I saw you in a crowd, I fear I would not recognize you. I am not sure why we are not able to meet until we are sixteen, it seems so silly to me. Perhaps we can find a way to meet sooner. If you are not opposed, I may speak with my father on the matter.

I am also enclosing some seeds I thought you might enjoy. I am honestly not sure what they are, I found them in the greenhouse. I thought it might bring you a little closer to Fhirdiad? Or at least bring Fhirdiad closer to you. I hope it helps with your frustration after the storm.

Yours,  
Mitya  


_Pegasus Moon, 1173_

Mitya,

I absolutely love the hair clip and the seeds! I typically prefer to wear my hair loose, much to my mother’s chagrin. She believes that a proper noblewoman should keep their hair tightly coiled, but it always gives me a headache to wear my hair like that. This hair clip gives us a chance to compromise - I can use it to keep my hair pulled back in a suitable manner.

I told my mother that my friend gave it to me, which is not entirely untrue, as I do consider you my friend. I wear it proudly every day and wish I could tell anyone who asks that it was a gift from you. Alas, someday perhaps.

I already planted the seeds you sent and am eagerly awaiting what grows. I wonder what they could be? It was so very thoughtful of you to send them to me and I deeply appreciate it. They definitely help with my frustrations following the storm.

Your memory is correct, my hair is a light brown color. It is currently down to the middle of my back, though I hope to get it trimmed a little shorter soon. Such long hair tends to get in the way, though this clip does help. My hair color comes from my mother and my eye color (green) comes from my father. I think that I am rather plain looking, but it is so hard to judge for yourself.

Everyone that I speak with who has met you has said that you are very handsome. I look forward to confirming this fact for myself. It is nice not having to ask about you so often, now that I have access to you for myself. I, too, hope that we can meet sooner than originally planned. Any time I have mentioned it to my own parents they are quite opposed. Perhaps your father will feel differently. Until then, I will wait patiently.

Yours,  
Rain  


_Dimitri and Katerina continued to exchange letters over the course of the next two years. Many of these letters were quite mundane in nature, but they both deeply cherished each letter they received from the other._

_One day, Dimitri received the following brief letter:_

_Horsebow Moon, 1175_

Mitya,

Emergency! I hope this letter reaches you in time. My parents have found out that we have been writing to each other. They are quite unhappy. I hope your father and stepmother are not too upset with you. I am so very sorry, I thought we were being careful but I must have slipped up somewhere.

I hope this is not the last letter you receive from me.

Yours,  
Rain  


_Fearing the worst, Katerina was surprised when an invitation arrived with Dimitri's next letter, addressed directly to her._

_Wyvern Moon, 1175_

Rain,

I just finished speaking with my father and knew I had to write you as soon as possible! I am so excited that we have this chance to meet sooner than expected! I don't usually enjoy having such elaborate birthday parties, but I am looking forward to this one. I do hope that you are able to attend, it would make this my best birthday ever.

Father told me a story I wanted to share with you. Did you know that we have met before? Shortly after you were born, your parents brought you here to Castle Fhirdiad to be blessed by the king. He said that when they showed you to me, we reached for each other.

Father said that he worried sometimes about arranging our union this way, but that day helped reassure him. I reassured him that I have no qualms either, that exchanging these letters have helped to quell any doubts I may have previously held. I hope that you feel the same way.

Yours,  
Mitya  


_Red Wolf Moon, 1175_

Mitya,

I am so overjoyed and relieved. I had expected the worst, had feared that our future meeting would be delayed even longer, or possibly even worse. And now it has been moved up three whole years? And you share with me such beautiful reassurances? Oh, Mitya, of course I feel the same way! Our correspondence has brought me such joy, has brought me closer to you in ways I did not previously think possible.

My mother has already sent for the finest dressmakers and hairstylists she can find. I have seen fabric in more shades of blue than I even knew existed! I must admit that I worry I will be lost under such opulence. Seeing me as you will at your birthday, dressed and styled so elaborately, would you even recognize me as I sit now, my hair a mess, my clothes covered in grass stains, and dirt under my fingernails? Would you even want such a girl as your betrothed? My mother thinks not, but I hope you will disagree with her on that... as well as most points.

I suppose this will be the last letter you receive from me before we finally meet. Just writing that phrase makes me smile! I'm so nervous and excited I'm not sure I'll even be able to sleep in the next weeks.

I look forward to seeing you!

Yours,  
Rain  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Dimitri's picture wasn't on the actual invitation.)
> 
> In my head, I read the brief narration in the narrator's voice from Hades.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy 13th birthday, Dimitri!

_19th of the Ethereal Moon, 1175_

Kat sighed, looking around the ballroom. Her family had been late, the party already in full swing by the time they arrived. The king and queen had greeted them, but Dimitri was nowhere to be found. She couldn’t blame him, she wouldn’t want to wait either. 

She made her way to a landing on the stairs, looking down at the people milling about and dancing. Could he be one of them? Had he grown so tired of waiting for her that he was dancing with a different girl? It was probably a requirement that the prince dance with everyone. She couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.

Kat remembered a line from one of Dimitri’s letters that rang true right now: _It is strange to me that our fates are so entwined and yet if I saw you in a crowd, I fear I would not recognize you._

She sighed again, leaning against the bannister. Perhaps she should return to her parents, or the king and queen. They would be able to point Dimitri out to her.

Kat turned to leave, only to find a boy staring intently at her. She frowned at his brazen attention. 

"Please forgive me!" he said suddenly. Her eyes widened, surprised at his outburst. "It's just... you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen,” he admitted, unable to hold his tongue.

She blushed, eyes widening even further and mouth parting into a tiny "o." She was not often praised for her looks, though rather that was because there was nothing to praise or because almost everyone she encountered knew she was the prince’s betrothed, she did not know. Regardless, it was nice to hear. Although, under this much makeup and hairstyling, perhaps the most homely of girls would appear attractive.

She wasn’t entirely sure how to react. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. "I... I appreciate your compliment, but I am meeting my fiance soon and I am not sure if he would appreciate it."

"Of-of course. My apologies. I, too, am looking for my fiance." He sighed, then looked at her curiously. "May I ask your fiance's name? Perhaps I can help you find him."

Kat hesitated, wondering if he would believe her if she told him the truth. "His name is Mitya," she finally said. It wasn’t a lie, but she doubted anyone would know the prince by that name.

He turned to stare at her in wonder again, mouth agape in surprise. "Rain?" he asked.

Her eyebrows creased in confusion. "How do you... oh." Realization dawned on her. "Oh," she said again, her lips turning up at the corners. How had he been described to her before? Exactly like this boy: Blonde hair, blue eyes… handsome. She was a complete and utter fool. "You're Prince Dimitri."

He nodded, a wide smile brightening his features. "You're Katarina," he confirmed. “I’ve been looking for you.”

She smiled back. "I'm relieved," she admitted.

"Oh?"

She could feel her face heating up. "Well… you're very good looking," she said.

"Oh-oh. Thank you," he said, looking at the ground between them. His blonde hair fell to hide his reddening face and she mentally kicked herself again and again for not recognizing him. 

"Did you truly not know it was me?" she asked. Surely someone had pointed her out to him, why else would he have said such things? 

"No, not at all," he admitted, looking back up at her.

"So you really meant what you said…" she said shyly.

"Y-yes. Very much so. I, too, am relieved. It would have been most embarrassing to be caught saying such things to another."

"I should be angry with you."

"Oh, no, please do not be!" he begged. "I will find a way to make it up to you."

She chuckled. "I am simply teasing. It all worked out in the end, did it not?"

The relief on his face was evident. "Indeed. Would you like to dance with me?" he suggested.

She nodded. "I would like that." He held out his arm and she took it, letting him lead her down the stairs and to the dance floor. 

He was an adept dancer, though this did not surprise her in the least. She was not the best, but could follow along if her partner led well, which Dimitri did. One of her instructors had insisted that dancing would be a much more practical skill for a future queen to have rather than the history she was supposed to be learning. 

She had never had a chance to use the skill before - there weren’t many balls in her territory and she rarely attended when they did happen. Only once had her friend Molly managed to drag her to one. Even then, Kat had simply stood to the side, bored out of her mind while her friend danced with every boy in the territory.

“Do you know all of these people?" Kat asked as they danced, looking around at the nearly full ballroom. People were starting to stare and whisper and she was not used to this type of attention. She was terrified she would trip and make a fool of herself. Then everyone would know the prince’s betrothed was an idiot. The pressure began to weigh down on her.

"Oh, no. The townsfolk like to come out for events like this."

She lowered her voice. "Do they always stare at you like this?"

He looked around, seeming to only just notice the attention. His face reddened. "Oh, no. It's probably that... well... I've never danced with anyone at one of these before."

"Never?"

He shook his head. "I was saving it for you."

Kat smiled, relaxing a little. "I'm honored."

"So we all know who you are, now," a different male voice came. A red haired boy danced with a beautiful dark haired girl next to them. "Everyone has been very curious about you," he continued, "the girl who already stole the prince's heart."

"Sylvain..." Dimitri said with a blush. "Kat, this is my friend Sylvain Gautier. And... um..."

"Hey there," Sylvain said with a wink. "Nice catch, Dimitri."

Kat blushed, but was grateful for the distraction. “Hello.”

The dark haired girl stomped on Sylvain's foot. "Ow! This is... um..."

"Angela!" she hissed, glaring at him.

"Right! This is Angela."

"It is nice to meet you, Angela," Dimitri said politely, Kat echoing. "Sylvain, have you seen the others?" he added.

"I saw them by the food tables a while ago," he answered. 

"Will you find them and meet me in the upstairs sitting room after a while?"

"Sure thing." Sylvain led a protesting Angela away.

The current song they were dancing to ended and Dimitri took Kat’s hand and led her down a long corridor full of windows where more people were milling about. 

“I was hoping to show you our gardens, but unfortunately it’s a bit too cold and dark,” he explained. He led her to an empty space near one of the windows and gestured out. 

Kat peered out the dark window, straining to see. “It looks huge,” she commented. “Is that a hedge maze?”

Dimitri nodded. “There’s a tree house hidden in the middle of it.”

“I think I can see it.”

“Would you like to spend some time with my friends? Or we can go back and dance some more. Whatever you would prefer.”

Kat was relieved at the alternate option. The attention back in the ballroom had been intimidating. “Yes, let’s go see your friends.”

  


Kat recognized Glenn, Felix, and Sylvain in the sitting room Dimitri let her to. Another girl sat on one of the couches next to Glenn, a pretty blonde. Kat correctly assumed she was the Ingrid she had heard so much about. An older woman sat in a chair in the corner, snoring. 

“That’s my chaperone,” Ingrid explained, gesturing for Kat to sit next to her after introductions had been made. “I love your hair clip,” she added.

Kat’s hand flew to her hair, carefully touching the clip. “Thank you!” she said with a big smile. “Mi-Dimitri got it for me!”

Dimitri squeezed onto the couch next to her. “I didn’t even realize you were wearing it! I’m glad.”

“So you and Dimitri had to secretly exchanging letters?” Ingrid asked.

Kat nodded. “We weren’t originally supposed to meet for another three years.”

“That’s crazy. I can’t imagine it…” She glanced back at Glenn, who took her hand in his. “Glenn and I got engaged earlier this year. Of course, we’ve been friends for as long as I can remember so I think it was impossible to keep us apart.” 

Ingrid could barely contain her expression of pure joy, and Kat couldn’t help but smile along with her. “Congratulations,” she said earnestly.

“I guess me and you will have to get engaged next, Fe,” Sylvain said from across the room where he and Felix were playing a board game.

Felix rolled his eyes.

Unable to help herself, Kat teased, “I’m guessing we don’t have to compete over Dimitri anymore, Felix?”

Felix glared at her while Glenn laughed. 

  


_20th of the Ethereal Moon, 1175_

  


Glenn volunteered to chaperone the pair on a horse ride early the next morning. He led them across a field and up the nearby mountain in the near dark. 

The group ascended as far as they could, finding a relatively flat, wooded area with an impressive view. They tied their horses to nearby trees and Glenn wandered off, giving Dimitri and Kat some privacy. 

“Wow,” Kat said. “This view is magnificent.”

“It is. We come up here sometimes to train,” Dimitri explained.

“To train?”

“Mmmhmm. One morning before dawn, one of my instructors set me and another loose up here and told us to catch a deer.” 

Kat stared at him. “That sounds terrifying!”

“It was pretty scary,” he admitted. 

“You didn’t mention that in any of your letters.”

“I didn’t want to worry you… But I couldn’t help but think that this would be a great place to take you once you finally got to visit.” He gestured towards the view, where the sun was beginning to peek over more mountains in the far distance.

“I’m glad you thought of me,” she said with a smile. 

They turned to watch the sunrise over a vast expanse of Faerghus. Kat scooted a little closer to Dimitri so their arms were touching. When he made no move, she shifted her hand to brush her fingers against his gloved palm. She saw him smile out of the corner of her eye before he twined their fingers together. 

"Today is your actual birthday, right?" she asked.

He nodded. "And yours was yesterday?"

She nodded. "I apologize for not getting you a gift," she said.

He turned towards her. "Oh, no, please do not apologize. Getting to spend time with you is the greatest gift of all."

She smiled. "I'm glad I got to come."

"Me too. I can't imagine not seeing you for another three years."

"I hope I am not too disappointing," she teased.

"Not at all! I... I still mean what I said yesterday. Even now, without all the opulence..."

She looked at him curiously. "You said a lot of things yesterday, I'm not sure which you are referring to?"

"You're still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, Rain," he said with a blush.

A pleased smile crossed her own blushing face. "Thank you, Mitya."

They stood there gazing at each other for a moment longer before Kat inched forward just a little. "Mitya?"

"Yes?"

"Happy birthday," she said. She leaned forward to gently press her lips against his cheek but he turned his face in surprise and she caught the edge of his lips instead. His eyes widened at the simple action and they both froze.

They pulled back, Kat giggling while Dimitri apologized fiercely, stumbling over his words.

"Mitya," she finally said, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders, "it's alright, really."

He hung his head. "I'm sorry, Rain," he said for perhaps the hundredth time in the last few minutes.

"Mitya," she said again inching a little closer. 

He finally lifted his head, his breath sucking in when he realized just how close she was. 

"Shall we try again?"

He nodded and she leaned forward again, hesitating a moment. "Maybe..." she breathed, close enough now that he could feel her warm breath on his lips. 

"Rain..." he whispered and then leaned forward to meet her halfway, their lips touching in the briefest, softest kiss. 

They stepped back, smiling shyly at each other. 

Something cold and damp touched Kat’s nose and she blinked several times, startled. Snow fell around them, sticking to their hair and clothes while Kat watched in wonder. 

“Oh!” Dimitri said, staring at her reaction. “I guess you don’t get much snow where you’re from?”

Kat shook her head. “I’ve never actually seen it, only read about it. Does it happen often up here?”

Dimitri nodded. “Sometimes it starts as early as the Verdant Rain Moon.” 

Glenn reappeared from wherever he had wandered off to. “We should probably head back before it starts to get slick.”

Back at the castle, they enjoyed a quick breakfast with their families while the snow began to fall in earnest, blanketing the entire city. Kat couldn’t help but watch out the window in awe. 

Unfortunately, due to the weather, her father wanted to leave as soon as possible, cutting their visit short. 

“I’ll write as soon as I get home!” Kat promised as they said their goodbyes. 

  


_And thus several more letters were exchanged before their next meeting._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more happy chapter after this before... well... you know.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more before some :( times...

_Blue Sea Moon, 1176_

Kat hardly recognized her home. Everything had been deep cleaned, outdated furnishings replaced, fresh flowers in all of the vases. Even the dress she was wearing was brand new. Luckily there hadn't been time for a complicated updo, so her hair fell down her back the way she preferred it, held out of her face by her beloved horse hair clip and blowing in the breeze as she and her parents watched the royal carriage approach.

It was Kat’s first time seeing Dimitri since his birthday and she felt a little nervous. There had been letters, of course, as there always had been. But actually seeing him, touching him (albeit chastely), was _so_ much different. There was a comfortable companionship in those letters that wasn't quite present in person just yet, simply due to the fact that they had been able to spend such little time together. She wondered if they would manage to achieve that level of comfort before their wedding. 

Kat couldn't help but think of the brief kiss they had shared in the mountains and wondered about the likelihood of it happening again. The chances were not high, unless she could convince him to sneak out after their parents had gone to bed. But to do that, she would need to get him alone long enough to ask. Perhaps a note? She sighed, realizing she should have prepared better. 

"Smile, Katerina," her mother reminded her.

House Byron was the final stop on the King's tour around the country. Then they would have a short reprieve back at home in Fhirdiad before heading to Duscur for some sort of discussions or negotiations or something - Kat wasn’t sure on the details. She received a letter twice a week sometimes as Dimitri tried to write to her at every stop they made. Some were quite short as the visit was uneventful and a few even included small gifts. 

Kat fidgeted with one of those gifts now; a small, green, handmade bracelet. Dimitri wrote that it caught his eye while he walked past the merchant stall, the shade of green matching her eyes almost exactly. Such sentiments were rare from the young prince, but Molly advised once they were older it would be much the opposite. 

"I guess it's different since you're already engaged," her friend had told her. "But when boys are actively pursuing you..." She smiled a little haughtily and Kat could barely suppress her eye roll. Molly had recently become _very_ interested in boys, and being the most attractive of the eligible bachelorettes in the region, many had returned her interest. 

Kat was glad she had Dimitri already, that she did not have to go through this elaborate courting procedure. She had told Dimitri about this in her last letter, which was likely waiting in Fhirdiad for him. She wished she had saved it to present to him in person upon his departure. 

Kat had also mentioned some of her own insecurities as she wondered if Dimitri felt the same way. The pursuit seemed fun and exciting for others - would he feel that way? Did he feel he was missing out on the chase? She had never given a second thought to wanting anyone else, had never been upset that their parents had set this up before they were even born. 

Molly had commented that it was unfair. What if she fell in love with someone else? Kat simply shook her head. She was sure that her Mitya was all she would ever want. The only part that was unfair was the lack of time they were able to spend together.

Kat had hoped that after spending Dimitri’s birthday in Fhirdiad there would be more visits. Yet, it had been nearly seven months and this was the first time they were seeing each other again. Even this was only to be a brief overnight visit that had almost been canceled. The king wanted plenty of time back in Fhirdiad to prepare for their visit to Duscur, but they had been repeatedly delayed on their tour.

Kat’s attention was brought back as the door to the carriage opened and King Lambert stepped out, a brilliant smile on his face. Dimitri followed closely, seemingly hiding behind his father and looking around shyly. His eyes finally meet Kat's and his face broke out into an equally brilliant smile. 

Kat felt her own smile growing in response. She hadn't realized just how much she missed him until that moment. She wanted to run to him, to throw her arms around him and embrace him, but that was not appropriate behavior. She felt a pang of sadness when she realized that she would likely never be able to greet him publicly like that. And if her mother had her way, _any_ type of embrace - no matter how innocent it was - would not be happening until after they were married.

Lambert and Dimitri greeted Kat's parents before making their way to her. Lambert shook hands with her father, kissed her mother's cheek. Dimitri bowed deeply before each of them, shaking hands with her father.

"Lady Katerina!" Lambert boomed, taking her hand in his and giving the back of it a brief kiss. "And how is my future daughter-in-law? Still as lovely as ever. It looks like you've grown a few inches as well!"

Kat blushed, bowing deeply to the king. "Thank you, Your Majesty," she replied. "I believe I have." She definitely felt taller, which was difficult to do standing in front of the very tall king. She wondered if Dimitri would get that tall? It seemed hard to believe, but she noticed he was a little taller as well when he stood in front of her.

"Lady Katerina," he said shyly, taking her hand. She had purposefully worn the bracelet on that hand so he would see it. He noticed it as he brought her hand to his mouth, the kiss he left shaky and much longer than his fathers. He smiled even wider upon seeing the bracelet, a feat she would have not thought possible.

"Your Highness," she replied with a curtsy when she had her hand back.

Her mother nodded approvingly and then they headed inside, settling in a sitting area just outside the dining room while they waited for lunch to be served. Kat and Dimitri sat next to each other on one of the couches, Kat having to reposition three times until her mother finally nodded at her. A respectable distance from your fiance was entirely too far for Kat. She was determined to be on her best behavior, however, as that could mean future visitations for her and Dimitri. She wondered if the King watched them as closely as her mother did.

Kat found it impossible to dislike King Lambert. He was so incredibly tall and looked intimidating at first glance, but his warm smile and kind eyes were endearing. His infectious laugh boomed through the house, making glasses that were set too close together vibrate and clink. His eyes matched his son's almost exactly, as did his shade of hair. Kat couldn't help but wonder how similar the two would look when Dimitri grew older. She hoped Dimitri didn't look at her mother and wonder the same thing.

Dimitri and Kat sat politely until the adults were fully engrossed in their conversation and the pair found the end of their much shorter attention spans. They each scooted a little closer to the other in order to hear each other's hushed tones. 

Dimitri tapped her wrist lightly. "Do you really like it?" he asked apprehensively.

Kat smiled, setting her hand on the couch between them and showing off her wrist. "Yes, Mitya. I love it," she answered honestly. "I love everything you've sent me. It's been exciting to receive so many letters."

"I brought more," he admitted, covering her hand with his. "It seemed silly to mail them since I would be seeing you so soon."

Her eyes brightened at the prospect of even more letters from him. "Are you enjoying your trip?" He had said so in his letters, but she knew he wouldn't want to say anything negative just in case they were being read.

Dimitri nodded. "I think I'm ready to go home, though," he admitted. "I miss it."

Kat nodded, wondering what such a trip must be like.

"Please don't misunderstand, I am happy to be here, with you finally," he added quickly, noticing her expression.

"Oh, of course. I was just thinking about what it would be like to take a trip like that... or really any trip."

"Had you never left your territory before last year?"

She shook her head. "I never even thought I would get that. I always figured I would just stay here until it was time to go live in Fhirdiad..." she felt her cheeks warm a little.

Realizing her implications, his face heated as well. "Maybe next time you can come with us," he suggested. "Or we can go together, after we're married. Or even both!"

Kat smiled at him. "I'd like that." 

She glanced to where King Lambert was sitting, the queen’s absence weighing on her. “Dimitri… Where’s your stepmother?” she asked quietly, hoping her mother wouldn’t overhear the indelicate question. 

Queen Patricia had seemed distant and a bit impersonal when Kat had met her at Dimitri’s birthday party. Kat wanted to speak with the other woman, but their visit to Fhirdiad had been so short that she hadn’t had the time. She had considered writing her, but felt speaking in person was the better option. She had hoped to take advantage of the time they would have together now, but alas…

“Oh, she didn’t come with us.”

Kat stared at him. “At all?”

Dimitri shook his head. “She wanted to stay home in Fhirdiad.”

Kat couldn’t understand the other woman’s motivations. “I can’t imagine choosing to be away from your spouse for that long.”

“Perhaps we think differently since we have to deal with this now. Perhaps things will be different once we’re married.”

She supposed he was right, but didn’t want to believe it. “Hmm, yes. Perhaps you are right. Perhaps I will quickly tire of your company.”

“Rain…” The look on his face was one of absolute misery. 

“Oh, Mitya… please don’t make that expression ever again. I’m only teasing you.”

He squeezed her hand. “It means a lot that you feel comfortable enough with me to do so… I hope you always do.”

She gave him a curious look, but simply smiled and nodded. 

  


Kat snuck away just before lunch was served, quickly tearing off a piece of a parchment and scribbling a note onto it.

_M-_  
_There's something I want to show you. Will you sneak away after nightfall with me?_  
_If so, meet me in the foyer around 10._  
_-R_  


She caught back up as everyone was heading into the dining room, Dimitri a few paces behind. She slipped her hand into his for just a moment, hoping he would feel the parchment through his glove. He gave her a curious look, their hands back at their sides when her mother turned to glance at them. Kat gave her mother an innocent smile.

Once the adults were engrossed in their conversation again, Dimitri glanced down at his lap to read her note. He looked up at her from across the table and nodded.

Kat smiled.

  


Kat should have realized there was going to be extra security with the King's visit. She couldn't get to the foyer without passing several guards who were going to ask questions. She sighed. Dimitri would have to pass by her room to get there, however, so instead she hovered outside of her own room, hoping no guards would wander by. She got lucky, and only Dimitri did.

"Mitya!" she whispered, stepping from the shadows.

"Rain!" he whispered back. "There are so many guards."

"I know. They're blocking the foyer. Come this way," she said, opening the door to her room and leading him in.

He looked around curiously. "Where are we?"

"This is my room." She almost giggled when she imagined her mother's horrified face if she found out Dimitri had been _inside her bedroom_.

Dimitri's own eyes were wide as he froze for a moment.

"Come on," she insisted. She led him to her balcony, stepping out and looking around cautiously. Luckily this part of the house did not appear to be closely monitored. "I sneak out all the time," she reminded him. 

She showed him the part of the wall with the hidden overgrown trellis. Up and over the side of the balcony they went, and then slowly down the wall.

"Where are we going?" Dimitri whispered as they ran across the lawn. 

They snuck around buildings and narrowly avoided more guards, finally arriving in the small garden on the edge of the fields.

"Wow," Dimitri said in awe, looking around. "Did you grow all of this?"

Kat chuckled. "No, just these over here," she explained, leading him to her corner. "These are from the seeds you sent me," she added, pointing to an odd grouping of plants.

"Oh! I recognize these." He pointed to a blue flower. "These grow outside my window."

Kat smiled. "I used these to make you a garland this year."

"I wish I could have seen it."

She bit her lip. "I could make you another, if you wanted?"

Dimitri blushed. "That's alright. Maybe next year our visits will line up?"

"I hope so," she said with a smile. "I hope we get to have more visits."

"I think we will." He turned to look at the other plants. "This one smells nice," he said, cupping a large pink flower in his gloved hand.

"Be careful," Kat warned. "That one has th-" she cut off at Dimitri's gasp. "-orns," she finished with a frown.

He backed away quickly, looking down at his hand.

"Are you alright?"

He nodded quickly. "It's fine."

"Here, let me see," Kat said, reaching for his hand. She cradled his hand in her own, looking down at the wound. The thorn had cut through his glove and blood was welling from his finger. She inhaled through her teeth. "A big one must have gotten you. They scratch me sometimes.” 

Kat shot the plant a glare before looking back down at his hand. She had been considering tearing the plant out and replacing it with something else… perhaps several kinds of herbs? The plant had grown larger than she had expected and it was really just taking up too much of her precious little space, frequently scratching her when she got too close. And now it had injured her fiance. It was definitely getting replaced now. 

"It's really alright," Dimitri reassured her.

There was a noise, and then Kat hovered her other hand over his, the healing magic stitching the wound back together. Dimitri gasped, looking at her with wide eyes. 

"I'm not very good yet," Kat admitted, letting go of his hand. "Healing magic is hard to practice when no one is ever hurt."

Dimitri flexed his fingers, smiling at her. "It's perfect."

She smiled back shyly. 

"Thank you, Rain," he said, taking a step closer to her. She held her breath as he leaned forward and softly kissed her cheek. 

Kat couldn't stop the wide smile that spread across her face. She blushed fiercely, turning back towards the plants. "I actually wanted to show you this one," she told him, gesturing towards a trellis covered with a sheet. 

Standing next to her now, he reached to hold her hand. "Why is it covered?"

"To keep them protected from the sun. These are moonflowers."

She carefully removed the sheet, and upon being touched by the moonlight, buds along the vine began to open one by one, revealing white flowers. Kat watched Dimitri's face out of the corner of her eye as he looked upon the spectacle in awe. She wondered if that was the expression her own face had held, seeing the snow in Fhirdiad so many months ago. 

“I thought all flowers liked the sun,” he mused. 

“Nope. Some prefer the shade. Not too many prefer the moon, however.”

“Look,” Dimitri said, pointing at a flower at the top of the trellis. 

Kat followed his finger with her eyes, seeing what he had noticed. A single pale blue flower drunk in the moonlight. “I come out here almost every night and I’ve never seen a blue flower,” she said thoughtfully. “Perhaps it bloomed just for your visit?”

Dimitri smiled. “Perhaps it’s a sign? A blessing for our union.”

“I hope so… But if that’s the case, then we have to seal the blessing to confirm it.”

“Seal it?” he asked curiously. 

“Perhaps with a kiss?” Kat suggested shyly.

Dimitri blushed, but nodded. “Yes, I think you’re right.” 

They turned towards each other, Dimitri squaring his shoulders and taking her other hand in his as well. They both smiled shyly at each other before leaning in, their lips touching in another brief, soft kiss. 

“Sealed,” he confirmed.

Kat plucked the blue flower from the trellis, holding it carefully as they snuck back up to her room. She showed him how she pressed flowers, promising to send it to him once it was ready in a few weeks - his very own azure souvenir. She kissed his cheek before he snuck back to his own room, their visit all but concluded. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI updated the rating/tags/summary/etc to reveal my true motivations for this fic...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus letter mentioned in the previous chapter

Written: _Blue Sea Moon, 1176_  
Received: _Verdant Rain Moon, 1176_

Mitya,  


I’m so excited that I haven’t been able to sleep. You’re going to be visiting me so soon! My parents have been frantic, preparing the house for the “royal visit” as they keep calling it. My mother almost forgot to get me a new dress, though I’m not sure why it matters? You’ve never seen the majority of my old dresses. 

Isn’t it strange how letters can transcend time? By the time you read this, the future I’m so excited about in this letter will be your past! Perhaps some day in the distant future you or I or even our children will be re-reading our letters, traveling back to our past. 

I’ve enjoyed receiving the letters from your trip. There’s a large map on the wall in my father’s study and I’ve marked each of the places you’ve mentioned in your letters. I feel like I’m following along with you in that way. Maybe someday you can take me to visit all of these places as well?

I’m so glad that your father agreed to make a stop here - I think it means a lot to my own father. I know that my father cares deeply for our territory. I still don’t know the details of our betrothal, but I hope that our union will assist with unifying the kingdom further. I think I’ve mentioned this before - Fhirdiad almost feels like a foreign land with how far spread out we are. I wonder if the northern territories feel the same? Probably not Fraldarius. 

Ugh, I am procrastinating by boring you with awkward talks of politics - something you are likely sick of by now. The truth is, I wanted to ask you something. I’ll probably be too shy to ask you during your visit, if we even have the opportunity to speak openly. 

I wonder if you ever think our arrangement is unfair? Do you wish you had the option to pursue other girls? My friend Molly was telling me about the elaborate courtship rituals she has recently become involved in and it seems like the “chase” is part of the fun. I wonder if since you’ve already won my heart you feel as if you are missing out? 

It all sounds exhausting to me, but I would like your honesty. I often wonder what my life would be like without you and rarely like what I see. Perhaps it is different for you, being the prince? 

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll tell you when I see you, but thank you for all of your gifts and letters. I hope that our visit goes well and that I get to see you again soon. Waiting so long between visits is quite difficult. 

Yours,  
Rain

P.S.: Enjoy your trip to Duscur! Please tell me all about it in your next letter. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duscur time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Today the role of Rufus Blaiddyd will be played by Rufus Albarea._

_Wyvern Moon, 1176_

Kat sat in the carriage biting her nails. On any other day, her mother would be slapping her hand away from her mouth and reminding her to sit up straight and smile. But this was far from any other day.

It had been weeks since word had reached her house, a private messenger sent to notify them: The visit to Duscur had ended in tragedy. The King was dead. The Queen was dead. Glenn was dead. Dimitri was barely alive.

Kat had fallen to her knees when her father had told her. She had _begged_ to be allowed to come see Dimitri. She had threatened to take a horse and go on her own when he hesitated.

"The Kingdom is in chaos right now, Katerina," he told her. "Nowhere more so than Fhirdiad."

"I don't care!" she had insisted. "I need to see him!"

She had expected her father to get angry at her defiance, but instead he had looked at her with sympathy. "I'll do what I can. But I need you to be patient and not make any rash decisions."

Patience was not Kat's strong suit, which had been evident in the fact that she had refused to wait to contact her fiance until they were sixteen as had been originally decreed. She couldn't imagine it, not knowing him like she did now and hearing about this... how different would her reaction have been?

She had conceded this time, reluctantly staying put until her father finally arranged this visit. But she did not sit still, determined to find a way to help.

Kat had gone to her garden and torn out most of her plants (starting with that thorned red flower bush), preparing the ground so she could replace them with healing herbs. She had shoved her usual books to the side and instead spent her nights buried in books about medicine, wondering about the extent of Dimitri's injuries until she cried herself to sleep.

She felt helpless and useless.

"Katerina," her mother was saying quietly. Kat looked up, expecting to be reprimanded, only to find her mother's eyes looking at her kindly.

"Let's wait until we know," her father urged.

"Not that," her mother said with a shake of her head. "I was going to tell her about Christophe."

"Christophe?" Kat asked curiously. She'd met the older boy, the son of Lord Lonato Gaspard, only a few times when her father had let her accompany him on political visits across their territory. Byron, Gaspard, and Gansey were the biggest houses in Rowe territory and the leaders often met to discuss the territory.

"He was arrested by the Church," her mother stated. "He is to be executed." There was no emotion in her voice as she said this, it was said with the same cadence as if she had been discussing the weather.

"What? Why?" Kat asked. She didn't know much about the boy, but he had seemed kind. He reminded her of Glenn, the way he spoke of becoming a knight.

"They say he was involved in Duscur," her father said with a grimace.

"But I thought it was the Duscur people?"

"The church has accused him of assisting."

Kat frowned. "Why would he do that?"

"I'm not sure," her father said. He hesitated a moment. "Katerina... I..." he trailed off, looking out the window as they felt the carriage turning. "Never mind. We're almost there."

Kat looked at her father curiously, but decided not to push him.

The first thing Kat noticed as the carriage pulled around to the front of the castle were guards stationed everywhere. She recognized Rodrigue waiting for them out front, standing next to an unfamiliar blonde man.

Kat's mother frowned. "That's Lord Rufus, King Lambert's brother," she explained. "He is to be the regent until Dimitri is of age."

Kat swallowed hard. She had been preparing her entire life to become queen someday, but that day seemed like it was coming sooner than she had expected. She had assumed that Lambert would be king for many more years before Dimitri would have to ascend.

Lord Byron exited the carriage first and Kat stood to follow, but her mother grabbed her arm. "Katerina," she said in a low voice, "I need you to be careful while we're here."

Kat frowned at her mother. "What do you mean?"

"Don't find yourself alone with Lord Rufus. No matter what."

Katerina was fully aware of the rules of propriety, her mother reminded her of them nearly everyday. "Of course not."

"Just be careful," she insisted. "Now go. I'll be right behind you."

"Ah, this must be lovely Lady Katerina," Rufus said as Kat came to stand next to her father. 

She couldn't help but compare this stranger to his brother. He wasn't quite as tall, and much more slim. His hair was the same shade of blonde but longer, pooling in front of one shoulder. Kat thought she noticed a streak of gray or two glinting in the sunlight. His face had more lines, his eyes not quite as bright as the other members of his family. They seemed more glassy and dull. The most notable thing about him was the sharp scent that wafted off of him. She recognized it, but couldn't quite place it.

Rufus took her hand in his, maintaining eye contact as he kissed it. Kat tried to smile politely, but found she couldn't between her worry for Dimitri and the awkwardness of the situation. "It's nice to meet you, Lord Rufus," she said, trying to sound polite. Her voice sounded strained to her own ears, but he didn't seem to notice. His attention was now on the space behind her.

"Lady Byron," he said politely. "It's so nice to see you again."

Kat glanced back at her mother, surprised at the glare on her face. "Yes," she said simply. "It's been a very long time."

"Lady Katerina," Rodrigue said, taking Kat's hand and stealing her attention. He didn't kiss her hand, simply held it in both of his own. "How are you?"

Kat clenched her jaw, stopping the onslaught of tears that threatened to start again. She had promised herself that she would not let herself cry in front of them, _especially_ not in front of Dimitri. "I'm fine," she lied. "I'm so sorry for your losses, Lord Rodrigue."

He nodded somberly. "Thank you. I take comfort in the fact that Glenn died honorably, in service to His Highness."

Rufus and Rodrigue led them inside and into the large reception room. Kat fidgeted on a chair, looking around. She wanted to see Dimitri. No; she _needed_ to see him. She didn’t care what her parents were talking about with the two men. It wasn’t about Dimitri, so it was not important.

“Dimitri,” she finally heard Rodrigue say, “was severely injured. He is still recovering from his injuries.”

"Will there be any permanent damage?" her father asked.

"There may be some lingering effects, but it shouldn't be anything too serious," Rodrigue answered. "Our healers have done what they can, the rest is up to His Highness."

Kat gave Rodrigue a desperate look. “Can I see him?” she asked.

“Katerina,” her mother scolded.

“What?” she demanded. “He is my fiance and _I want to see him._ ”

Her parents looked at each other, frowning.

“I’m not sure that is such a good idea,” Rufus agreed. “He is barely conscious, and when he is, he is not very coherent. I am certain he would not want you to see him in this state.”

“I respectfully disagree,” Rodrigue countered before Kat could become too dejected. “I think seeing Katerina may give him some level of comfort.”

Rufus glared at Rodrigue who met his gaze evenly.

“There _is_ a matter that we would like to discuss with you privately, Lord Rufus,” her father interjected. "Regarding their arrangement?"

Rufus turned his head. “Ah yes. That. Though, I suppose if they want to torture themselves with marriage, who am I to stop them?" He laughed loudly and it sounded inappropriate with the somber mood. 

Kat stared at her parents, frowning. Was their engagement at stake?

"Very well," Rufus said. "Rodrigue, please take the girl to see _my_ nephew.”

Kat leapt to her feet. 

“Katerina,” her mother warned, “please remember what I told you.”

She frowned at her mother. “Of course.”

They separated, Rufus leading the elder Byron’s to an office while Rodrigue led her up the stairs to Dimitri’s room. “How is he, really?” she asked, starting to get nervous.

“Not well,” Rodrigue admitted. “But I have heard him asking about you a few times.”

Kat's hands began to shake and she wondered if this really was such a good idea. There was nothing she could do for him... and what would she say?

"I'm not sure I can actually help," she admitted to Lord Rodrigue.

"Unfortunately there's not much you can do or say," he told her honestly. "But your presence alone will be helpful, I'm sure of it." He sighed. "I think he just needs to be reassured that the rest of us are still here." 

She nodded. She could do that.

“I should warn you, there is a Duscur boy that refuses to leave His Highness’s side.”

“A _Duscur_ boy?” Kat asked incredulously.

“From what I hear, His Highness threw himself in harm’s way to protect the boy.”

"Hmm."

They rounded a corner and Rodrigue stopped to open a door in the hall. A tall boy Kat assumed to be the Duscur boy ran to the doorway. Kat could see Dimitri’s blonde hair buried under a pile of blankets around him.

“Mitya!” she cried out, trying to run to him. The tall boy blocked her, shaking his head.

“Dedue,” Rodrigue said, frowning. “It’s alright.”

“Rain?” she heard Dimitri ask weakly.

Dedue’s eyes widened and he stepped back, letting her pass. 

She ran to the side of the bed, her hands fluttering around him. He wasn’t covered in blankets, he was covered in _bandages_.

“Rain,” he whispered, sounding as exhausted as he looked. “You’re here.”

“Of course, Mitya,” she whispered back. She remembered Rodrigue's words and decided to take them a little farther. He didn't just need the reassurance that she was there physically, but more than that. It didn't matter what her parents were discussing with Rufus. “I’ll _always_ be here for you.”

“I’ll be just down the hall,” Rodrigue said.

Kat nodded, eyes too transfixed on Dimitri to look at the other man. She found a small segment of his forearm that was not covered in bandages and carefully laid her hand over it. He closed his eyes, looking peaceful for just a moment. “I’ve missed you,” he sighed.

“And I you. Are you… I…” There were so many things she wanted to convey but knew that most words meant so little at a time like this. “I’m sorry, Mitya,” she finally said. “I wish… I wish there was something I could do to make things better.”

“You’re here. That’s enough.”

She reached up to carefully push his hair back from his face. “I am. And I’ll always be here for you, Mitya. _No matter what._ I promise.”

“Rain…” he mumbled.

“I wish I could have come sooner.” He let out a soft sigh and covered her hand with one of his bandaged ones. 

Something touched the back of her knees and she turned her head to see Dedue holding a chair for her. She gave him a small smile before sitting. “Thank you.” She turned back to Dimitri who was looking up at her, barely able to keep his eyes open. "Can I get you anything? Or do anything for you?"

"Just stay with me," he murmured.

"I'll stay as long as I can," she promised. "Please, get some rest."

He nodded, finally letting his eyes close and relaxing.

"It's difficult to see him like this," Rodrigue said quietly.

Kat glanced up in surprise, she hadn't even noticed he'd reentered the room. "It is," she agreed.

Kat watched curiously as he hovered his hand over Dimitri and cast a healing spell.

Rodrigue shrugged. "I'm not sure if it helps, but surely it can't hurt." He sighed. "I have to do _something_."

"I know what you mean. I feel so helpless."

"He'll get better soon," Rodrigue assured her. "He's strong."

She squeezed Dimitri's arm carefully, nodding. "How is Felix?"

Rodrigue sighed again. "He'll be okay. Although… he is upset with me. I said the wrong things to him."

"I'm sure he'll get over it. He just needs some time."

"I hope you're right. We Fraldarius' can hold quite the grudge."

  


Kat couldn't sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Dimitri and the pain he must be in. Not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain as well. He had lost so many people close to him. She couldn't imagine going through such a trial. She wished there was _something_ she could do for him. How terrible of a wife would she be if she could not help him in his time of need?

There was a soft knock at the door and she jumped, staring at the door. Who would be calling this late at night? She approached the door cautiously. "Who is it?" she asked.

The knock came again. She bit her lip, remembering her mother's words and wondering what to do before finally deciding to just open the damn thing.

Dedue stood on the other side. She frowned at him. "Yes?"

He motioned for her to come with him.

"Can you not speak?" she asked.

His frown deepened and he pulled down his collar for her. His neck was red and bruised in what looked to be the pattern of a rope.

"Why hasn't anyone healed you?" she demanded.

He rolled his eyes at her and she realized it was a stupid question. He was from Duscur. He was the enemy. Without Dimitri, he would be dead.

"My apologies." she said. She reached a hand towards him and he flinched back. "I'm not very good, but I hope this helps a little," she said, ignoring his flinch.

The healing spell was weak, but it was enough to loosen some of the pain and tension in his throat. He stared at her in surprise. "Thank you," he finally croaked.

She nodded. “You are Dedue, correct?”

He nodded back. “You are Rain?”

She chuckled. He wasn’t wrong. “Rain is a name that only Dimitri calls me,” she explained. “My name is Katerina. But you may call me Kat.”

"I see. Dimitri... He calls out for you in his sleep."

That was all she needed to hear. Kat turned and ran down the hall, finding her way back to Dimitri's room quickly. He looked much the same as he had earlier, lying propped partway on his side and still covered in bandages. His head shifted back and forth as he slept fitfully.

"Mitya," she whispered, reaching for him. She brushed his hair back from his sweaty forehead and he stilled at her touch.

"He has nightmares," Dedue said quietly behind her. "I'm sure they are about... about Duscur. If I had to guess, he likely dreams of losing you along with everyone else."

"Mitya," Kat whispered again, running her fingers through his hair. "I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere."

She turned her face towards Dedue. "Is there a damp cloth nearby?"

Dedue handed her one and she pressed it gently against Dimitri's face, concentrating on his hairline.

"You truly care for him," Dedue said, watching her.

"Of course," she said.

"I'm not sure many people here do," he admitted.

Kat tried not to think about that statement too much. "If something like that happens again, I think he just needs reassurance that someone is here."

"I think it is more than that. I think your presence brings him great comfort."

She sat the cloth down and made a decision, carefully sliding onto the edge of the bed in the small space next to him. "You really think so?"

Dedue nodded.

"I'm going to stay. Can you help me wake up before dawn? If anyone catches us..." she paused to consider the consequences. "I'm not sure what will happen, actually. Regardless, I think it would be best if nobody knew."

Dedue nodded.

Kat curled next to Dimitri, letting her hand rest on his arm and hoping she wasn't hurting him.

  


“May I see Dimitri before we leave?” Kat asked at breakfast. Rodrigue had disappeared so it was only Rufus and her parents.

“Katerina, you should really let him rest,” her mother said.

“Please, I’m not sure when I’ll get to see him again. Just let me have a moment to say goodbye.”

Rufus shrugged, dark circles under his eyes. “Do as you please,” he said.

“Thank you, Lord Rufus,” she said. She stood and bowed to him before turning to leave the room.

“You should eat,” Kat told Dedue when she entered Dimitri's room. He frowned at her. “Here,” she said, handing him a few muffins she had stealthily slipped into her dress.

“Thank you,” Dedue said, eying a muffin suspiciously. “He has slept well this morning,” he added. “I think your presence helped him greatly.”

“It did,” Dimitri said, sounding much more alert than he had the previous day.

“Mitya,” she breathed, walking over to him. She pushed his hair back and he _almost_ smiled at her. “I don’t have long,” she said, her hand lingering on his cheek. “My father wants to get an early start on returning home.”

He nodded unhappily.

“I hope you will write to me once you are well enough to do so.”

His eyes clouded over, a darkness she had never seen before taking them over. It was a little unnerving and she wasn't quite sure what to make of it. “Rain,” he whispered intensely. “Please be extra careful in your letters. I… I’m not sure who I can trust here.”

“What are you talking about, Mitya?”

He grabbed her arm with his bandaged hand, gripping tightly for a moment before his grasp loosened suddenly and his fingers shook. “It wasn’t them, Rain,” he whispered.

Kat looked at him confused.

“I saw them, the ones who killed my father and the others. It _wasn’t_ the people of Duscur. Nobody believes me, but I know what I saw.”

She nodded, her eyes widening. “I believe you, Mitya.”

“I don’t know who I can trust, Rain.” He looked at her desperately. “Promise me I can trust you.” His grip tightened again.

“Of course, Mitya. You can trust me. I’ll always be here for you. I promise.”

He relaxed back against the pillows again, letting his eyes close. “Thank you, Rain… Thank you.”

“Oh dear,” Lady Byron said from the doorway. “Katerina, dear, I think we should get home and let His Highness rest.”

“Yes, mother,” she said. “Mitya… Please rest and heal,” she said, leaning down to kiss his cheek.

His eyelids fluttered open again. “I’ll write when I can,” he told her.

“Heal first,” she insisted. “And _please_ do not forget that I am yours. I will always be here for you, however you need me.” She leaned in a little closer. “I believe you,” she whispered into this ear. She glanced towards the door, seeing her mother was not standing there any longer. Kat leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “I’ll come see you again when I can, my Mitya,” she said.

“Thank you, Rain. I… I’m glad it’s you.”

“Hmm?”

“Your last letter…”

She thought for a moment, barely able to remember the contents of her last letter to him. So much had happened since then and her insecurities seemed childish and silly now. “Please don’t concern yourself with that,” she said, shaking her head. She kissed his forehead and then turned, holding back tears as she headed towards the door. 

She looked at Dedue before she left. “Take care of him.” Dedue nodded.

  


“Lady Katerina,” Rufus said as they were leaving. “Might I ask if Dimitri said anything… confusing to you?”

Kat shook her head. “He didn’t say much,” she lied.

He nodded. “I was afraid of that. He has not been very coherent.”

“I appreciate you letting me see him, regardless. Simply seeing him was the reassurance my heart needed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left kudos or comments! I was not expecting the love and I really, really appreciate it. You're keeping me motivated!
> 
> Next up will be another series of letters... they're kind of an important theme to this story and will continue as long as our lovers are apart... which is often.
> 
> If you want, you can find me on Twitter. @melissamajoriax


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat procrastinates writing to Dimitri and writes to his friends instead, with not-great results. Once she finally writes to Dimitri, she finds herself at a loss for words and feeling desperate to return to his side.

_Red Wolf Moon, 1176_

Sylvain,

You might think it odd to receive a letter from me, but it’s been a difficult time for those closest to us and I wanted to check in with you. I hope that you are doing as well as can be.

It’s important for us to support our friends in this difficult time. Unfortunately my location makes it difficult for me to do so, so I am entrusting this task to you in my absence. I hope that you find the time to visit not only Dimitri, but also Felix and Ingrid. I can’t imagine what they are going through, losing Glenn.

I was able to visit Dimitri and while it was difficult to see him so injured, he really needs to be reminded that there are people who care for him. I have a feeling that things are going to be difficult for a while. Please find time to visit him if you can.

I don’t know what to say to everyone. Dimitri and I have written letters for so long and now I have no idea what to write to him. That’s why I hope that you can spend some time with him and the others. Companionship may be more powerful than words right now.

I hope I am not putting too much pressure on you, but I feel so helpless being so far away. Please feel free to write to me if you need anything at all.

Your friend,  
Kat  


_Red Wolf Moon, 1176_

Felix,

I am so very sorry to hear about Glenn. I wish that I could have gotten to know him better, but the love that each of you have for him speaks volumes about the type of person he was. It was clear that he cared deeply for all of you as well, but none so much as you.

I can never thank the two of you enough for helping me. I am so incredibly grateful for your family's visit so many years ago. It truly changed my life in ways you cannot imagine.

I saw your father when I went to visit Dimitri. He told me about how you weren’t getting along. I hope that you have made up. Please don’t be too hard on him, I can’t imagine his grief. It seems unnatural for a parent to outlive their child. Please remember that you are both grieving and it’s important to rely on each other.

I hope that you also find the time to visit Dimitri. It wasn’t easy to see him, but I truly think he needs to be surrounded by people who care for him. And I know that you are still one of those who cares for him the most. I’m glad that we’re a little older and understand relationships a bit more now so we don’t have to continue to argue over him.

Please know that you can write to me if you wish. I don’t have any siblings so I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but I know it must be difficult. I hope that you consider me a friend, as I know that I consider you my friend.

Your friend,  
Kat  


_Red Wolf Moon, 1176_

Ingrid,

I know that there is nothing I can say to make anything better, but I thought I’d write anyway. I hope at the very least that hearing from a friend is somewhat comforting.

I am so very sorry about Glenn. He was an amazing person and it was clear that he cared deeply for you. I could tell by the way he looked at you at Dimitri’s birthday. I wish you could have seen the way he smiled at you when you told me of your engagement.

Dimitri spoke of Glenn frequently in his letters, often with high praise. I wish I could have gotten to know him better myself. My life would not be the same without him, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who holds that sentiment.

I hope you are remembering to take care of yourself. I know that when I am unhappy I find it difficult to remember to take the time to perform the simplest of tasks. I read in a book once that it's important to keep doing the things you enjoyed before, even if you don't feel like it.

Speaking of books, I wondered if you would be interested in exchanging recommendations? Dimitri mentioned once that you also enjoy reading. I have been busy studying lately and haven't had much time for recreational reading, but if you recommend a book I'll take the time to read it. I think it could be fun, please let me know if you agree.

Please remember that there are so many people who care about you, Ingrid. I am honored to call you my friend, and I hope that you consider me your friend as well.

Your friend,  
Kat  


_Ethereal Moon, 1176_

My Mitya,

Do you remember our moon flower? I meant to bring it with me the last time I visited, but I forgot. So here it is now - perhaps we can consider it a birthday present? I’ll never forget the look on your face when we watched the moon flowers bloom. Regardless of all that has happened, I still think of this flower as a blessing and I hope you do as well.

I hope you are healing well. I will write a proper letter soon.

Yours always,  
Rain  


_Ethereal Moon, 1176_

Kat,

It is such an honor to receive a letter from the prettiest girl in all of Faerghus. But who am I kidding? I’m sure you’re the prettiest girl in all of Fodlan. I’m jealous of Dimitri for stealing you away before anyone else had the chance. I wonder if you have a sister? Or maybe a young aunt?

I'm glad you got to go see Dimitri. I'm sure a woman's touch is just what he needs. You'd be surprised by how much it can heal. You don't have to worry about me, all the girls in town are worried about my well-being and are lined up to help me heal. I guess that's the power of a crest for you.

If you ever get sick of the royal life, let me know. I think we'd go well together.

Sylvain

_Ethereal Moon, 1176_

Kat,

Mind your own business.

Felix

_Guardian Moon, 1176_

My Mitya,

I apologize for taking so long to write a proper letter. The truth is, I have started and stopped this letter many times. I have been unsure of what to say to you. My words seem loud when I believe you need the comfort of silence more than anything right now. Unfortunately, instead all I have to offer you are hopes and wishes.

I miss you desperately. I would give anything to be by your side during your time of need. I wish there was something I could do or say to make things better. If I could take your pain from you, I would in a heartbeat. How nice it would be if we could literally share our pain with another.

I feel there is nothing I can do or say to make anything better. I hope you will tell me if there is something I can do for you. I used to tell you such mundane things in these letters and that seems so childish now. Or perhaps something familiar like that would help? I am unsure.

I spent a lot of time in the garden when I returned home. I’m enclosing a few pressed plants I hope you will enjoy. Please let me know, honestly. I am trying to grow more medicinal plants so my hobby will be more useful and less simply for decorum.

Speaking of medicine, I hope you are healing well. I told my teachers that I wish to learn more healing magic. I wish I could have offered you some measure of comfort but I’m afraid my magic skills are subpar at best as I’m sure you recall. I’m sure you have the best healers in Faerghus on hand to help you, though, likely the best in Fodlan.

I miss you so much, Mitya. Please remember that I will always be there for you, no matter what. Nothing has changed.

Yours always,  
Rain  


_Lone Moon, 1176_

Rain,

I must beg your forgiveness for my late reply.

You seem so unsure of how to help me when in fact simply receiving a letter from you, reading your words is of such a great comfort to me. I have always been overjoyed to receive your letters, none so much as now. You could spend pages describing a single blade of grass and I would cherish each word.

In addition, I love your gifts. Please never doubt this. You could send me a thousand pressed plants and I would cover my walls with them, would cover the entirety of the castle with them. Every day I walk past the ones you have sent me and they remind me of you, which makes me smile.

I miss you desperately as well. I am so glad that you were able to come see me. Simply seeing you healed my heart in ways you cannot imagine. I meant what I told you - I’m glad that it’s you, that you are the one I have been matched with. I don’t believe that any other person could capture my heart in quite the way you have.

I have a lot to think on and I wish you were here to share my thoughts with. You and Dedue are my most trusted allies right now. I am sorry that we did not get much of a chance to speak when you were last here. I hope that you do remember what I was able to tell you.

Speaking of Dedue, I wanted to thank you for healing him. As I’m sure you can imagine, he has had a rough time since I brought him to Fhirdiad. I frequently wonder if it was the right choice, but I’m not sure what other option I had. He has sworn his fealty to me and I’m honestly not sure how I feel about that. I appreciate you treating him kindly, regardless of how the rest of the country feels about the people of Duscur.

I am trying to work with my uncle to find time to come visit you, but he is worried about my health. I know that you are as well, but please do not concern yourself. You said that you would take my pain if you could, but I would never want to pass those burdens on to you. I never want to see you hurt or unhappy, my Rain.

The majority of my injuries have healed and I have been working on rebuilding my strength. It is frustrating, but necessary. It sounds as though you have been working hard as well. Let’s continue to work hard to build a better future together!

I hope I can see you again soon.

Yours,  
Mitya  


_Great Tree Moon, 1177_

Mitya,

Please do not apologize for taking your time. I honestly was surprised to see your reply so soon. I know you want to work hard, but I hope you do not push yourself too much. Please remember that you are still healing and you need to rest.

I never wanted to see you hurt or unhappy as well, and I hope to never see you in that state again. Although, I’m sure it’s still difficult for you to be truly happy right now. You have been through such a trial. If you ever want to discuss any of it, I would be more than happy to listen. You offer me so many reassurances and I wish I could offer the same to you, but I’m sure you will reassure me that I have in your next letter.

I hope that Dedue is doing well. I must admit that I had my reservations when Rodrigue told me there was a Duscur boy by your side. But when he told me that he was there by your doing, I knew that I had to trust your judgment. The way I witnessed him guarding you was enough to endear him to me. Anyone who cares for my Mitya deserves my care, regardless of their lineage. I hope the rest of the country follows in my line of thinking.

I apologize if this letter seems short, but I’m still not sure what to say, short of describing blades of grass to you. We will see each other again soon, I am sure. I will find a way to come to you if your uncle remains hesitant.

Yours always,  
Rain  


_Harpstring Moon, 1177_

Rain,

While I admit that it is difficult for me to find happiness some days, I think that you are wrong about me not being truly happy right now. You make me happy, and you have for a long time now. I think the width of my smile when I retrieve your letters makes the messenger uncomfortable.

While things are difficult now, I still have hope that our life together will be one of happiness. It may be difficult at times, but I believe we can work together to make Faerghus a better place.

I do appreciate your offer to listen. There is much I wish to discuss with you, but I would prefer to talk with you in person rather than through letters. However, I must request that you never ask me details of what happened in Duscur because I do not wish to share such horrors with anyone, especially not you.

I have begun to teach Dedue to read and write in the Fodlan style. I hope you do not mind that I’ve been using some of your early letters as a learning tool. Most of the books in our library are a bit too complicated at this stage, though he seems to be progressing quickly. I wonder if you would be opposed to him writing to you? It would be great practice. I’m also sure that he would also enjoy conversing with someone besides me.

While I appreciate your line of thinking when it comes to Dedue, unfortunately it has been my experience that at least Fhirdiad does not feel the same way. Few people will even speak with him. I understand they blame the Duscur people for my father’s death, but this narrow-minded mindset is a travesty to his memory. My father wanted to open Faerghus’ doors to our neighbors, to join hands with not only the people of Duscur, but of Sreng and other nations. I do hope that someday we can continue his work together.

I have still been trying to convince my uncle to allow me to visit you but with little luck. I still hold out hope that we will see each other again soon.

Yours,  
Mitya  


_Garland Moon, 1177_

My Mitya,

I sent you my first letter on the Garland Moon four long years ago. Can you believe it has been so long? And to think, it’s still a year and a half before we were ever supposed to have any contact.

I tried something a little different in my pressed flower this time - I wanted it to resemble the garland I made for you. Someday I’ll be able to present my garland to you in person.

When I was a child, I would carry the garland I made around town and tell everyone I encountered about how it was for you and how we were going to get married someday. I’m not quite as boastful now, but I am still just as honored and proud to be your betrothed.

Please let Dedue know that I would love to receive a letter from him. I am very sorry to hear that people have been unkind to him. I wish there was more that I could do to help. I wrote to your other friends but did not get much response. I wonder if any of them have come to see you? I worry about them as well.

I hate being so far away from you and having to rely on letters. Please do not misunderstand, I cherish each and every letter I receive from you. I simply wish I were close enough to come sit by your side and hold your hand when your nights inevitably seem too long to bear as I'm sure they do.

I will find a way to come see you soon, my Mitya.

Yours,  
Rain  


_Blue Sea Moon, 1177_

Lady Katerina,

Thank you for giving me this opportunity to write to you. I hope that you are well.

His Highness tells me that you have been writing each other for many years now. It must be difficult for you to be apart due to your relationship. I admit that I do not understand why you are kept from each other or even how exactly your relationship came to be. I am not familiar with such practices.

I hope that you can visit soon. It is clear that your presence is of some comfort to Dimitri. He has told me much about you. Simply speaking of you brings a light to his eyes that isn’t typically there. I can tell that you both care deeply for each other.

His Highness said that you enjoy gardening. This is something that we have in common. Duscur was covered in flowers. I have tried to grow some of the same variety here in Fhirdiad but the climate is much too moist. Instead I have been trying to learn about the types of plants that will survive in the harsh weather here. Perhaps we can discuss when next we meet.

Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to write to you.

Sincerely,  
Dedue  


_Blue Sea Moon, 1177_

Rain,

I look forward to the day when you can finally lay your flower crown upon my head. The pressed flower you sent is beautiful, I can almost imagine how lovely the actual crown was.

Sylvain came to visit last month. For many years now it has been his habit to spend his birthday in Fhirdiad and I’m glad that he did not skip this year. Unfortunately the others were unable to join. I’ve heard that Ingrid is especially having a difficult time.

I’m honestly afraid to see Felix or Ingrid. I am not sure what to say to them. I have grown weary of the empty words that are still parroted to me and I'm sure they feel the same. It’s difficult to see Rodrigue when he visits. There was nothing I could do to prevent Glenn’s needless death and I’m not sure how to convey my sorrow to any of them.

Please forgive me for taking such a dark turn in this letter. It was very thoughtful of you to write to the others. Perhaps I will be as brave as you and do the same until they can find the opportunity to visit.

I saw your family’s seal on a letter addressed to my uncle when the messenger delivered your letter. I hope this means that they are discussing a visit between our houses. I suppose I have no choice but to wait patiently until then.

I miss you.

Yours,  
Mitya  


_Verdant Rain Moon, 1177_

My Mitya,

I am sure you will soon learn if you have not already, but my father has managed to secure a visit. We will be on our way to Fhirdiad before the month is over!

I can’t wait to see you, there is much I wish to speak of with you. I will save my words for when we are soon together.

Yours always,  
Rain  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kat took one look at Sylvain’s letter and immediately tossed it into the fire.  
> Much like Kat, I procrastinated writing this mostly because I wasn't sure of what to have either of them say?  
> Kat is simply at a loss for words and Dimitri is clearly holding back some stuff and afraid of what he can (and should) say. He does not want to burden his lady love with his problems which seem to be compounding. 
> 
> *Note - I went back and changed the spelling of Kat’s full name because I realized there’s a fire emblem character named Katarina already. So Kat is now short for Katerina :P  
> I also added a couple of lines to the last chapter that I couldn’t stop thinking about. Nothing important, just Dedue and Kat properly introducing themselves to each other when he comes to get her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimitri almost breaks a teacup, and Kat does.

_Verdant Rain Moon, 1177_

Kat was standing before the carriage came to a complete stop. She tensed, excitement draining from her body as Lord Byron gripped her wrist and stopped her from leaping from the carriage.

“Katerina,” he said firmly. “Remember to watch your words.”

She nodded, glancing back out the window to see Dimitri. She was pleased to see him accompanying his uncle to greet them this time. He was almost unrecognizable, standing taller and with much shorter hair. The expression on his face was also one she was not used to. The huge smile he had greeted her with previously was missing, replaced with a dark look as he eyed his uncle who stood several feet away speaking with a young maid.

Dimitri still had a small smile for her when she was finally free of her father’s grasp and emerged from the carriage, however. The front of his shorter hair still brushed the back of her hand as he bent to kiss it. Up close it was easier to recognize other changes in him, most notably the hardness in his eyes and the shadows underneath them. They softened as they met hers, some of the brightness she remembered returning.

Unsure of how freely they could speak in front of the adults, they shared few words in the sitting room. Dimitri had grasped her hand once kissing it and had not let go. Kat ran her thumb across his gloved finger.

Something felt different about their dynamic now and she wondered if Dimitri felt it as well. Perhaps it was the fear of losing him or of seeing him so vulnerable. Perhaps it was some combination of the two. Regardless of the reason, she felt bolder with him. The level of comfort they had reached in their letters seemed to finally be spilling out now.

“Would you like to join me for a ride before dinner?” Dimitri finally asked. He seemed tense and uncomfortable as they sat on the couch half-listening to her parents and Rufus exchange what seemed like pointless words.

She smiled. “I’d love to.” She was ready to get away as well.

“How are you, really?” Kat asked once they were a ways away from the castle. She could tell from Dimitri’s letters that there was much he was keeping from her.

He swallowed hard. “I’m not sure,” he admitted.

She nodded. “That’s understandable.”

He glanced back at their chaperone, a shadow crossing his face. He lowered his voice before speaking again. “There is something I wish to speak of with you. Now is not the time, however. Alone would be preferable… Would you be willing to join me for tea after dinner?”

“Oh, Mitya. You should know by now that I will spend every moment with you that I can.”

Dimitri smiled, the shadow disappearing. It was the first proper smile she’d seen on his face since Duscur. It was such a difference from the boy she’d first met that seemed to smile all the time that she had begun to wonder if she’d ever see that smile again.

“We won’t have the privacy I wish we could be afforded, but it should be enough.”

Kat nodded. “I hope you healed well?” she asked, changing the subject.

Dimitri looked down at his hands, trying to hide his face behind his shorter, uneven hair. “Fairly well,” he said cautiously. “I… I should let you know that I am quite scarred now.”

“That does not change anything for me.”

He scoffed. “You say that now, before you have even seen.”

“Then show me and I will prove it,” she challenged.

He blushed deeply. “I… that would be improper.”

“I have a scar on my hip that I could show you in exchange,” Kat suggested with a sly smile.

“Rain!”

She laughed. “My apologies. I actually got that scar when I fell from a horse,” she said, reaching up to pet the horse she was currently riding. “My mother told me that it was lucky I was only truly marred in a place that could be hidden because you would no longer want me if I were too damaged.”

“Your mother is mistaken,” Dimitri said with a frown. “I would not turn you away for such a thing.”

“She is often mistaken. But do you not think that I would return that sentiment?”

He sighed.

“I’m serious, Mitya. Do you remember what I told you?”

He nodded.

“Nothing has changed. I am yours and I will always be here for you, however you need me. Your scars still do not change anything.”

Dimitri nodded again, seeming to finally accept her words.

Kat glanced over at him, her curiosity getting the better of her. He was so completely covered, only his head visible. No scars that she could see there… Perhaps being blunt was best. “May I ask where?”

“Everywhere,” he admitted. “But the worst of them are on my back and hands.”

“Oh, Mitya… Do they hurt?”

“Not for the most part. My hands still give me trouble occasionally. I still struggle with my grip sometimes.” He held up the reins of the horse. “I’m doing better, but even this action was difficult for me. I was worried I’d never be able to wield a weapon at one point.”

“Mitya!” she gasped. “You should have told me. I was so insistent that you write to me. It must have been agony!” Some of his letters _had_ been a little messy.

“No, Rain, no,” he assured her. “It was quite helpful, actually.”

“I never want to be the cause of pain or discomfort to you.”

He smiled softly at her. “Writing to you has always been something I enjoyed. I wanted to get better so I could do it more easily. It motivated me to work harder. Every time I got frustrated, I would think of you.”

“I hope you don’t always correlate me with frustration.”

“Rain…”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to tease you so much.”

“You’re the only one who does anymore,” he said sadly.

“Your hands are better now?” she asked, steering the conversation back.

“They aren’t 100%. But they are significantly better than they were. The hardest part has been learning to curb my strength again. That’s why writing to you with such delicate quills has been such help.”

“Because of your crest?” He’d written to her of the problems he had with his crest and inherited strength, frequently breaking things.

He nodded. “I’ve spent much of my life trying not to break things, and it seems I will continue to do so.” He stared at the horizon thoughtfully. “I worry about… _you_ , sometimes.”

“Me?” she asked, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“I am afraid that I will accidentally hurt you.”

“I trust you, Mitya.”

He looked away, gripping the reins tightly. “Maybe you shouldn’t.”

She guided her horse as close to his as she could, reaching out to put her hand over his. He loosened his grip on the reins. “I’m not going anywhere,” she reminded him.

They kept the conversation light as they continued to ride, venturing down into a valley instead of up into the mountains this time. Dimitri pointed out a family of deer in the distance while Kat identified several plants.

Dedue appeared as Kat sat waiting for Dimitri at a small table in the sitting room she recognized from his birthday party. Kat had seen Dedue only a couple of times since arriving in Fhirdiad. They had only had time to exchange little more than pleasantries.

“His Highness sends his regrets that he is running late,” Dedue said with an awkward bow.

Kat chuckled. “ _His Highness_ should know that I would wait for him all night.”

“I will relay your message,” Dedue said, turning.

“No, wait!” she called. “Dedue, that’s not what I meant. Won’t you keep me company until he arrives?” There was maid in the room busying herself with dusting, but judging by the poor job she was doing Kat assumed she was there to keep an eye on them. Whether she had been assigned by Lady Byron or Rufus, Kat was not sure. So much for privacy. Kat had tried to speak with the young woman, but she had been terse. She looked over at Kat and Dedue now and frowned.

“Please?” Kat added with a smile. “I’m glad you’re here, actually. I brought you some books.” She lifted the small stack she had set on the floor next to her chair and laid them on the table.

“For _me_?” Dedue asked, taken aback.

Kat nodded. “Please, sit.”

He seemed too surprised to argue further, sinking into the chair across from her.

“I’m sure that these exist here in Fhirdiad, but I’m also sure Dimitri would have no clue as to where to find them.” She thought she saw the hint of a smile cross his face. “You mentioned you wanted to learn more about the types of plants that would grow in Fodlan?”

He nodded, lifting one of the books and flipping through it slowly. “Thank you, Lady Katerina,” he said, looking up at her. “I am eternally grateful for your kindness.”

She shook her head. “Please, just call me Kat. And don’t worry about it. Friends help each other out.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it, glancing at the maid.

“You said that the flowers from Duscur won’t grow here?”

He nodded, trying and failing to hide the melancholic look that crossed his face. “The ground is too moist. Duscur was much drier.”

“Is there a greenhouse you could use?” she suggested. Surely some familiar sights would make his time here easier.

He hesitated. “There is one, but it is in disrepair. It has not been used in many years. I am trying to repair it, but it will take some time and I unfortunately do not have much time to spare.”

She nodded. “I’m trying to convince my father to have one built, but he is hesitant since I will only be at home for a few more years.”

“And then you will come here?”

“Yes. In just over three years now.” She couldn’t stop the wide smile that crossed her face.

“I don’t understand why you can’t just come now.”

“We’re a bit young for that, don’t you think?” she asked, feeling her face warm a bit.

“Dimitri would benefit greatly from your regular presence.”

“I would do anything to make him happy,” she admitted with a frown. “Unfortunately this is something that was decided before we were born.” She looked at him thoughtfully. “Do you think _you’re_ ready for marriage already?”

His eyes widened in surprise. “My life belongs to Dimi-His Highness now.”

Kat frowned.

“But, if it did not and I were to find someone whom I cared for the way you care for each other, then I would not hesitate. I would not want to waste a single moment without them.”

Kat felt her eyes watering. “That’s really sweet, Dedue.”

Needing something to distract herself, she grabbed a biscuit from the plate piled with teatime treats. “Please, have one,” she insisted.

He hesitated, but took one. “I am still getting used to Fodlan food,” he admitted, chewing slowly.

“Is it much different?” Kat asked curiously.

“I’ve noticed that the use of salt is much more liberal than it was in Duscur.”

“It’s impressive that you’re able to pick out the individual flavor. Did you do much cooking in Duscur?”

“I often helped my mother and sister.”

Kat frowned as the melancholic look returned. “I would love to hear about them if it is not too painful.”

“Perhaps another time,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course.” She wanted to apologize, but thought it might just make things worse.

“Do you do much cooking?”

She shook her head with a chuckle. “I have been banned from the kitchens in my house for many years now.”

Dimitri walked up then, saving her from possibly inflicting further pain on Dedue. “I apologize for keeping you waiting,” he said, approaching the table.

Dedue jumped up, bowing awkwardly to both of them.

“Oh, Dedue, you don’t have to get up,” Dimitri protested.

“Thank you, but I should leave you two to your tea.”

“Please,” Kat joined the protest. “Won’t you join us?”

“No, I couldn’t dare. I want to indulge in these books you brought, Lady Katerina. Thank you again.”

“Books?” Dimitri asked, taking his seat once Dedue had left.

“I brought some books on Fodlan plants for him.”

“That’s very kind of you,” he said with a smile.

“I hope you will help him with them.”

“Of course!” He hesitated a moment. “I hope you don’t mind, but I eavesdropped on your conversation a little.”

“You could have joined,” she admonished.

“Perhaps,” he admitted. “But I’ve never heard Dedue talk so much about himself or Duscur.”

She expected some kind of emotion to cross his face when he said ‘Duscur’ but there was nothing. “He’s probably worried that mentioning Duscur will upset you,” she said tentatively. “Even I’m hesitant to say the word around you.”

“Please do not be. Dedue should know better than anyone that I harbor no ill will towards the people or land of Duscur.”

She reached forward to put her hand over his. “You truly feel no sort of negative feelings when hearing the word?”

He paused, thinking. “Say it again,” he suggested.

“Duscur,” she said simply.

“No,” he said, shaking his head.

She squeezed his hand, smiling. “Good.”

“I worry I am not a very good friend to him,” Dimitri admitted with a thoughtful frown.

“Mitya… From what I understand, you saved him from certain death. That is something that bonds people.”

“I think there is a difference between being bonded and being friends. Did you consider me your friend before we began exchanging letters?”

“No,” she admitted. “But I hoped to become your friend eventually.”

“And now?”

She blinked at him, surprised. “Of course. You’re my best friend, Mitya. And more,” she added with a blush.

He smiled, returning her blush. “I feel the same way.”

“I look forward to our relationship continuing to blossom.”

He turned his hand to twine their fingers together. “As do I. Shall we have some tea?” he gestured towards the teapot. “I hope it has not gotten too cold. And I hope you like chamomile?”

It wasn’t her favorite, she found it a bit too bitter for her taste. But she would drink anything, even the Bergamot she absolutely disliked, if only for more time with him. “You enjoy chamomile?” she asked curiously.

“It’s one of my favorites.”

“I had no idea. I’ll have to try and grow it. It’s a lovely flower.”

“Um…” his hand hovered over the teapot, trembling a little. “Do you mind pouring? This china is so fine, I’m worried it will break under my grasp.”

“Oh, of course! Please, allow me,” she said, lifting the teapot. It felt sturdy enough under her own hand, but she had heard that the rumors of the Blaiddyd strength were not to be taken lightly.

“Is it true,” she started, remembering one of her favorite stories as she poured tea into his cup, “that you lifted an entire horse when you were only five years old?”

He chuckled, looking down at the steam billowing from his cup. “I did not think that story had spread so far,” he said with a blush.

“I used to be desperate for information about you,” she reminded him. “I would ask anyone I encountered if they knew anything about you.”

“I don’t remember it well,” he paused to sip his tea. “But I was actually four. And the horse was so bewildered it almost kicked me. I put it down almost immediately.”

Kat giggled delightedly. “So did you just do it because you could?”

“I remember Rodrigue was on the horse and Felix was crying. I think I was trying to make Felix laugh.”

“I bet you succeeded.” She lifted her cup to her mouth, inhaling deeply before taking a sip. It definitely had a pleasant aroma, very relaxing.

She hesitated over her next question, not wanting to change the light mood of their conversation, even if it was necessary. “Have you heard from Felix? Or Ingrid?”

They both glanced down at the teacup that creaked suddenly under Dimitri’s grip. He sat the cup down very carefully. “No.”

She reached forward to cover his now free hand again. It was trembling slightly. “Mitya…” she said gently. “They don’t blame you, you know that, right?” It had broken her heart to read between the lines in his last letter.

He stared down into his cup as if reading the future in the tea leaves and nodded slightly.

“And you know that nothing that happened is your fault, right?”

He continued to nod, his hand still trembling.

“I’m sure they’ll come to you when they’re ready.”

“You’re right,” he said, looking back up and giving her a reassuring smile.

She could see the strain in the edges, though, and squeezed his hand. “What was it you wanted to talk about?” she asked.

He took a deep breath, turning his hand to twine their fingers together again. “Do you remember what I told you last time you were here?”

She glanced towards the maid who looked utterly bored and lowered her voice. “You said you weren’t sure who you could trust. And that the people of Duscur were not responsible.”

He nodded. “Things have been tense since you were here last. I worry that my uncle is keeping me from leaving for a reason, although I’m not sure what exactly that reason is.”

Kat noticed the maid cock her head to the side and subtly begin to move closer.

“He has been especially resistant to even considering that the Duscur people were not responsible. I can’t help but wonder if he-” He stopped abruptly, giving her a bewildered look as she threw her teacup onto the ground.

“Oh my goodness!” she cried. “How clumsy of me.”

The maid jumped into action, picking up broken bits of teacup. Once she had left the room, Kat commented, “I hope that teacup did not have any sentimental value.”

“No… It’s part of a set that I’ve already broken most of. But what happened? Are you unwell?”

“I’m fine, Mitya.” She leaned in closer. “I might be being paranoid, but I think that maid was listening in on our conversation. I don’t think it’s safe to talk in front of her.”

He frowned, looking at the doorway she had disappeared to. “I think you’re right. I have seen her talking to my uncle.” He sighed. “I don’t know how to speak with you in private.”

“Perhaps I can sneak away again tonight,” she suggested in a whisper.

“Again?” he asked.

“Last time I was here, Dedue said you called out for me in your sleep. I stayed next to you all night.”

He blinked several times, looking thoughtful. “I thought that was a dream.”

“Oh?” She had been sure he was aware or that Dedue had told him.

“It was the first pleasant dream I’d had.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint,” she teased.

He gave her a rueful smile. “I remember you coming to see me that day, and then coming to say goodbye the next. You really stayed the entire night?”

She nodded. “I had to sneak away pretty early.”

“I hope I did not disturb your rest too much.”

She laughed quietly, shaking her head. “Of course you would be concerned with _my_ wellbeing.” The amusement faded quickly as she recalled him covered in bandages and clearly in pain.

“I suppose if you were not opposed, we could meet in my room after everyone has gone to bed,” he said, shaking her from her dark reverie.

“I would not be opposed. Until then, however, I think it might be best if you were to escort me back to my room.”

Kat held Dimitri’s arm as they approached the guest wing. Her mother jumped up as they passed a sitting area her parents were occupying.

“Katerina? Are you alright?” she asked. “I’d heard you fainted.”

Kat snorted, leaning more heavily on Dimitri. “Word travels surprisingly fast in such a large castle. But I did not faint, mother. I simply dropped a teacup. I’m only tired. It was a long journey.”

“Thank you for escorting her back, Your Highness,” Lady Byron told Dimitri with a bow.

“It was my pleasure,” he said inclining his head. “I wish we had more time together, but I believe Katerina needs her rest.”

“Thank you, Dimitri,” Kat said, letting go of his arm and lifting on her toes to kiss his cheek.

“I will see you tomorrow,” he said with a smile.

“Yes, _tomorrow_ ,” she said with a wink.

A few hours later Kat was tapping lightly on Dimitri’s door. He flung it open and smiled widely at her. “You made it.”

She slid her hands into his and squeezed gently. “I told you I would.”

He reached up and carefully pushed an errant strand of her hair back. “Would you be interested in assisting me with a task first? Your powers of deception earlier were impressive and I wouldn’t mind utilizing them further.”

“You have my attention,” Kat said with a smile.

Dimitri looked up and down the hall before turning back to her. “There are some items I wish to retrieve from my father’s room. I worry that they will manage to disappear otherwise.”

“Can’t you just walk in and get them?”

“Not without arousing suspicion. My uncle has blocked off that entire wing of the castle. He has taken a room there and is the only person allowed in or out.”

“He didn’t take your father’s room, did he?”

Dimitri shook his head, his eyes narrowing. “I would take Dedue on this excursion, but if we are caught…”

“I can talk my way out of it much more easily than he can,” she surmised.

“Exactly. Especially after that display earlier… I wonder if I should be worried?”

“Oh, Mitya,” she said with a chuckle. “I would never deceive you like that. I said you could trust me and I meant it.”

He smiled. “Shall we, then?” He offered her his arm and she gladly took it. He led her down a long hall filled with portraits and up a staircase, through a set of double doors.

“Are there no guards?” Kat whispered.

Dimitri shook his head. “The interior of the castle is surprisingly unguarded, considering everything that’s happened.” Kat squeezed his arm.

They reached an intersection. “Down there is the room my uncle has chosen,” Dimitri explained, pointing to the dead end on the right. To the left was another set of double doors. “This is the royal suites.”

“I’m surprised he did not take a room through there.”

“It would have been considered improper considering his reign is only temporary.”

“So that room is empty?”

Dimitri nodded. “There are several rooms through there, including one I used to stay in when I was very young.” He looked around again. “There should be nobody in there, so if you will wait here, perhaps down this hall, and keep an eye out? I will return shortly.”

“Alright,” Kat said uneasily.

There was a portrait of the late King on the nearby wall and Kat paused to study it carefully. There were portraits of Lambert throughout the castle and Kat couldn’t help but wonder if being surrounded by reminders of his father was helpful or detrimental to Dimitri’s healing. Kat herself could almost hear Lambert’s laugh echoing through the hall…

“And who might you be?”

Kat jumped, spinning to find a tall woman standing behind her. Her peach colored hair flowed around a gold circlet and down to her very large chest. Kat forced her eyes up and into the woman’s own teal eyes that matched the jewels on her circlet.

“This area is off-limits,” she added when Kat was too shocked to speak immediately.

Kat composed herself, remembering her task. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I’m Katerina Byron, Prince Dimitri’s betrothed,” she explained with a curtsy.

“Ah, yes, I’ve heard about you,” the woman said. Kat thought she heard a hint of disappointment in her voice. “I’m Cornelia Arnim, court mage.”

“I was having trouble sleeping so His Highness was kind enough to walk with me, but unfortunately we got separated. I didn’t realize this area was off-limits.”

“How nice that His Highness has found someone else to share in his insomnia.”

Kat frowned. Insomnia? “Indeed.”

“I’ve often noticed him roaming the castle at all hours. The poor dear.”

“Kat! There you are,” Dimitri said from behind Cornelia.

“Dimitri!” Kat stepped around Cornelia to take his arm.

“Thank you for finding her for me, Cornelia,” Dimitri said with a bow.

“I’m so sorry for wandering off,” Kat said, looking up at him with wide, adoring eyes.

“Let’s get back,” Dimitri suggested.

Kat let out a big yawn that was only partly fake. “Good idea.” She turned back to Cornelia. “It was nice to meet you!”

Cornelia eyed them suspiciously but nodded. “And you as well,” she said as Dimitri led Kat away.

“You are amazing,” Dimitri said, once they were a ways away from the forbidden royal wing.

Kat shrugged. “Everyone makes assumptions about me. It’s not hard to live up to them.”

His eyebrows furrowed as he took in her meaning. “You mean they underestimate you.”

She shrugged. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

Dimitri nodded, patting his pocket which jangled. “Thank you for your assistance.”

“I didn’t really do much.”

“Nonsense. I couldn’t have done it without you. I’ve been afraid to go in there, honestly.”

Kat squeezed his arm. “It must have been difficult.”

“Do you still have time to talk?” Dimitri asked. Kat looked up to find they were back at his door already.

“Of course, Mitya.”

Kat hadn’t taken much time to look around Dimitri’s room the last time she was here but she was sure it wasn’t as sparse as it seemed now. If it wasn’t for her pressed flowers hanging over his desk, this could have easily been mistaken for a large guest room.

“The moon-flower is over here,” Dimitri said, noticing her looking. She turned to find him gesturing to the table next to his bed.

“I was worried it might make you unhappy,” she said moving closer.

He shook his head. “Regardless of all that has occurred in the time since, I look back on that time fondly.” He took her hand and kissed it firmly. “I had to spend quite a bit of time confined to bed and it was nice to have this nearby.”

Kat smiled. “I’m glad.”

Dimitri led her to a small table in the corner, sitting and gesturing for her to do the same. He reached for her hand across the table, interlacing their fingers together again.

“You were talking about Duscur, about your uncle?” Kat prompted.

“Yes. I’m not sure what to think about my uncle, to be honest.” He looked down at the table with a frown. “We have never been close, but I’ve never wanted to be around anyone less.”

Kat bit her lip, wondering if she should mention what her mother told her. “He and my mother seem to have some kind of history,” she said.

“Oh? How curious. I wonder what it might be?”

“I’m not sure, but my mother did not seem happy to see him.”

“I did not notice anything amiss when you first arrived,” he said thoughtfully.

“My mother is all about acting properly. Perhaps that is where I get my deviousness from.” She had never thought of her mother’s incessant lessons on propriety as training for deception before, but perhaps it was only dependent on what precisely the skills were used for.

“Hmm.”

“Has your uncle done or said anything in particular that makes you uneasy?”

Dimitri sighed. “Honestly it’s the speed in which he’s been able to curry favor with the high lords and work with them to roll back so many of the reforms my father made. But I suppose that so many of the high lords were against my father’s reforms in the first place, so they see all that has happened as just recompense.”

Kat squeezed his hand.

“What upsets me the most is the way that he is willing to scapegoat Duscur for regicide. We offered them peace and they _trusted_ us, Rain. And now the fear and hate of the Kingdom, possibly of the entirety of Fodlan has been unleashed upon them. How will my word, the word of House Blaiddyd mean anything to anyone now?”

“But Mitya, _you_ are not your uncle. Surely the rest of the country knows this.”

“That may be the case, but I am a Blaiddyd and that seems to be all anyone sees. I am my father’s son, born with the crest of Blaiddyd. Little else matters.”

“Not to me,” she insisted, squeezing his hand tightly. “You are a person, please don’t forget that. Regardless of how everyone else sees you or treats you, remember that you are an individual separate from your family and your crest.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Thank you, Rain. I will try to remember this.” When he looked back up at her, there was a fire in his eyes. “There’s only one way to solve this. I _have_ to know what really happened in Duscur. I need to learn who was truly responsible.”

Kat tensed, a question she had thought of since the moment she had learned he was alive, but had been afraid to ask finally spilling from her lips. “Do… do you think they will come after you?”

“I’m not sure. I’m still not sure as to what their goal was exactly, what they stood to gain from killing my father.”

“Mitya… If something were to happen to you…”

“Please do not be concerned with me,” he said, shaking his head.

“How can you say that?!” Tears sprung to her eyes. It had been the thing that haunted her dreams since her father told her what transpired in Duscur and here he was treating her feelings with such indifference.

“Rain!” Dimitri leaned forward across the small table, carefully cradling her face in his hands. “Please, do not cry.” He brushed away the tears as they began to fall.

“Mitya… I already almost lost you once. I don’t know what I would do without you. I don’t want to know.”

“Rain… However long it takes, I am going to find the killers and make them pay for every drop of blood they spilled. This path will be a dangerous one, a bloody one. And yet, I _must_ walk it.” He gave her a desperate look, trying to will her to understand. “That being said, I will not hold it against you if you want to leave. As a matter of fact, I would encourage it.”

She scooted back out of his reach. “You are encouraging me to leave you?”

“I don’t want to see you hurt… or even worse. My heart could not handle it.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “And what of _my_ heart?”

“Rain…”

“I have told you time and again and I suppose I will tell you yet again. _I_. _Am_. _Yours_. I will _always_ be here for you, however you need me. If you must walk down this dangerous, bloody path, then I will walk at your side. You _don’t_ have to do it alone.”

“Rain…” he said again.

“And don’t you _dare_ even think about hiding this from me. _Any_ of it.”

He nodded, staring down at the table like an admonished child.

“Do you really doubt my love for you that much?” Her tone was no longer angry or commanding, only sad.

His eyes returned to hers. “I… I find it hard to believe sometimes,” he admitted.

She looked away, vision blurred by more tears. She felt selfish, but she had tried _so hard_ to reassure him, only for it to fail.

“Rain,” he said softly, suddenly kneeling in front of her. She looked down at him, surprised. He pulled her hands from her body, holding them in his own. “I think you misunderstand… I’ve never been good at expressing myself and I truly apologize for that.” He pressed his warm, soft lips against the backs of her hands. “I’m not saying that I don’t believe you, that I don’t believe your words. It’s just… hard for me to believe that someone like you could care so deeply for me. I don’t feel as if I’m worth it.”

“You’re quite foolish if that’s what you think.”

“Perhaps,” he said, continuing to kiss her hands. “But I think of myself as selfish, keeping your love for myself.”

“What if we ran away?” she asked suddenly. “Leave this all behind and start a new life.” It was a crazy idea, but maybe if she was with him every day he would realize how much she cared for him. Maybe if he was away from this castle filled with reminders of his father and all that he had lost, away from his uncle…

He looked up at her surprised, and then slowly shook his head. “It’s tempting, but I can’t… My father needs me to do this,” he said softly. His eyes were drawn to something behind her and she looked over her shoulder, half expecting to find someone standing there.

“Then how can I help?” she asked.

He blinked several times, eyes focusing on her again. “I’m not entirely sure,” he admitted. “Just knowing that you believe me is a huge relief,” he added with a small smile.

His hair was falling into his face and she pulled one of her hands from him, using it to push his hair back. He leaned into her touch, sighing softly.

Kat could count the number of times they had kissed on one hand with fingers to spare. Each of these kisses had been nothing more than a gentle, brief press of lips against lips. She leaned down to him now, hoping for another of these exchanges, but a moment after her lips touched his, he leaned into her.

Dimitri’s bottom lip pushed between hers and she shivered as their kisses turned into something _more_. Warmth filled her and she wanted to pull him closer, to never stop this, but as quickly as it had begun, it ended.

“I’m sorry, Rain,” Dimitri said, breaking away from her. “This is inappropriate. You should probably… go…”

He seemed so hesitant as if the words pained him. She knew he was right… at least her mother would say so. But it didn’t _feel_ wrong. They were engaged. Why shouldn’t they kiss? Why shouldn’t they be afforded some privacy?

She bit her lip, swollen from the sudden attack, and noticed his clenched fists. Surely he was feeling the same way? “Does it feel wrong to you?”

He looked up at her, surprised. “Everything feels wrong,” he admitted.

She felt herself deflate, all of the previous joy seeping from her. She tried to take a deep breath to steady herself, but it caught halfway and she found herself holding back tears again.

“Everything except for you,” he continued. He took her hand, bringing it back to his lips. “Please don’t misunderstand. I don’t want you to go… but you should.” He held her hand against his cheek and sighed. “Everything feels numb, dull, muted. The only time I feel right is when I’m with you.”

She lifted her other hand to his face. “Everything will be right again. We’ll make it right… together.”

“Together,” he murmured, melting against her and allowing a single, chaste kiss. “But you should go to bed.” He took her hand again and led her to his door.

“Wait, Mitya… There’s something I should mention.” She had been hesitant to tell him about this, not sure if it meant anything. “I don’t know if it’s important at all, but I went to the chapel in town.” She had never been very pious, and it seemed quite unbecoming of the future queen of the _Holy_ Kingdom of Faerghus. But she had gone to the chapel hoping to pray for Dimitri and all that had died after Duscur. For her father and the stress he had been under lately. For guidance.

“One of the bishops took interest in me and asked me quite a few questions about you once he realized who I was.”

“What kind of questions?”

“It started out fairly innocent, like asking about your well-being. But the questions seemed to become more and more probing. Eventually he was asking about your feelings on the Duscur people and how much you knew about what happened. It might mean nothing, but…”

“The Western Church has jurisdiction in your territory, correct?”

Kat nodded.

“I’ve heard… rumors. About how they do not trust the Central Church and challenge the Archbishop. Perhaps that extends to me due to the history of the close relationship between the Central Church and the rulers of Faerghus.”

Kat swallowed hard. “The church also executed one of the lord’s sons in our territory for being involved in Duscur.”

“I heard about that. Christophe, was it?”

Kat nodded. “I knew him.”

“I’m sorry, Kat. There has been so much death in my name.”

“But it isn’t your fault.”

“Perhaps not. But I think it would be wise to be wary of the Western Church. Perhaps even the Central Church as well. Please be careful if you return to that chapel.”

“I didn’t tell them anything. I pretended like we had not been able to speak.”

“Thank you. I worry for you sometimes, being so far away from me.”

Kat chuckled. “I feel the same way about you.”

He shook his head. “I can defend myself… Speaking of which…” He turned and walked to his wardrobe, digging for something.

“Mitya?” Kat asked curiously.

“This probably isn’t the type of gift one would expect or even wish to receive from their betrothed, but, please know that I give it with the most noble of intentions.” He placed a dagger with a blue and gold handle into her hands. “I want you to be able to protect yourself when I am not there.”

“It is common practice in the Kingdom to gift daggers to those you care for, isn’t it?” Kat asked, staring down at the blade.

“Yes… I’m surprised you know about that. They’re considered to be a tool of destiny, a way to cut a path to a better future.”

“Let’s cut that path together, then.”

He smiled at her. “Yes, let’s.”

One more chaste kiss and she made her way back to her room, dagger hidden in her boot.

Back in her room, Kat sat on her bed and stared at the dagger, turning it over in her hands again and again. There was more going on than she had originally thought and more than ever she was worried for Dimitri. And yet here he was, worrying about _her_.

She sighed, getting up to change clothes. She glanced out the window, surprised to see Dimitri sitting on a bench in the small courtyard her room overlooked. His arms were crossed and he appeared to be arguing with someone. She wondered who must be just outside of her view.

Concerned, Kat continued to watch. Eventually Dimitri held his head in his hands, clearly frustrated. Feeling more and more uneasy, she was about to run to find him when he stood and left. She continued watching, hoping to see whomever he was speaking with, but nobody appeared.

“Father,” Kat asked once their carriage had left Fhirdiad. “Is it safe to speak freely?”

Lord Byron thought a moment before nodding. “It is only us and our driver, whom I trust, although he shouldn’t be able to hear.”

Kat stared out the window as she spoke. “I’m worried about Dimitri’s safety and well-being. Is Lord Rufus to be trusted?”

“No. Not under any circumstance. But I don’t believe he was involved directly in Duscur and I don’t think he will harm his nephew.”

Kat swallowed hard, nodding. “I would like to be able to check in on him more often. But it appears that Lord Rufus has been trying to keep us apart for whatever reason.” She turned to her father and cautiously asked, “is there something you can do about that?”

Lord Byron sat thinking a moment.

“I think it would be helpful for His Highness and Katerina to see each other more often,” Lady Byron added. “The poor boy must be suffering after all that he has been through. It does him no good to sit in that castle with only that awful man.”

“I’m sure he has others he can confide in,” Lord Byron argued.

Kat shook her head. “I would not make that assumption, father. Even the staff appears to be spying for Lord Rufus.”

“If you can manage to not offend Lord Rufus, I think I may be able to ensure that we are invited to Fhirdiad at least once a year. Perhaps more often.”

Kat sighed. “Even after we turn sixteen and our courtship officially begins?”

“Perhaps Lord Rufus will be more open to the prince visiting us by then.”

“That’s still over a year away, Katerina,” her mother reminded her. “You should be grateful you’ve gotten this far.”

Kat nodded, reluctantly accepting the truth of the statement. Once a year was better than never, she supposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The look on Dimitri’s face at the very beginning is basically the look pre-ts Dimitri has in FEH
> 
> -Dedue might seem a bit different than we’re all used to because he’s still learning what it means to be a vassal. He’s still working on his propriety and properly addressing Dimitri, which is why he switches back and forth. His spirit hasn’t been completely wittled down by racist @$$holes so he isn’t as keen to immediately push people away.
> 
> -I have no idea how the layouts of castles work so I just tried to make it seem big and complicated, which is probably how it feels to Kat.
> 
> -Dimitri retrieved a very important object, but unfortunately (for you and Kat) it will not be revealed for a long time. It’s worth the wait, though. :)
> 
> -If you’re curious, the events with Edelgard did happen. There’s a reason she has not been mentioned that will be explored later when Dimitri and Kat (very awkwardly) run into her at the Academy


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters circa 1177
> 
> Dimitri gets dark and Kat gets snark(y)

_Horsebow Moon, 1177_

Rain,

It’s only been a few weeks since I saw you last and yet I already wish I could see you again. I can’t help but wonder if this is why our parents wanted to delay our initial meeting. Perhaps they foresaw the rarity of our visits and knew it would be difficult for us to be apart.

My father once mentioned that it was my mother who insisted on these rules. I meant to ask more, but… we ran out of time. I thought that I would have the chance to ask him so many things. What I wouldn’t give for his advice now.

Dedue has been pouring through the books you brought. We found some spare planters and brought them up to my room to place on the balcony. As much as it pains me to say, I think it is for the best that he maintains some distance from others. He is already preparing to plant some winter plants.

I had never thought much about growing plants, only ever enjoyed the fruits of your labors. I am now learning the extent of the thought, planning, hard work, and care that goes into it. I remember you mentioned that you started gardening in one of our earliest letters. I am impressed that you began cultivating this skill at such a young age. I did not have the patience nor the focus for most things back then.

I want to thank you again for your kindness towards Dedue. It was quite thoughtful of you to bring those books. I wish there was more I could do to change the opinion of others, but alas. If only everyone could be as kind as you, Rain.

I hope to see you again soon.

Yours,  
Mitya

_Wyvern Moon, 1177_

Mitya,

It’s so rare to hear you speak of your mother. I often wonder what she was like. I only met your stepmother the one time and I was a little too preoccupied to really learn much about her. There were things I had wished to discuss with her as well; but as you said, we ran out of time.

I am pleased that Dedue is making good use of the books I brought. I specifically looked for books that would include winter planting due to the climate of Fhirdiad as well as the lateness of the season. Winter gardening is a little limited, but not impossible.

I wish people were able to view others as individuals instead of seeing race or crests or bloodlines. It is much like what we discussed when I last visited. I hope you are remembering that you are Dimitri and not just a Blaiddyd.

Speaking of my recent visit, I have been thinking much about what we discussed. I hope that your research is going well? Unfortunately I myself have not learned much. I think I will visit the chapel in town again and pray on it.

I found some chamomile growing in our garden already. I’m enclosing a pressing I made of the flowers. I took some to grow in my own patch as well. I really do not deserve your praise as far as gardening goes. My earliest forays were simply planting seeds and seeing what happened. It really hasn’t been until the past year or so that I have begun to take it more seriously.

I miss you, my Mitya. I am hoping that we will be able to see each other more, but it seems all I can guarantee is once a year. My mother reminds me to be grateful since we shouldn’t even get the time we do now. Regardless, I still find myself staring at the horizon towards you each evening as the sun sets and wishing we were together.

Yours,  
Rain

_Red Wolf Moon, 1177_

Rain,

Please promise me that you are being careful. I know that you want to help, but please do not purposefully put yourself in danger. That being said, unfortunately my research is not progressing as fast as I would hope. I fear that there is a much larger, much more tangled web than I initially thought. The answers I seek may not be simple ones.

Onto a lighter topic, you are correct. Chamomile is indeed a lovely flower. I never thought tea would be so pretty. Dedue has taken to placing fresh flowers in my room and while they are lovely, I honestly prefer your pressed ones. I don’t have to worry about them wilting. Too often I fall asleep to a beautiful bouquet and wake up to one near-death. It reminds me just how fleeting life can be.

I, too, often wonder about my birth mother. I know very little about her. Father found it difficult to speak of her. It’s clear that he cared for her very deeply. Perhaps I will ask Rodrigue about her when he visits next. Unfortunately his visits have become just as rare as your own.

My stepmother spent most of her days knitting. She was often kind to me, though she did have days when she could be cold. I’m sure we all have days like that, though. We frequently had tea together, and she typically didn’t get too upset when I cracked the china. She learned early on not to use the nicest of her china when having tea with me.

It started snowing today, which made me think of you. I can’t believe it’s been almost three years since my thirteenth birthday party. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it, especially the look on your face when it started snowing. It can get quite cold here in Fhirdiad… I hope that will not bother you. I sometimes worry that you will not like living here. You seem like the type of person who belongs in the bright light of the warm sun.

I have started eying the horizon in the evenings since reading your last letter. It sounds a little silly, but it makes me feel closer to you. I hope to see you soon.

Yours,  
Mitya

_Ethereal Moon, 1177_

Mitya,

Happy birth month to the both of us! We are now only a year away from when our official courtship was to begin. I find it hard to fathom not being able to know you for another entire year. Too much has happened in the short time we have known each other and I believe it has made our relationship stronger as a result.

I tried my hand at making tea with the chamomile I found growing. I hope you enjoy it. I read that chamomile is supposed to be relaxing and assist with sleep, which reminded me of something that mage I met said. She mentioned that you have insomnia? I hope this tea can help and I also hope that you know you can tell me about such things.

Speaking of that mage, I have been thinking of how I came to meet her. I find it interesting that she happened to be in that hall when I thought it was a restricted area? Perhaps it is nothing.

You make it sound as though Fhirdiad is located in a dark, underground cave. I hope you remember that I have actually been there and I find it beautiful. I don’t actually care much for the heat. It can get quite warm and humid here in the summer. I suppose since I enjoy gardening I can see how you might think that I enjoy being in the sun, but if you remember my skin is quite fair and therefore burns easily. I spend most of my time in the garden in the early hours before the sun has the chance to assault me. Though, I would understand if you forgot what I look like (I do hope you know I am teasing, Mitya).

I have always been an early riser, often awaking before the sun. It bothered my mother when I was small because I was always awake before her. I suppose that is when I started to learn to act more independently. I had to entertain myself while everyone was still asleep.

The sun will be setting soon, so I will wrap this up so I can go sit on my balcony and watch the horizon. You doing the same does not sound silly to me at all, as a matter of fact, it makes my evenings feel much less forlorn.

I am sure we will see each other soon.

Yours,  
Rain

_Guardian Moon, 1177_

Rain,

Your tea has been an absolute delight. I have had a cup of it each night before bed and it is quite potent. I wonder if you would be opposed to making more? If it is not too much trouble, of course. And please do not worry about my sleeping habits.

I have news. Felix came to visit for my birthday last month. It was a relief to see him again. I tried to offer my condolences for Glenn, but he would not hear of it. He seems to have adopted many of Glenn’s traits in his absence. I think I mentioned to you before that Glenn and I spent most of our time arguing? I regret to inform you that Felix and I spent the majority of his visit doing much the same.

In between arguments, Felix informed me that he visited Ingrid. She is having a difficult time. Perhaps I should leave it at that.

I am worried about them both, as well as Sylvain. I can’t help but remember how carefree we used to be, how we would spend our days laughing. Those days seem like a lifetime ago now. Perhaps this is simply part of growing up. We are fifteen now, so close to adulthood. In many ways, we are already there. Ingrid and Glenn were to be wed next year, shortly after she turned sixteen.

Your insight regarding that mage is correct, I did not think much on it at the time. I will be sure to followup on this. Thank you for your assistance. Please continue to exercise caution. I know the kingdom is still in turmoil even though over a year has passed since my father’s death. I hope things will settle down soon, though I fear the worst.

I hope to see you again soon.

Yours,  
Mitya

_Pegasus Moon, 1177_

Mitya,

Please never be afraid to ask me for things. I would give you anything in my power. I will definitely be planting more chamomile so I can send you as much tea as you desire. I am glad that you like it so much.

I’m glad you finally got to see Felix, though I am not sure what to make of you arguing the entire time. I know you said that was just how your relationship with Glenn was, but perhaps it shouldn’t be how things are with Felix? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be admonishing you. I know how difficult Felix can be.

I know that you are worried about your friends, but please don’t forget about yourself. That might sound selfish, but you have to remember that you are also in pain, as much as you try to hide it. I am sure that in time you will all be able to laugh together again. I hope I can also join in.

It is currently storming outside and I worry for the plants I put into the ground recently. I wonder if you get many storms in Fhirdiad? Your birthday was enough to show me how different the weather can be. Tempests like these can be frightening, but there is a beauty to them. Much like the snow is beautiful, but can be dangerous. These storms may be the one thing I miss when I move to Fhirdiad, though I’m sure my plants do not share my feelings.

It is such an odd thing to think of, me moving to Fhirdiad. I am desperate to spend more than the handful of days I have there but in just a few years I will be spending every single one of my days there. It seems so soon and yet so far away all at once. It’s terrifying to think of leaving all I know behind, yet I look forward to spending my days with you.

I will at least be spending one of my days with you soon, I’m sure of it.

Yours,  
Rain

_Lone Moon, 1177_

Rain,

I hope you know that your statement applies to yourself as well. I would give you anything in my power. You need only request it and it shall be yours.

I want to do everything I can to make Fhirdiad your home when the time comes. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to start preparing it for you. I know it is difficult to plan such things now when you haven’t even seen it all. I am sure you will have many decrees once you are here to stay. I keep meaning to show you the gardens, but we always have such little time together and the time of year never seems to be appropriate.

There are many places and things I want to show you here. I’m sure I will in time. In the winter, in particular, there are some locations that can become quite buried in snow and ice. Like you said, it can be quite dangerous, but it’s also beautiful. I am also quite partial to how Fhirdiad looks covered in ice and snow.

I don’t believe we get storms like you are used to. There is the occasional blizzard. I have heard of the tempests that terrorize the western reaches of Faerghus. I hope that these are not the types of storms you have to deal with. They sound absolutely horrid.

I am trying to make Fhirdiad home for Dedue as well, but he can be quite obstinate. He insists that he needs nothing other than the most basic of necessities. I would feel better if he would simply tell me what I can do to help. Then again, maybe there is nothing I can do. For now, I will focus on changing public opinion on the Duscur people, though I’m sure that will take a long time.

I am hoping we can see each other soon.

Yours,  
Mitya

_Great Tree Moon, 1178_

Mitya,

We will be on our way to you soon!

I am so looking forward to seeing everything you want to show me through the years. We’ll get to the gardens eventually, I’m not worried.

There is one thing - When I spoke with Dedue, he mentioned there is a greenhouse in disrepair. I hope that you will help him fix it up when you have the chance? I know that you are quite busy right now. I think it will be beneficial to both he and I.

It is difficult to write when I know I will be seeing you soon, so I will keep this short. I can’t wait to see you!

Yours,  
Rain

(Castle Fhirdiad in winter:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hesitant on whether or not to do another set of letters in between these two visits, but the flow of the story felt abrupt without them.  
> The next visit is fairly eventful and things kind of ramp up after this as well so… buckle up, I guess. 
> 
> Also I get the vibe from Dimitri that since he doesn’t really have any hobbies himself (see A support with Mercedes) he’s 110% invested in his friend’s hobbies and seeing them passionate about them makes him passionate which is why he’s into Kat’s gardening and flowers even if he himself doesn’t seem like the type who would be interested.
> 
> Also also, the images are of Chateau de la Mothe-Chandeniers in France. I saw a picture of this on Twitter a while back and was like OMG THAT’S TOTALLY FHIRDIAD.
> 
> *note - looking back at Ingrid’s personal history it looks like she’s been engaged to Glenn since her birth.  
> I pushed this back because a- I didn’t notice this until now, and b- I liked the joke that Felix didn’t understand what engaged meant when he first met Kat.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some stuff goes down in this chapter resulting in some content warnings for the first time:  
> -RACISM, including slurs. Is slurs the right word? Perhaps not. Regardless of the semantics, nasty things will be said about a race of people and there will be a small attack against a poc.  
> -Things between Dimitri and Kat will get a bit steamy for a brief moment.  
> -And we’ll round it all out with an implied sexual assault close call.  
> -If Dimitri was tagging this, he’d include body horror, but I wouldn’t go that far. Kat does get to see one of his scars, and it is a pretty nasty one. 
> 
> If you'd like a song to go with this chapter, might I suggest Florence + the Machine's "100 Years" for Kat and Slipknot's "Circle" for Dimitri.

_Great Tree Moon, 1178_

  


“Lord Rufus,” Kat asked upon her family’s arrival in Fhirdiad, “where is Dimitri? Is he well?” She was originally disappointed that he hadn’t been there to greet her, but now she was beginning to worry. It had been so long since she had seen him last and some of their conversations had been worrying.

“Of course,” Rufus told her. “I believe he’s still training. You arrived a bit earlier than expected.”

“If you don’t mind pointing me in the right direction, I would like to greet him as soon as possible.” He was the reason she was here, after all. 

“Katerina,” her mother scolded, “you know that you should not be with him unaccompanied.” Kat suppressed an eye roll.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” Rufus said with a frown. “That Duscur boy never leaves his side.”

“I’m not sure you should be spending time with a Duscur boy either,” her mother added haughtily.

“Mother!” Kat exclaimed in surprise. She had not heard either of her parents speak ill of the Duscur people before, so to start now surprised her. “He has pledged his fealty to Dimitri. What more must he do in order to gain your trust?”

“Perhaps I should open the castle to _all_ of those Duscur beasts?” Rufus suggested, eying her carefully.

Lord Byron gripped his daughter’s arm tightly before she could react. “I’m certain that’s not what my daughter was inferring. Perhaps we should head inside and discuss the report from Count Rowe I brought?”

Kat swallowed hard, smiling as politely as she could at Rufus. Just the mention of Count Rowe’s name was enough to send a chill down her spine. She had accompanied her father on his latest visit to the Count and it had ended in shouting and threats. She’d had trouble sleeping since and her father had begun drinking every evening, his words becoming more and more cryptic.

“Ah, yes, Count Rowe. I hope he is well?” Rufus asked with a smile.

“Of course.”

Rufus gave Kat directions before turning to lead her parents inside. Her father gripped her arm tighter when she tried to leave, leaning his face down close to her ear. “You may sympathize with the people of Duscur all you want, but this is not the time nor the place. You need to watch what you say out loud, _especially_ here.”

Kat nodded. “Yes, Father.” It had become her most used phrase, one she had quickly learned to use especially when he had been drinking.

“Be careful,” he added before releasing her arm and following Rufus inside.

Kat took a moment to compose herself, gripping her fists and taking deep breaths until her hands stopped shaking. She could already tell her arm was going to bruise.

She squared her shoulders and straightened her back, following Rufus’ directions until she found the castle’s training grounds. She leaned against a pillar to silently watch Dimitri spar with Dedue.

Kat had never seen him fight before, and it was an interesting spectacle. He was an aggressive combatant, performing powerful attacks that often left him wide open. She frowned, hoping that outside of sparring he would take more care to defend himself.

Dedue noticed her first, faltering in his own defense. Dimitri noticed his misstep at the last second, sidestepping so his lance glanced off of Dedue’s axe instead of hitting straight on. In the awkwardness of the movement, his crest activated and the wooden lance shattered in his hand. Kat’s eyes widened, mystified by the raw power she had heard so much about but never seen firsthand.

“I’m so sorry, Dedue. Are you alright?” Dimitri asked.

“Of course,” Dedue replied.

“It was my fault,” Kat spoke up.

Dimitri spun, a relieved smile on his face when he saw her. The shattered remnants of the lance in his hand fell to the floor and he rushed to her.

"You're early," he said, gathering her hands into his.

"That's what I keep hearing. Now hold still," she said with a smile. She leaned forward and gently kissed his cheek. "I've missed you, my Mitya."

"I'm so glad you're finally here," he said, gently squeezing her hands.

"It's nice to see you too, Dedue," Kat said, peering around Dimitri.

"And you as well, Lady Katerina."

"Kat," she reminded him.

Dedue nodded. "Of course."

Kat chuckled. "Please, don't let me interrupt you," she said to the boys.

"I think we were about done for the day, wouldn't you say so, Dedue?" Dimitri asked.

"I agree."

“Then will you teach me?” Kat asked shyly.

“Oh, Kat,” he said with a frown. “You… aren’t dressed properly.”

“Perhaps not,” she admitted. “But you know as well as I do that things can happen at the most unexpected times.”

His frown deepened.

“So I don’t think that my dress is really what’s stopping you, is it?”

He hesitated. “The thought of you being in such a situation in which you need to know _how_ to fight terrifies me,” he admitted. “I’ll always protect you… isn’t that enough?”

“Well, if you’re too busy protecting me, then who will protect you?” she asked stubbornly.

“I will,” Dedue spoke up.

Kat frowned at him. “Then who will protect _you_?”

“My life does not matter.”

“Dedue…” Dimitri said sadly.

“Nonsense!” Kat said before he could say more. “Your life is just as important as mine. Don’t you _ever_ think otherwise.”

Dimitri smiled at her, a look on his face that seemed some mixture of pride and devotion. “She’s absolutely right, my friend,” he said.

Dedue huffed, but did not argue further.

“So…” Kat said, turning back to Dimitri.

“I will teach you,” he agreed. “But perhaps not today? I’d rather not spend what precious time we have together on such a grueling task.”

She sighed. “I suppose you’re right. Maybe eventually I’ll get more than half a day to spend with you.”

Dimitri smiled sadly at her. “I wish…” he trailed off, then shook his head. “Never mind.”

Before she could ask what he was going to say, he changed the subject. “There’s something different about you,” he noted, taking a step back and eying her carefully.

“I think I’m taller,” Kat suggested, standing up straighter. He was only a few inches taller than her now.

“No, it’s something else. Something with your face… or your hair maybe? Did you cut your hair?”

She shook her head. “No more than usual.”

“It’s styled differently,” Dedue spoke up. “It’s usually pulled back, or at least it has been the few times I’ve seen her.”

“Ah, yes!” Dimitri said. “Good eye, Dedue. That’s it. You usually pull your hair away so we can all see your beautiful face.” He tried to push her thick hair back behind her ear but it stubbornly popped back out. 

“Oh,” Kat said with a frown. “My hair clip finally broke.”

“The one that I gave you?”

She nodded sadly.

“I’m impressed that it has lasted this long. Perhaps instead of going for a ride today we can make a trip into town and look for a replacement?”

“Oh, please do not trouble yourself.”

“It’s no trouble at all. The town is on my list of places to show you.”

Kat smiled at him. “This _will_ be my home in less than three years now. I suppose I should start familiarizing myself with its surroundings.”

  


Kat, Dimitri, and Dedue walked through the streets of the Fhirdiad marketplace, a pair of Kingdom soldiers following at a distance.

“If you see anything at all you’d like, please tell me,” Dimitri told her. She paused to touch fabrics and take a closer look at many items, but did not feel the need to purchase anything. She had everything she needed, especially now with Dimitri’s hand clasping her own.

Kat noticed people staring and remembered the attention at Dimitri’s 13th birthday party. She figured it must be rare to see the prince out and about, and even rarer to see him with a girl on his arm. She tried to smile at everyone, to try and ease their minds as much as her own, especially when she noticed them frowning, averting their eyes quickly, or even glaring in a few cases.

How strange it must be to them, to know this stranger would be their queen someday. They had watched Dimitri grow up, but Kat was basically a foreigner, her house barely in Faerghus at all.

They found the stall that sold the hair clips, the merchant a friendly old man who tried to refuse Dimitri’s gold. He reluctantly agreed after several moments of Dimitri refusing to take the replacement clip for free, instead insisting that Kat pick out a second clip.

Dimitri sighed. “So you will still insist that we take something you worked hard to create without proper compensation?”

“Please, Your Highness,” the merchant argued. “Consider it a gift for our future queen.”

“Thank you,” Kat told him before Dimitri could argue further. “I think it is a fair compromise,” she told Dimitri, who sighed.

She let the shopkeeper’s daughter help her pull her hair back and affix the newest clip, one depicting the crest of Blaiddyd, before they continued on.

“Do you like my choice?” Kat asked, spinning in front of Dimitri.

“It’s lovely,” he said with a chuckle. “Although, I must warn you, eventually you will be so adorned with my crest that you may tire of it.”

“Nonsense,” she said, taking his hand again. “It’s a part of you and I am honored to wear it.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said, pulling her hand to his lips. “Now then, shall we head back?”

Kat nodded. “How has your… research been going?”

“Not well,” he admitted, lowering his voice. “It’s difficult for me to find information trapped in the castle all the time. I’m hoping to… be able to get away more soon.”

“Oh?” She wanted to ask more, but didn’t get the chance as a sudden commotion broke out.

Kat didn’t understand what had happened at first, only heard a “thwack” followed by Dedue’s “oh,” as he stumbled. She gasped, seeing the blood trickling down his face.

“Dedue!” she cried. She looked around confused, then realizing there was no longer a threat, she took his arm and pulled him into a nearby alley to sit on a barrel.

Dimitri’s face was full of anger and he began shouting, holding up the offending rock that must have been the cause of this all. “Who did this?” he demanded, looking around the street. Passersby ducked their heads, rushing away from the prince’s ire.

“Why are you just standing there?” he demanded of the guards who had been following them. “Find who did this!” The guards glanced at each other awkwardly before reluctantly leaving.

“Are you alright?” Kat asked Dedue. The other boy seemed stunned, looking around confused.

“Is… Dimi-His Highness alright?” he asked.

Kat glanced back at Dimitri who was glaring after the guards, his fists clenched tightly. “He’ll be fine. But _you’re_ bleeding.”

“Do not worry about me.”

“Dedue,” Dimitri said, coming up to them. “I will find the dastards who did this, I swear it. They will not go unpunished.”

“Please… do not concern yourself,” Dedue said with a frown.

Kat lifted her hand to cast a healing spell, but it was weak and barely seemed to make a difference. She sighed, frustrated at her lack of skill. It seemed no matter how hard she tried to work on her own, her healing magic was always going to be weak. All she wanted was to help, to protect those she cared for, but it just wasn’t enough.

She had begun to wonder if perhaps it wasn’t the magic. Perhaps it was her… perhaps _she_ simply wasn’t enough.

“Did you see who did it?” Dimitri demanded.

Dedue shook his head, wincing.

“And you?” he asked, turning towards Kat, who also shook her head.

“Dammit!” Dimitri shouted, causing both Dedue and Kat to wince.

“Maybe somebody on the street saw something,” Kat suggested.

“You think I didn’t already ask?” he snapped.

“You shouted at them,” she snapped back before his tone could hurt. “There’s a difference!”

“I don’t know how else to get through to them. You aren’t here, you don’t have to deal with this nonsense everyday,” he explained impatiently. “Can’t you heal him?”

“I _tried_ … it’s… I’m not…” she sighed, the words not coming out right. “Maybe we should just get him back to the castle,” she suggested, taking Dimitri’s arm.

“Not until those dastards are caught!” he said angrily. “If you aren’t going to help, then get out of the way,” he said, pulling his arm away from her.

Kat took a step back. She was in such a hurry to grow up and yet here she was, grasping at him like a whiny child. She had spent the past couple of years trying _so_ _hard_ and yet she was still the same helpless girl who stood by his bedside unable to do _anything_.

She looked around, still determined to find a way to help, and realized they were standing just outside a bar.

“I’ll be right back,” she told the boys. Dedue stared at her blankly and Dimitri didn’t seem to hear.

There were only a couple of patrons in the bar sitting alone and none of them looked up when she came in. “My friend has been injured,” she said to the man behind the counter. “May I please get a glass of water and a damp cloth for him?”

“It depends. Are you speaking of that Duscur beast?”

Kat tensed. “And if I am?”

“Then no. You can get out of my bar.”

Kat straightened her back, surprised at the audacity of this man, at the abject hatred in his eyes. Were these truly _her_ people, the people she was meant to rule over? Anger began to boil within her.

“I will _not_ leave and you _will_ provide me with what I requested!”

“On whose authority?” he challenged, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Katerina Ophelia Byron, fiance to His Royal Highness, Crown Prince Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd.” She had never invoked his name or their relationship in this way before. But what was the point of having power if you didn't use it when you needed it?

“I’d heard the prince was spending his time with a dog,” he grumbled. “I just didn’t think he’d be dumb enough to bring him into town.”

Kat frowned, realizing this was essentially her own fault. She hadn’t actually realized just how much hate the people of Faerghus, Fhirdiad in particular, held for the Duscur people. “I’d suggest you mind your tongue,” she snapped. “Calling your prince ‘dumb’ is a poor decision.”

“Nobody understands why the prince is keeping around one of the beasts who killed his own father,” he said, slamming the glass and rag down on the bar in front of her.

Kat bit her tongue, remembering her father’s words. Trying to convince this man of what Dimitri believed was going to be harder than convincing an inanimate object and likely to get them all in trouble. But she couldn’t stay silent. She tried a different approach, instead. “Is every single one of them guilty by birthright then? From the elderly on down to the smallest of children? By your logic, babies not old enough to lift a sword should be blamed for a tragedy neither you nor they know anything about, is that right?”

His frown deepened. “You are the one who knows nothing. Take these and go and remember you only got them because of your _own_ fancy noble birthright.”

Kat held his eyes as she took the items so he wouldn’t see her hands shaking.

Back outside, Kat handed the glass to Dedue who drank deeply. “Where did Dimitri go?” she asked him, dabbing at his injury with the cloth. She wiped the blood from his face and then held the cloth to the wound which was still slowly seeping blood.

“I think… he went to find the guards,” Dedue explained slowly.

Kat sighed, uncertain as to how to proceed. Dedue needed care, but the only place they could go was back to the castle. She was worried about Dimitri and he would likely be unhappy if they left without him. She’d never seen him so angry, had no idea he was even capable of such anger.

“We need to find him,” Dedue said.

She sighed again. Dedue was probably the only other person who would prioritize Dimitri. “You’re right,” she said reluctantly.

They didn’t have to go far, finding Dimitri in another alley a few blocks away. He leaned one hand against the stone wall, his other hand grasping his hair as he muttered to himself.

"Mitya," Kat said softly, pulling his hand from his hair.

He looked down at her, his eyes wild. They took a moment to focus on her. "Rain, I... I failed. Time and time again I try to make things right, only to fail."

"You didn't fail," she told him gently.

"They got away. So many people get away with doing horrid things and there's _nothing_ I can do about it." There was so much frustration in his voice. "Faerghus has become this rotten husk," he said with disgust. "There's so much work to be done and I can't do any of it right now. I don't even know where to start."

"Mitya... We'll figure it out together." She said the words, believed them even. But she didn't know where to start either. She had no idea how to help. What could she do, especially so far away?

Kat reached a hand to his face, remembering how it had comforted him the last time she was here. It seemed to work again and he finally let go of the wall, the brick that was under his hand crumbling to dust. He held her hand to his face, closing his eyes.

"You are my hope," Dimitri breathed. "My light and my warmth, Rain."

"Let's go back to the castle," she requested.

He nodded, reluctantly letting her hand fall from his face.

"I'm sorry for leaving you behind, Dedue," he said.

Dedue looked back at them, still seeming dazed.

Kat decided to try to heal him again. Maybe if she just concentrated harder... She lifted the hand that wasn't grasping Dimitri's firmly and cast the spell.

Dedue's expression cleared, the dazed look disappearing as his head finally stopped bleeding.

Kat breathed a sigh of relief and Dimitri kissed her temple. "You're wonderful, you know that?"

"Thank you, Lady Kat," Dedue said and she couldn’t help but smile. He’d _almost_ gotten her name right.

  


Kat paced her room that night, replaying the day's events. It had started to rain shortly after they returned, ruining any chances of further outdoor activities. Dimitri had taken Dedue back to his chambers to rest until dinner and had then excused himself quickly after dinner. Kat got the feeling he was avoiding her. 

When she thought she might wear a hole in the rug from her pacing, she snuck out of her room to walk through the silent castle. She wandered down the long hallway displaying portraits of kings and queens long past, studying each of them. Dimitri hadn't been lying about the "strong Blaiddyd genes." Almost every person depicted shared his blonde hair and blue eyes. Even the woman she assumed was his mother had long blonde curls. Her eyes were not blue, however, at least not in the painting. They were a green similar to Kat's own.

Lady Patricia's dark features contrasted strongly in her own portrait in the main hall next to King Lambert's. She wondered how Rufus felt, having to walk by this portrait of his brother every day. If crests weren't so highly valued in the Kingdom, the older Rufus would have been king instead of Lambert.

Kat continued on outside, sick of seeing these familiar faces. She couldn't help but wonder if her betrothal to Dimitri would have been canceled had she herself not been born with a crest. Would they have insisted that he marry someone of better status? She wasn't sure why it even mattered. Her crest was mostly useless. It was supposed to help with magic, but it was typically canceled out by her lack of skill.

Kat found herself in the small courtyard outside her window. The breeze was cool and she pulled her robe tightly around her, deciding to sit on the bench she had seen Dimitri on during her last visit.

There was still so much she needed to learn before becoming queen, but she had learned a big lesson today. 

Her focus had always been on Dimitri. What could she do to make _him_ happy? How could she strengthen and grow their relationship? 

She had never once taken the time to consider the rest of the people. Yes, she was betrothed to Dimitri and this was an important part of her future, but another important part was her future role. Not just as a wife, but as a queen. 

What did it truly mean to be the Queen of Faerghus? 

“Rain?”

Kat looked up to find Dimitri standing on the path she had just followed.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, taking a few steps towards her.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she explained. “I thought I’d go for a walk.”

“Ah,” he said with a small smile. “I’m also having trouble sleeping,” he admitted.

She remembered her visit after Duscur and wondered if he still had nightmares, but decided not to ask. “Insomnia?” she asked instead.

He shrugged. “May I join you?”

“Of course, Mitya.”

He sat on the bench next to her, further from her than she preferred. “It’s peaceful here,” he said after a moment. “I like to come here to think.”

“It’s a good place for that.”

“I'm glad I came across you here. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I was quite rude to you when you were only trying to help.”

“Oh, please do not apologize. You were frustrated and I was getting in the way.”

“It does not matter. I should never have spoken to you like that. I don’t want you to ever feel like your presence or your words are unwelcome.”

"Your words did hurt a little," she admitted. "And I wish you hadn't pulled away from me like you did. But it was a chaotic situation and neither of us were handling it well."

"I wish you hadn't had to see that side of Faerghus," he said sadly. “Or me.”

"I wish it didn't exist to begin with, but I'm glad I saw it. I can't help if I don't know the problem exists." She gave him a meaningful look and he looked down at his hands sheepishly. 

“After today I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to walk away. Between my crest, my behavior, and the state of Faerghus your future must seem ghastly. I would understand if you did not want to become the queen of such a place, to be forced into a future with me.”

“I wish you would stop trying to push me away,” Kat said with a frown, looking away and crossing her arms over her chest.

“It’s for your own good.”

“I don’t really care what you think is good for me,” she said angrily. “I’m beginning to wonder if the true reason you push me away is because _you_ don’t want me anymore.”

“Rain… Nothing could be further from the truth.” He shook his head. “I just can’t say anything right today.”

“I don’t think that’s true at all. I think you’re saying exactly what you mean. You wish to never see me again.”

“No!” he all but shouted. He leaned over and took her hands in his. “I wish I could see you every day, Rain. But I don’t want to burden you with my troubles.”

“Did we not express in our earliest letters about how we wished to share everything? That means the good _and_ the bad.”

“Yes, but I never expected that my burdens would become so… _excessive_.”

“It does not matter. _Please_ , stop saying such things to me. I am yours and I am going to be here for you no matter how ‘excessive’ your burdens become. I am tired of wasting time on these conversations.”

He smiled, pulling her hand to his lips. “Please accept my apologies. You are absolutely right. We are wasting the precious little time we have.”

“Your apologies are accepted,” she said with a pleased sigh and a smile. A cool breeze blew through the courtyard and she shivered. 

Dimitri released her hands and started unbuttoning his jacket. “The nights here are quite chilly, even in spring,” he commented. He draped his jacket over her shoulders before she could object. She sank into its warmth, grateful but wishing it were his arms around her instead.

She turned back towards him, her eyes catching on his now exposed arm. The sleeves of his top came down to his elbows, but the one closest to her had become askew when he took off his jacket, showing more of his toned upper arm. A deep scar ran along the skin, a thick vine of dark pink bright against his pale flesh.

His eyes widened when he noticed her gaze and he tried to pull down his sleeve quickly. A sliver of the scar still snaked out and Kat reached out to touch it gently.

“I’m sorry,” he said forlornly. “I had hoped you would never have to see.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Sounds like we’re going to have an interesting marriage.” She smiled as she watched even his ears turn red. The smile faded quickly, however, as her fingers trailed under his sleeve, following the line of the scar. His muscle flexed under her hand as he tensed, his arm trembling.

Her hand froze. “Am I hurting you?”

He shook his head, watching her hand. “I… I’m just not used to being touched, is all.”

She felt her eyebrows knit together, remembering the last time she was here and the way that he had held her hand against his face and throat, desperate for her touch, for the feel of her skin against his.

In comparison, she thought of the light, companionable touches she shared with so many people on a daily basis. The way her mother hugged her and the way she complained about it. The way Molly took her hand and they ran across the fields or down streets while giggling.

Who did Dimitri have? There was Dedue, but he didn’t seem like one to give away touches so easily.

Who was the last person to hug him? He kept himself so completely covered, unable to feel even the lightest of touches. He needed more, and if she was being honest, she _wanted_ more. She needed him in ways she didn’t quite understand and was sure that he felt the same.

“I’ve been thinking,” she said, dragging her fingers down his forearm.

He closed his eyes, shivering.

“The last time I was here, you mentioned you were worried about your strength, about hurting me.” She circled the edge of his glove. “Perhaps we should start practicing.”

His eyes flew open, wide with surprise and a hint of fear. She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. “That might not be a bad idea,” he admitted.

She smiled. “Good.” She started to pull on his glove and his other hand came to cover hers.

“Rain,” he protested in a strangled voice.

“I think it will be more effective if you aren’t wearing gloves.”

“Please,” he begged. “Not yet. It will be plenty effective _with_ gloves. I’m… I’m not ready for you to see my hands just yet.”

His expression was so desperate that she couldn’t help but reluctantly agree. “Alright,” she conceded, hoping she didn’t sound too disappointed. She shifted, pulling one leg onto the bench so she could face him fully.

He turned towards her as well, looking entirely uncertain. “How should I…” he raised his shaking hand towards her face. “I’m not sure how to do this.”

She wasn’t sure either, so she simply pulled his hand to her face. This wasn’t exactly what she had in mind, but she supposed that encouraging him to touch her was the first step. He rested his hand against the side of her face with barely any pressure, his thumb brushing gently over her cheekbone.

“Is this okay?” he whispered.

She nodded. “You can be a bit more firm.” 

He slowly applied more pressure against her skin until she said, “there.” After a moment, he pushed her hair back, his fingers following it down and around her ear, along her jawline, pausing at her chin. He tilted her chin up, his thumb brushing over her lips which parted at his touch.

“C-can I kiss you?”

“You don’t have to ask,” she breathed. He started to lean forward, but she placed a hand on his chest, stopping him. “But I do have a request.”

“Oh?”

“Kiss me the way you did the last time I was here.”

He nodded, both hands reaching to rest on her shoulders and pull her to him.

He did and he did not kiss her the way she requested. Last time had been an intense rush, a sudden desperation to get closer. This time was slow, each kiss deliberate and thought out. Instead of racing to the next, there was a pause as he repositioned his hands to cradle her face, to tilt it slightly for a different angle.

He did this a few times until he found one that seemed to satisfy him, and in the next kiss one of his hands slid down her arm, finding her own hand. He lowered his head to press an experimental kiss to her jaw, and then just below her ear, while she squeezed his hand tightly, her breaths coming quickly.

“Are you alright?” he asked, lifting back up.

She nodded quickly, lifting her free hand to his face. He closed his eyes, leaning into it. She gently coaxed him back to her, sighing as his lips found their way back to hers.

He tilted her face up again, his tongue slipping into her mouth and tentatively touching hers. She pushed back, her tongue less languid than his own. Their mouths moved together as warmth spread throughout her entire body. She had begun to throb in the most unexpected of places when Dimitri finally pulled back.

“Rain,” he whispered, panting a little. “We should probably stop.”

She sighed. She didn’t _want_ to, but knew he was right. The feelings growing within her were simultaneously terrifying and exciting. “I wish I knew when we’ll see each other again… when I’ll get to kiss you again.”

“We’re almost there,” he murmured, pushing her hair back. “Just a little longer and you’ll be stuck here with me.”

“Mitya…”

“I am simply teasing, my Rain.”

“You had better be.” She reluctantly let him pull her to her feet, holding tightly to his hand. “Wait, Mitya,” she said, tugging on his hand as they reached the edge of the courtyard. “I want to try one last thing.”

He turned to look at her curiously. “What is it?”

“Hold me,” she said as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

He hesitated, looking like he was about to argue, but then gave in. His arms wrapped around her with such gentleness she could hardly tell they were there. She slid her arms around his waist and pulled him closer, whispering, “tighter,” into his ear. 

He complied, holding her firmly against him. He sighed softly, finally relaxing against her and lowering his face to her shoulder. She couldn’t help but smile, feeling entirely encompassed by him. This was what she wanted. His head tilted to the side, his nose brushing against her throat, and then suddenly he buried his face in her neck. 

They stood like that for a long time, Kat perfectly content. She wished they could stay like this all night, she felt she could easily fall asleep against him. She closed her eyes, feeling herself relaxing further and further until finally he reluctantly pulled from her. 

Dimitri walked her back to her room slowly, whispering “good night,” into her ear after giving her a brief, but deep kiss. 

She leaned against the back of the door, smiling and wishing more than ever that they had _more time_. She wanted to explore more, to spend more time reassuring him and holding him. 

There was a soft knock on the door and she turned to open it quickly, expecting to see Dimitri again. 

But Rufus stood on the other side instead.

Kat took a step back, surprised. She realized she had made a grave error when he stepped forward. His eyes were glassy and he smelled even more strongly than usual of alcohol. Kat’s heart began to race in her chest. 

“Lord Rufus,” she said shakily. “What are you doing here?”

“Such a pretty girl,” he slurred. He reached out to touch her, but missed. 

Kat took another step back out of his reach. “I don’t think you should be here.”

“I am the king, that means I can do whatever I want. _Have_ whatever I want.”

Kat frowned at him, disgusted. “You’re only the regent. And I am not a thing to be had. You should leave.”

“Why does _he_ get everything?” he asked in a whiny tone. “Just like my spoiled brother.” His attitude quickly changed, making Kat’s head spin. “And _you_ are mouthy. Let’s see how well you can use that mouth of yours.” 

He reached forward again and Kat tried to step back again, but he managed to catch her wrist this time. Panic began to set in. She thought about taking out the dagger that was hidden in her boot, but that could be dangerous. If she accidentally killed him, she didn’t think that even Dimitri could save her. 

She glanced back at the window, wondering just how badly she would injure herself should she leap out it. A few broken bones perhaps? It seemed like a favorable alternative.

Instead, Kat opened her mouth to shout, had even sucked in a deep breath, but Rufus’ grip suddenly loosened, his hand falling to his side. He blinked at her several times in surprise before falling forward. 

Kat sidestepped to miss him as he clattered to the floor. She stared bewildered, then looked up to find Dedue standing in the doorway holding a large vase. 

“Dedue?” she whispered. 

“Is…” Dedue swallowed hard, his usually stoic face panicked. “Is he dead?”

Kat knelt down, feeling for Rufus’ pulse. It was slow but steady, much unlike her own racing one. “No. Just unconscious.” She looked around, frowning. “Help me with him,” she said, grabbing one of Rufus’ arms to try to lift him. 

Dedue grabbed the older man’s other arm and together they pulled him to his feet which dragged limply on the ground. “The room next door,” Kat instructed. She opened the door and they tossed him onto the bed unceremoniously.

“Thank you, Dedue,” she said, turning back to him. 

“Is it alright to just leave him here?” Dedue still looked panicked.

Kat nodded. “He’ll think he just passed out. He was clearly very drunk.”

“You speak as though you have experience with this sort of thing.”

She shrugged, avoiding the subject. “He didn’t see your face, so you have nothing to worry about.” They stepped back into the hall, closing the door quietly. “Thank you,” she said again. “I’m not sure what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up when you did.” Her hands began to shake as the fear began to set in.

“Should I go retrieve Dimitri?”

Kat shook her head. “No. I think we should keep this between us.”

Dedue’s eyes widened. “But his uncle…”

“Dimitri has enough to worry about right now. And nothing actually happened. I just know I need to be more careful from now on.” She remembered her mother’s words the first time they had come to a Rufus-led Fhirdiad. She had been so euphoric after her late night with Dimitri that she wasn’t thinking straight. 

Dedue hesitated, but nodded. “This is true. Dimitri has seemed more stressed than usual lately.”

“Things between Dimitri and Rufus are already strained. Knowing about this… I hate to imagine Dimitri’s reaction.”

Dedue nodded again. “I will trust your judgment, Lady Katerina.”

“Kat,” she reminded him. “What were you doing here, anyway?” she asked curiously.

“I was… keeping an eye on His Highness. I saw Rufus coming and so I decided to wait for him to pass.”

Kat eyed him. “And just how long have you been keeping an eye on _His Highness_ this evening?”

Dedue swallowed hard, his face reddening. “I am only concerned for his safety. As well as yours. I maintain such a distance that I do not hear your private conversations and I look away when you are… close.”

Kat frowned. “I am glad that you are looking out for Dimitri, but I would also appreciate it if you were to continue to respect our privacy.”

“Of course,” he said with a bow. “And I will leave you to your rest now.” She watched him move quickly down the hall, wondering which of them was more embarrassed. 

  


The next morning passed without incident. Rufus had dark circles under his eyes and rubbed his temple every few minutes during breakfast but said nothing of the night before. 

Kat squeezed Dimitri’s hands tightly as they stood near the front gates. “I wish I could hug you,” she whispered. 

“I fear I may be unable to let go again if you were in my arms,” he said, pulling one of her hands to his lips. 

“I’m not seeing a problem in that.”

Dimitri chuckled. “I am sure that we won’t have to wait nearly as long to see each other again.”

“Oh? Do you know something?” Kat asked hopefully.

“I have some… plans that may finally allow me to leave this place. If so, it’s likely I can make a detour to see you.”

She eyed him curiously. “Do you intend to elaborate on your mysterious plans?”

“Not at the moment, no,” he said, looking away and biting his lip. 

Kat followed his gaze, noticing Cornelia coming to stand near Rufus who was still speaking with Lord Byron. 

“I meant to ask,” Kat said, lowering her voice. “Were you able to learn anything about Cornelia?”

Dimitri shook his head. “It would seem they may be sharing a bed,” he said with a hint of disgust. 

Kat frowned. “Well, I suppose that does explain why she was in that hall.”

“I haven’t learned much of anything,” Dimitri said with a frown. “Have you been back to that church by chance?”

Kat nodded. “Unfortunately I didn’t learn much either.”

“Please be careful, regardless.”

“Of course… and you be careful as well. Please.”

Dimitri nodded, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. 

“Come along, Katerina,” Lord Byron called, heading towards their carriage. 

“I miss you already,” Kat said squeezing his hands again. 

“And I you,” Dimitri said, reluctantly letting go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this chapter when I was procrastinating the letters after Duscur upon realizing that there needed to be a ‘b’ between moments a (the last visit) and ‘c’ (the next time Kat and Dimitri see each other). It grew and grew and turned into a monster but I feel like the events that happened are important going forward.  
> I hope you noticed that there is a slight disconnect between the letters and the visits because that’s very much so on purpose. Both Kat & Dimitri are hiding things from each other, things that cannot be discussed via letter and things that they don’t want to worry the other with.  
> Anyway, the secrets will begin to spill faster and faster as time goes on.  
> And yes, I am knowingly creating a slight co-dependency that will be addressed when everything eventually goes terribly, terribly wrong. 
> 
> Next up will be a short smattering of letters before they see each other again under less than pleasant circumstances.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few frosty letters as we pass through warmer months...

_Verdant Rain Moon, 1178_

Rain,

My Rain... I hesitate writing this letter because I know you will be displeased by the contents even though I myself am overjoyed. I hate that we will have opposing feelings on this... But you must know that this is something that I have to do.

Starting tomorrow, I will begin accompanying the Royal Army on skirmishes that come up. Unfortunately these events have been happening more and more since my father's death. There are even rumors of rebellions.

I know that you will worry for my well-being, but I promise to be careful, to do everything I can to ensure that I return safely. As a matter of fact, I have procrastinated this letter for so long, that by the time you receive it I will have already returned home.

You must understand that this is something I need to do, for my kingdom... for my father.

Please forgive me.

Yours,  
Mitya  


  


_Horsebow Moon, 1178_

My Mitya,

You are correct. I am worried for your well-being. If something where to happen to you… I just don’t think you understand how that would upset me. I do not want to lose you. I know that I cannot stop you, and I honestly don’t want to, especially when you seem so passionate about the cause. I will only ask that you look after yourself. 

I will not lie, I was angry when I first read your letter, especially since you waited so long to send it. Please do not do that again. 

If this is something you feel you must do, then I will not object. But please take every precaution that you can. I am enclosing a talisman that I made. It’s nothing fancy, just a strip of cloth from one of my old dresses with some symbols of protection sewn on it. Sewing is not one of my strengths, but I hope that it protects you regardless. At the very least, you will have a piece of me with you. 

There is nothing more that I can say. 

Yours,  
Rain  


  


_Wyvern Moon, 1178_

Rain,

Please forgive my procrastination. I feared how you would react and as a result I acted out of cowardice. I am deeply ashamed by my behavior. 

Thank you for your talisman, it is lovely. I tie it around my wrist just under my glove each time I depart Fhirdiad.

You will be pleased to know that I have not yet seen any real combat. The battles I have attended have been able to be quelled before they begin or have been entirely too brief for my assistance to be required. 

However, this may not last long. There is unrest in the western reaches of the kingdom, a little too close to your territory than I am comfortable with. I hope that you understand that I want to be involved in these so I can protect the people of my kingdom, especially you. When there is danger near you, I will not hesitate to involve myself.

I fear for the future of Faerghus. It is frustrating that I am rendered so powerless simply because I am too young to take the throne. What little difference will the next two years make? 

Two years. In just over two years I will be crowned and we will be wed. Together, I still believe that we can regain the trust of the people and build a better Faerghus. 

I miss you, my Rain. I hope that you are not too displeased with me, though I fear it will not be the last time.

Yours,  
Mitya  


  


_Red Wolf Moon, 1178_

Mitya,

I know you were looking forward to being able to leave Fhirdiad and I am guessing this is why. While I am happy that you are able to leave, I wish it was under different circumstances. I wonder if you have been able to obtain any information regarding your research? 

I am pleased to know that you have not yet seen any combat. I can’t help but wonder how long it would take word to reach me if something were to happen to you. These are the things that plague my mind as I lie in bed unable to sleep. 

My father has spoken about the unrest in the west, albeit briefly. He tries to keep these types of things from me, much like you do. I wish you would both stop. I understand you wish to protect me, but it’s like I said the last time I was in Fhirdiad. How can I help if I don’t even know the problem exists? How can I even begin to know how to help if you keep secrets from me? All I want to do is help, I wish you would understand this. You are not the only one who feels powerless. 

Please keep yourself safe. I hope we can see each other again soon. 

Yours,  
Rain  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you might know what’s going to happen next. 
> 
> I’m not 100% sure how I want to approach the next chapter. I know what I want to happen, but I’m not sure how to write it if that makes any sense? So it might take me a little longer than usual. I’ve already rewritten what I have a few times…


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the Western Rebellion of 1178.
> 
> Eep, battle scene. How do?  
> CW: Canon-compliant violence, less than canon-compliant, really.

_Red Wolf Moon, 1178_

A pair of scouts in kingdom armor met Kat and the group she was traveling with at the edge of a forest in the western reaches of Faerghus. Ennea, the head of the Byron territory’s small army, dismounted to share words with the scouts that Kat did not hear as she was distracted by the scenery around her. 

They had rode northwest from Byron territory for about an hour. She could still see the tops of Arianrhod glistening in the sunlight to the east, and just in the distance further west she could see the edges of what she assumed to be Lake Teutates.

"Lady Katerina," Ennea scolded. 

Kat's attention snapped back to the knight. "My apologies," she said. She noticed one of the scouts had disappeared. "What happened?" she asked, swallowing her chagrin.

Ennea sighed. "I'm beginning to wonder if letting you come along was such a good idea."

"But you didn't, remember?” Kat said with a devious smile. “I snuck out and followed you."

"Of course," Ennea said with an eye roll.

Upon hearing of the western rebellion’s commencement, Lord Byron had ordered what few troops he could spare to join the Kingdom's suppression. Kat had begged to accompany them, partially to prove herself and partially because she knew Dimitri would be here. Her father had of course forbidden she step one foot outside of their territory. He had then disappeared into his office.

"Kat, I know you're worried but a battlefield is no place for a future queen," Lady Byron had tried to console her. This had the opposite effect.

"But it _is_ the correct place for a future king?" she argued, stomping towards her room.

"Kings and queens have different roles to play," Lady Byron reminded her.

"Yes, and I'm still not clear on what mine is, exactly, mother. I want to help, I want to protect him, to help protect everyone! Why is that so wrong?"

Her mother sighed as Kat began to dig through her wardrobe. “It’s not wrong,” she admitted. “But there have to be other ways you can help.”

"I'm going," Kat decreed, pulling on her riding gear. "Neither you nor father can stop me."

"Katerina!" her mother shouted after her as she headed downstairs, hurriedly braiding her hair.

She spun on her heel just outside the front door, fastening the braid. "Hush, mother, lest you incur father's wrath. I heard the telltale pour. It will be another late night for him. By the time he returns to himself I will have returned."

Ennea, on the other hand, had been more easily persuaded. She had recently been promoted to head of the small Byron army, which spent the majority of their time protecting the town from the occasional bandit attack or assisting with local disputes before they turned violent. 

Lord Byron had been slowly adding to their numbers, keeping the troops on standby “due to the growing unrest in the Kingdom since the King's untimely demise.” Kat had a feeling there was more to it, possibly something to do with that disastrous meeting with Count Rowe nearly a year ago now.

“Yours will be the first to fall,” Count Rowe had shouted after them as her father dragged her away. Those words still haunted her dreams.

Kat, constantly looking for someone to take her seriously when it came to combat training, had sought out Ennea once she had learned of the knight's promotion. The previous head of the army had been dismissive of her and had told the rest of his troops not to waste their time on her. Ennea was different, however, and upon seeing Kat's dedication, offered to train her when she had free time (which was unfortunately not often). Ennea had even let Kat assist with healing after a recent bandit raid. 

"We are approaching a battlefield," Ennea reminded Kat now. "You need to pay attention."

"Of course," Kat said. "I've just never been in this direction before."

"No excuses."

Kat nodded, blushing. This was not boding well so far and she was sure the rest of the troop definitely thought she shouldn't be there if they hadn't already. 

Three people approached on horseback dressed in kingdom armor. Kat recognized Dimitri's blonde hair shining in the sunlight immediately. Her heartbeat quickened and she reminded herself to remain professional as she felt a huge smile cross her face. It had been too long since she had seen him last. His own face was hard and serious as he dismounted in front of them.

Ennea bowed deeply. "Your Highness, I am Ennea Lindbeck of House Byron. Lord Byron has heard of the struggle and has sent the troops he can spare."

"House Byron?" Dimitri asked. "How unexpected. But I do appreciate the support. You are more than welcome to join our ranks." He looked over the small troop behind Ennea, freezing when he recognized Kat. Dimitri's hard face softened. "Rai-Kat!" He cleared his throat. "Lady Katerina."

Kat bowed to him from her horse. "Your Highness," she said. 

"Do you have a personal message from Lord Byron for me?" he asked curiously.

She realized what he was asking. Why in the world was she there? She was desperate for this to go better than her request to her father.

"No," she replied in a firm voice, head held high. "I've come to assist." She shifted her shoulder, showing off the bow she carried. It had been her weapon of choice for a while now, the one she could most easily practice with on her own. 

Dimitri blanched, his eyes widening.

"Lady Katerina has been studying under my tutelage lately. She is becoming quite talented and insisted on joining us today," Ennea said. With a single sentence she managed to both vouch for Kat and keep herself unaccountable for Kat’s actions.

Dimitri swallowed hard, color returning to his face. "I see," he said. He turned to one of the men who had accompanied him. "Will you please take Ennea and the rest of the troop to join with the others? I will be there momentarily." He turned back to Kat. "May I have a word, Lady Katerina?"

"Of course, Your Highness," Kat said, dismounting. 

Dimitri led her a few steps away, waiting for the rest of the Byron troops to leave. He took her hands in his, kissing the back of her gloved hand. "I appreciate seeing you," he started hesitantly, "but you shouldn't be here."

"Why not?" she demanded. “After hearing you would be so close I could not bear to stand by and do nothing.”

"If something were to happen to you..."

"And what about you?" she insisted.

He winced, running a hand through his hair. "Rain, please, _please_. Just go home. For me? I'll come see you tomorrow... if you go now."

"Mitya... You know I would do anything for you.” She swallowed hard, remembering her resolve. “But I'm not leaving."

He clenched his fists and turned around, trying to hide his anger from her.

"I'll be careful," she promised.

He spun and the look on his face shocked her. She had never seen him look so... _haunted_. "You can't guarantee that. Battlefields are full of surprises."

Her jaw clenched. "So then every guarantee and promise you've given me about it has been a lie?"

"I... I do my best," he admitted. "Will you at least stay behind and help heal?"

She bit her tongue. He was offering a compromise, but it just wasn't _enough_. "You're underestimating me."

She could see the tension return to his body. “Are you truly prepared to kill someone?”

“Are you?”

He shook his head. Not in answer, but in frustration. “Out there, you don’t have the luxury of thinking about it. It’s kill or be killed. Can you truly be reconciled with taking the life of another?”

“I will do what I must to protect you, Dimitri. To protect everyone.” 

"Fine," he said, grabbing her wrist roughly and pulling her deeper into the forest. She had to jog to keep up with his long legs... when had they gotten so long? He stopped several feet in front of a nearby tree, letting go of her wrist. "If you can hit that hollow,” he said pointing, “you can stay."

Kat's hands shook as she lifted the bow, pointing at the tree. She could do this. If he wanted proof, she would give him proof.

Perhaps it was the pressure or the determination she felt or the desire to impress him, or possibly some combination of all three, but she made a more accurate shot than she had her entire life. Ennea would have been impressed.

She turned back to him with what she hoped was a more proud than smug expression.

He smiled proudly, but his eyes were sad. "You're right, I shouldn't underestimate you. I’m sorry." He suddenly pulled her into his arms and gave her a kiss that made her head spin. "I simultaneously did and did not want you to make that shot," he told her, pulling away too soon. He closed his eyes while she caught her balance, remembering where she was and why. "The thought of you being out there terrifies me, but..." he trailed off, his eyes opening, desperation in his expression. "Please, _please_. Be careful. If anything happens to you I will never forgive myself."

She reached for his hand. "I promise, Mitya." She wanted to tell him that if something happened to her it wouldn’t be her fault but she figured arguing would be futile.

"Thank you for coming, Rain."

She squeezed his fingers. "Always here for you," she reminded him.

He gave her a quick kiss. "I need to get back to work."

They returned to their horses and Dimitri paused, lifting a shield strapped to his horse. “I don’t have a talisman for you, but I hope this will help keep you safe,” he said, handing over the shield. 

“No, Mitya, this is yours. You should keep it.”

He shook his head. “I can’t use it with my lance. Please, take it.”

She reluctantly took the heavy shield. “Thank you. Do you still have my talisman?” she asked curiously.

He pulled back the edge of his glove, showing her the strip of cloth fastened there and she smiled. She doubted it actually did anything, but she liked the idea of him having something of hers on his person. Maybe the Four Saints would protect him regardless of her beliefs. 

They remounted their horses and he led her to where their army was waiting. 

"Ennea," Dimitri called as they approached. 

The knight turned, raising her eyebrows. "I suppose you couldn't convince her to leave either?" 

Dimitri chuckled. "Unfortunately not. She is nearly as stubborn as I am.”

Kat rolled her eyes. 

“I hope you will keep an eye on her?" Dimitri asked Ennea.

"I will do my best, Your Highness."

"Thank you. Oh, Kat, I should warn you, Felix is here. He's not in a good mood either," Dimitri said before leaving.

  


Kat snuck away to find Felix sharpening his sword. "Felix!" Kat greeted. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

He glared at her. "Why are you even here?"

Kat's defenses rose. "The same reason you are," she said with a frown. "To fight."

"You're basically a princess. You should be at home learning how to sew and have babies."

She wondered if that was what her mother had been inferring when she said kings and queens had different roles to play. "And you're basically a jerk. I don't know why I bothered trying to talk to you."

"Does Dimitri know you're here?"

"Of course."

"And that idiot let you stay?"

"'That idiot' sees me as a person who can help, unlike you. I'm sorry for what happened to your brother, but that doesn't mean you can just be an ass."

His fists clenched. "This has _nothing_ to do with my brother." And with that, he turned and stomped away.

Kat frowned, wondering if she should have chosen her words more carefully. 

“Lady Katerina,” Ennea said from behind her. “It’s time.” 

She supposed she could deal with Felix later. 

  


Kat stood with the others eying the surrounding area, looking for outliers or surprise reinforcements. She was pretty sure Dimitri had something to do with the Byron assignment, though Ennea said it was because of their last minute arrival. Regardless, Kat was going to work as hard as she could. 

Reinforcements didn’t seem likely, this was barely an army to begin with. She wasn’t sure what they were thinking. Surely the noble family that started this didn’t think they could actually defeat the Kingdom army. There was some worry that nearby houses would join the cause, but scouts had not yet seen any movement. 

Kat’s thoughts went to Count Rowe again and she shivered. He had said her father would need to pick a side. Was this what he was referring to? Surely not. Surely Count Rowe was loyal, and if not, surely Lord Byron would say something. She still considered defying her father’s request to not mention the disastrous visit to Dimitri. Perhaps not today, however. Her father was going to be angry enough with her. 

She saw movement in the forested area up a nearby hill. An archer looked down into the main fray where the rest of the army was already fighting and Kat automatically aimed at him. She didn’t see the Faerghus blue the royal army was adorned with, only black. 

“Shoot,” Ennea confirmed, noticing her hesitation. 

Kat's hands shook as she aimed. She remembered Dimitri’s words. _Was_ she reconciled with taking the life of another? She had never killed anyone before, and that was exactly what she was about to do. She was going to take this person's life. Just like the lives of so many others had been taken. King Lambert, Queen Patricia, Glenn... Could she really do this? Maybe everyone was right. Maybe she shouldn't be here. She felt bile rising in her throat. 

The other archer aimed down into the battle and Kat wondered what was going through their mind. Who were they aiming at? Did they care who they shot? She froze. What if it was Dimitri? What if this was an assassin meant to finish him off? Maybe this rebellion was just a distraction from something more sinister. Or were they aiming at Dedue? Or Felix? 

Kat was here because she wanted to protect people. And to protect them she had to stop the people who meant to harm them. There was no reasoning with this distant archer. She only had one choice, a chance could not be taken on Dimitri's life. 

And it was just that simple. The enemy archer tumbled down the hill and more movement in the forested area followed.

“Aim for the forest atop the hill!” Ennea commanded to the rest of the troop. 

Her hands shook as she notched another arrow, but she remembered her resolve. This was how she protected the people she loved. 

She remembered how powerless, how useless she had felt after Duscur. That feeling began to dissipate as she notched another arrow, and another. Enemies continued to fall and she was no longer powerless. She felt a wild smile cross her face.

The strangers turned their own bows back towards the assault. 

“Remember your shield,” Ennea told Kat. Kat nodded, lifting the heavy object. There was a sharp metallic noise as an arrow pinged off of the shield. Another landed in the ground next to her, a third embedding itself into the man standing next to her. 

He made a terrible gurgling noise and Kat knelt next to him, setting her bow down to cast a healing spell. He couldn’t have been much older than her, with dark hair and terrified eyes a shade of blue too close to Dimitri’s. 

“Never put down your weapon during a battle!” Ennea shouted. 

“But I can heal him!” Kat protested.

“You aren’t here to heal!”

“I’m not going to ignore him!” She began to cast the healing spell.

“I don’t have time to babysit you, regardless of what the prince said. Do what you will!” 

The wound closed, the blood that was seeping out stopping. The soldier fell silent, and Kat realized that she had been too late. Tears filled her eyes, but she forced them away, picking her bow back up. There was not time for crying. 

Once the archers were suppressed, Kat couldn’t help but look back into the main fray, seeking out Dimitri. He was easy to find, spinning through the battlefield lance in hand, cutting down any and everyone in his way. It was simultaneously terrifying and mesmerizing. 

He still fought like he had when Kat had seen him sparring with Dedue - using powerful blows that left him open. But Dedue and Felix both slid into those open areas, keeping him safe. 

  


It was over quickly. Kat swallowed hard, looking around at the fallen bodies surrounding her. Most of the battle had passed in a blur once she had found her resolve. 

She thought of the people she had killed. She had lost count quickly, which was probably for the best. Her stomach flip flopped as everything began to sink in.

"You okay?" Ennea asked. “You’re looking a little green.”

Kat nodded. "I think so."

"You did pretty good out there, all things considered."

Kat nodded again, not sure what to say.

"You did what you had to. A battle means kill or be killed."

It was similar to what Dimitri had told her. "I know."

Ennea sighed. "I know you know that in theory, but it's a little different in practice, isn't it?"

"A bit."

"Don't over think it. Just remember you did what you had to. You helped protect your prince, and that's what matters, right?"

Ennea was right. She _had_ helped protect Dimitri. That's what she had wanted all along.

"Pray for their souls if you must. That's all you can do. And it’s okay if you need to throw up." 

Praying wasn't a bad idea. She herself might not be devout, but praying to the goddess for others was a different story entirely. "Thank you, Ennea."

"Yeah, just make sure your father doesn't fire me."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Just keep to our story that I snuck out after you. He knows how I am."

Ennea nodded.

"I'm going to find Dimitri."

Kat found him a ways away kneeling over the corpse of an enemy soldier. Soldier was a broad description, these were little more than armed villagers. Dimitri was staring so intensely at something in his hand that he didn't even hear her approach.

"Mitya, there you are," she breathed with relief. When he didn't respond, she called his name again. "Dimitri?" She approached slowly, placing her hand gently on his shoulder. He startled, reaching for his lance which was stuck into the ground next to him. "Mitya, it's me."

"Rain?" he asked, looking up at her. He dropped the object in his hand, standing now.

"I didn't mean to startle you."

He shook his head, looking her over. "It's fine. Are you alright?"

"Yes, of course. I was careful, just like you asked."

He nodded.

"What about you? Are you hurt?" She looked him up and down, trying to find any damage but it was difficult. He was absolutely filthy, covered in dirt and blood. It was the exact opposite of how she was used to seeing him.

"I'm fine."

She ran her hands down his arms, finding a place where a blade had managed to slice in between his protections. "Are you? It looks like my talisman was not very helpful." 

He glanced down, looking surprised. "I didn't even feel it. I’m sure your talisman kept it from being worse."

Holding his arm, she cast a healing spell over it. "Rain, you don't have to..." He tried to protest but was cut off by the sudden relief. "You're getting better at that," he said, looking down at his arm. There was barely a mark left.

She gave him a small, humorless smile. "The past couple of years I have insisted on more training." She didn't think he realized what she was referring to, how after seeing him in so much pain in Duscur, and then learning how the injuries lingered, she had been so desperate to learn faith magic, for combat training. Desperate to learn how to protect and help the people that meant the most to her. It was the reason she stood on this battlefield today.

"Thank you, Rain," he told her sincerely. He looked around, assessing his surroundings. "I should get back. And you should go home."

"Where will you go now?" she asked curiously.

"We'll camp nearby tonight and then head back to Fhirdiad in the morning."

She wanted to talk about how she was feeling, the change in perspective she had, but he just looked so... _down_. "You're still coming to see me tomorrow, right?" Maybe some distance from the battle would help. 

He smiled at her. "I think I can make that detour. If you go home now."

She nodded. "I will."

He brushed a lock of her hair that had come loose from her braid behind her ear. "Thank you for coming, for assisting. I shouldn't have doubted you."

"Anytime, Mitya. I told you I'm here for you and I meant it."

A quick kiss and she turned to head home. 

  


_Turned away from him she didn't see his eyes cloud over, didn't see him bend back down to the corpse and pick up the locket, opening it to reveal a tiny lock of hair so much like hers._

_She rode away and didn't hear Felix berating him, didn't get to watch all of his anxieties sink in as he realized the truth of his friends’ words. She made it home and only heard her mother's warnings about her father's anger, didn't get to watch Dimitri sink into a hopeless realization that he needed to sever their connection if he truly cared for her._

_She washed blood out of her hair while he rode towards her, the shock and horror of the earlier battle finally sinking its claws deep into his heart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I misread some of Dimitri’s convo’s (specifically Dimitri/Byleth B which refers to this rebellion) and thought that the first time he actually fought was at this rebellion but it’s the first time he LED. So things are a bit off but oh well. Let’s just say that he saw some combat between his letter where he said he hadn’t and now.
> 
> Sorry if you were expecting more action, but this is the snuggly story and not the fight-y story, please see my other OC story (Echelon) if you want more fighting and less kissing (but lots of pining and eventual kissing).  
> (It’s not abandoned, I promise! I’ll update it once the timeline has caught up to this one - which is coming up fairly soon actually o.o)
> 
> Anyway, this very long day will be continuing in the next chapter.
> 
> SIDE NOTE: I’ve been thinking about commissioning someone to draw Dimitri and Kat. So, if you know any artists with commissions open who draw nice Dimitri’s, let me know. 
> 
> If you’d like to follow along as I procrastinate, I’m on twitter @melissamajoriax


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS in the CW!  
> If you'd like a song for this chapter, I would suggest "Vulnerable" by Secondhand Serenade.
> 
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> -  
> It's eventual time.
> 
> CW: Lots of self-deprecation, ("underage") sex. 
> 
> Be gentle; it’s everyone’s first time.

_Red Wolf Moon, 1178_

Kat sighed, stepping out of the bath. It had been exactly what she needed, the hot water loosening her sore muscles. She wondered if everyone felt like this or if she needed to spend more time training. She anticipated she would be even more sore tomorrow.

She stepped out into the cool air of her bedroom, looking through her wardrobe for a clean nightgown. She frowned when the only one she could find was the one Molly had gifted her. Kat typically only wore it on the warmest of summer nights as it was significantly shorter than the rest, only reaching about mid-thigh. Her mother had raised her eyebrows upon seeing it, but said nothing. Luckily it was still relatively warm out and her blankets were thick.

Pulling a robe on over the thin fabric, Kat looked out the open balcony door to see the sun finally setting. It had been an incredibly long day and she was ready for it to be over. She was simultaneously worried about and looking forward to the next day, however. She was not ready to face her father’s wrath, but Dimitri had promised to visit.

Dimitri… Kat couldn’t help but think of him, wonder what he was doing right now. He wouldn’t have had the luxury of taking a relaxing bath like she had. She wondered if she should have insisted on staying, accompanying him until they could have returned here together. She almost laughed, imagining the look on her mother’s face.

Kat stepped out onto the small balcony, leaning against the rail and looking out at the village. It looked so serene right now in the twilight. She pulled her robe tighter around her as a cool breeze blew through her still damp hair.

"Kat," came a soft whisper next to her.

She jumped, suppressing a shout and lifting her fists to fight off the intruder.

"Dimitri?" she asked, confused, dropping her arms. She pulled her robe tighter again. "What are you... How did you..." She trailed off when she saw the miserable look on his face, at the way his eyes avoided hers. He hadn't cleaned up after the battle, was still covered in blood and dirt.

Kat took a step towards him, but he immediately backed up. "Are you alright?" she asked, still confused. He had seemed okay when she had left him before. What had happened to cause such a drastic change in his mood?

"You... You should stay away from me," Dimitri said, glaring at the ground. "Whatever was promised to your family in exchange for our union, I will make sure it is granted regardless."

Her heart began to sink. "Mitya, what are you saying?"

"You should stay far, far away from me. Forget about me, Katerina. Forget about me and men like me who are stained with blood. Live in happiness. Please."

"But _you_ make me happy, Mitya."

Dimitri shook his head. "You deserve better than me."

"I don't _want_ anyone else." Kat took a step towards him again, and this time he could only back into the wall. "Whatever is going on, we can get through it. _Together_." She reached for his hand and he didn't fight her, but he still wouldn't look at her.

"Mitya, _please_ ," she begged, her voice cracking. She took another step closer to him. "Don’t do this. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to!"

"I... I can't," he breathed. "I don't deserve you, I don't deserve to be happy."

"Why?” she demanded. “Why do you say that?"

"Everyone... _everyone_ died. But _me_. Why should I get to live when they _cannot_? Why should I imagine a future when so many others will never even have one?" Dimitri finally looked at her, the misery in his eyes breaking her heart. "Why should I get to look upon your beautiful face when Glenn can no longer even _see_ Ingrid?"

"I don't know," Kat said gently. She hadn’t realized the depths of his misery, just how much guilt and suffering he had been holding on to. She reached forward, her fingers brushing his cheek and ignoring the dried blood there. "I'm sorry, my Mitya, but I think that's something you have to find the answer for yourself." She wished more than anything that she had the answers he was looking for.

Dimitri took a shaky breath, finally squeezing the hand she was holding and letting his other hand rest on her hip. He closed his eyes for a moment. "Do I... do I really deserve you?"

His gauntlet was cold against the thin layers she wore and she couldn't help but shiver. "You don't have a choice. You're stuck with me," she tried to tease.

He shook his head. "I am but a bloodstained beast," he lamented. "Why do you even _want_ anything to do with me?"

"You are not a beast, Dimitri,” Kat said firmly, letting go of his hand and holding his face in her hands. “I have seen the caring boy you are. A beast would not _care_ like you do, would not _feel_ like you do. I fell for you before I ever met you because I could see that in your letters."

"I am not that boy any longer."

"But you _are_ Mitya, _you are_."

"Today... I..."

"Today you did what you had to,” she tried to reassure him. “You are a leader and sometimes leaders must make difficult choices."

"But... I... I acted like a beast."

"I didn't see a beast. I saw _you_. Who put such foolish thoughts in your head?" She wanted to find them and punch them. Nobody should _ever_ make him feel this way.

Dimitri turned his face from her and she let her hands slide down to rest on his shoulders.

Kat thought of him on the battlefield, spinning his lance and destroying everything in his path. "I think I asked about this in one of my letters, but you don't get many storms in Fhirdiad, do you?"

He looked back at her, confused. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"They are terrifying in their destruction. But there is also a beauty in their raw power. That is what you looked like on the battlefield today. A tempest, destroying everything in your path."

"Is this meant to be a compliment?"

"Storms are damaging, but we need them because they clear the way for something new and beautiful to have a chance to grow."

"If I am a tempest, then perhaps now is the time for you to get out of my path before I destroy you."

Kat shook her head. This was not going exactly how she had hoped it would. "There is safety in the eye of the storm. As long as you hold me close, I'll be safe."

"I'm not so sure. My carelessness is going to get you hurt… or worse."

"Let's try it and see," she suggested, linking her hands around his neck and smiling up at him. Since they’d met, it had been like they were racing to see who would become taller. She had almost caught up to him when she was last in Fhirdiad, but it seemed she was losing again.

Dimitri let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes again.

She wondered if telling him about her experiences today might help. “You asked me earlier if I was reconciled with taking someone’s life,” she told him.

His eyes opened again and he studied her closely. “And you said you were,” he reminded her.

“I thought that I was ready to do everything I could to protect you and the others, but when it came down to it, I hesitated,” Kat admitted. “I felt sick at the thought of actually letting go of my arrow.”

She thought she saw relief in his expression. “It was another archer, and they were aiming down into the main battle, where _you_ were. And I knew that I couldn’t take a chance on your life. I realized I had no choice but to let that arrow fly.”

“I’m sorry that I put you through that,” he said with a frown.

“No, Mitya. You did no such thing. I came because I wanted to help, because I was sick of feeling powerless and useless.”

“You aren’t useless…”

“I have felt helpless since Duscur. All I could do is lie here and cry or fret over your bedside. But today… today I was no longer powerless. I could _help,_ I could _protect_ you. And I couldn’t help but smile at that.”

Kat remembered his words the last time she had been in Fhirdiad, in that alley. _So many people get away with doing horrid things and there's nothing I can do about it._ He had sounded as helpless as she felt. “I thought that maybe you felt something similar.”

“I… I did feel helpless in Duscur. There was so little I could do about… anything.” She could tell he wanted to say more, but was still insisting on keeping the details of Duscur from her. “And it has been much the same since. But today… like you said, I didn’t feel powerless anymore. But I took things too far.”

Kat bit her lip, wondering if maybe she had done the same.

“That is why-” He cut off as she covered his mouth with her hand.

“Mitya, the more you try to push me away, the more I’m going to pull you close to me.” The arm still around his neck pulled him to her, demonstrating her claim.

“Rain… you’re so stubborn,” Dimitri sighed, shaking his head.

“I said I would always be here for you and I’m not backing down now. I’m not letting you go so easily, Mitya,” she said firmly, looking up at him.

“So it would seem,” he sighed again, sounding defeated. She hoped his defeat was for a different reason than the one he had originally came here with.

A breeze blew across the balcony and Kat shivered again. "Come inside," she insisted.

Dimitri’s eyes widened at her suggestion.

"Let's get you cleaned up." Kat took his hand again and he reluctantly let her pull him into her room and then into her adjoining bathroom. She pushed him against the edge of the tub until he sat. She noticed him staring and she realized his gauntlets had left bloody hand-prints on her robe.

"Don't worry about that," she told him, gently tilting his chin so she could rub a damp cloth against his face. She carefully wiped away dried blood and dirt, sweat, and what she surmised were tears.

"There's your handsome face," she said, smiling at him. One corner of his mouth twitched.

Trying to mitigate the number of bloody fingerprints he was leaving behind, she found the connections on one of his gauntlets and started to tug. When it didn’t give, he showed her a clasp she had missed and helped her get it all of the way off.

"Teach me," Kat demanded. She hoped this rebellion would be the last time he would have to see battle, but she knew that was unlikely. This was something she could help with, both now and in the future.

Dimitri looked at her quizzically. "Show me how to properly remove each piece,” she elaborated. “And tell me about it. What it’s called, what it’s for exactly."

"Why?"

"I want to learn," she said simply.

He swallowed hard and nodded.

It was slow going, but it seemed to distract him from his dark thoughts. She worked her fingers across his body, unlatching and helping him out of his armor as she asked questions. He wasn’t wearing very much armor, but it was a start.

Finally, Dimitri stood in the middle of the room clad in only a simple undershirt and pants that were _still_ unbelievably filthy. Kat frowned, humming, then stepped around him to turn on the water for the tub.

The pipes creaked loudly in protest, the infrastructure still relatively new to her house, to all of Faerghus, really. It was a privilege she had grown up with as it had been installed when she was still quite young. She was fortunate that her house had been updated at all when so few had.

Kat turned back and started to lift his shirt when he covered her wrist with his still gloved hand, stopping her. "This is inappropriate, Rain."

"I don't care, Mitya. I want to help."

"I know. But I can do this myself," he said gently. He lifted her hand to his lips.

Kat nodded. "Alright. I’ll… leave you to it then." She took the pile of armor she had removed and left the room, closing the door behind her. She snuck out of her room and to the nearby maid’s station where she cleaned his armor as best as she could. She dug through the laundry, finding one of her father’s tops and pants that she thought might fit Dimitri as well as some fresh towels. She even found where the rest of her nightgowns were hiding, but she left them behind.

Returning to her room, Kat locked the door behind her, changed into a clean robe, and knocked softly on the bathroom door.

"Mitya? I have fresh towels and some clothes for you." He didn't answer and she began to worry. He had been so upset… "Mitya?" she asked again. Had he left while she was gone? She knocked again, a little louder this time. "Mitya, I'm coming in," she announced, panic beginning to set in.

Dimitri sat in the middle of the tub, crouched over and hugging his knees to his chest. Kat’s original panic disappeared completely, replaced by a different type of panic entirely as her eyes roamed over his wide shoulders visible above the still steaming water that had turned pink. He looked up at her surprised when she walked in.

"I-I'm sorry, I knocked," she said nervously.

He hugged himself tighter, lowering his hands so they were below the water level. "It's alright," he said quietly. His eyes went to her sides, noticing they were no longer covered in bloody hand-prints.

"I brought you towels and some clean clothes that should fit," she explained, lying them on the counter.

Dimitri nodded. "Thank you."

Kat couldn't stop looking at him, at his beautiful skin, the scars snaking up his back... she wanted to find and kiss every single one of them. She noticed his hair still had flecks of blood in it. "Can... Can I wash your hair?"

He looked at her confused. "I can do it.”

"I know you can. But I... I want to, Mitya."

"Why?"

Kat shrugged. She wanted to touch him, but she wasn’t sure how to convey that. Her usual bluntness seemed too brash when he was so vulnerable. "Let me do this for you."

"Alright," he said reluctantly, hugging his knees closer to his chest.

Kat sat on the edge of the tub where he had been earlier. She noticed a few flecks of something on the back of his shoulders and cupped water in her hands, letting it pour over him. She couldn’t help but run her shaking fingertips along his skin and he shivered in response.

"Rain..." he said shakily. “I thought you were going to wash my hair?”

"I'm sorry.” She ran her fingers through his hair and he tilted his head back, closing his eyes. Her eyes fell on his long neck and she wanted to trail kisses along it.

_Goddess_ , she needed to stop these thoughts. Her intentions had originally been pure, but now... All she could think about was seeing him, _all_ of him, and touching him and being touched in return.

Kat took a deep breath, focusing on the task at hand. She took a small bowl and used that to pour water onto his hair. He let go of his legs so he could rub his face and she realized she'd never seen his bare hands before. He _always_ wore gloves, even as a child. She wondered what those hands would feel like on her bare skin. His hands were scarred as well and much like his back, she wanted to kiss each one.

Dimitri opened his eyes and noticed her staring. "I apologize if they make you uncomfortable."

She looked at him confused. Why would his hands make her uncomfortable?

"I'm sure you saw the ones on my back as well."

Her brain finally caught up, making the connection. "Oh. Your scars?"

Dimitri nodded, staring dejectedly into the pink water. She remembered the last time she was in Fhirdiad when he was terrified to let her see his hands, so ashamed of the scar she did see on his arm. It was such a contrast to this almost defeated tone he had now. She had pushed him into this bath, barged in on him, and the thing he was most upset about was that she could see his scars.

"They don't make me uncomfortable at all, Mitya." Kat reached for one of his hands, finding it soft in some places and calloused and rough in others. She lifted it to her lips to kiss several of the scars. "They still do not change the way I feel about you."

"You're so warm," he murmured, reaching to cup her face gently.

It was Kat’s turn to close her eyes, reveling in his touch. Finally, _finally_ she was feeling his bare hand against her skin and she wanted nothing more than to feel his hands all over her.

Her eyes sprang open and she shifted away from him, leaning towards the shampoo. “Tilt your head back,” she instructed.

Dimitri gave her a curious look but complied. He hummed appreciatively as her fingertips massaged the shampoo into his head, her stubby fingernails long enough to gently scratch at his scalp. He kept so much tension in the base of his skull and her thumbs pressed into the space releasing it. Her fingers trailed down his neck and to his shoulders, working out some of the tightness. “Rain,” he all but purred her name, letting his head fall forward and not caring when shampoo began to run down his face.

“Mitya,” Kat said with a chuckle. “Keep your eyes closed,” she instructed. Water cascaded down his face. She pushed his wet hair back and he let her puppeteer him, tilting his head mostly upright. She ran her fingers through his wet hair as she rinsed again and again, her nails gently scratching at his scalp again.

“There you are,” she finally said, dabbing at his eyes with a towel.

“Thank you, Rain,” Dimitri said, opening his eyes to look at her. He seemed more alert now, less upset and aghast. It seemed he might finally be climbing out of the haze he had been in since she’d found him on her balcony.

Dimitri looked at her curiously and she wondered what expression she was making. “I, um…” she looked away, biting her lip. “There’s a towel. And some clean clothes that should fit.”

He seemed to suddenly remember that he was sitting naked in a tub and nodded, squeezing his legs to his chest tightly again. “Thank you.”

Kat nodded. “I’ll give you some privacy, then.” She stood and left, looking back at him before closing the door behind her.

Back in her room, Kat closed the door to the balcony. The breeze was chilly and she wondered if she should start a fire. Instead, she checked the door to her bedroom again. Still locked. Feeling restless, she collected the books scattered across her bed and stacked them on the floor. She straightened her desk. She re-stacked the stack of books on the other side of her bed. She ran her fingers across the cover of her worn copy of Loog and the Maiden of the Wind.

Finally, Kat sat at the foot of her bed, staring nervously at the closed bathroom door. She combed her hair and began pulling it over her shoulder and into the side braid she typically slept with. As she was fastening it, she could hear the tub begin to drain and then the sound of Dimitri moving around. Her hands began to shake.

Dimitri stepped out of the bathroom moments later, rubbing the towel over his hair. He looked up, seeming surprised that she was there. Or perhaps surprised that it seemed that she was sitting right outside the door. Kat’s room wasn’t large, it was surprising that it even had an adjoining bathroom. Her parents’ room was much larger but with a separate bath.

Kat jumped up. “How are you?” she asked.

“I feel much better, Rain. Thank you.”

“Of course. Always here for you, remember?”

He smiled sheepishly, looking at the floor. “Of course.”

She stepped forward, taking the towel from him and tossing it over her desk chair. “Can I get you anything?”

Dimitri slipped one of his warm hands into hers. “Thank you, Rain… But I should go.”

She squeezed his hand. “Must you?”

“I should… Shouldn’t I?”

Kat didn’t _want_ him to go. She wanted to lock him in her room forever, but she would accept having him to herself a little longer. “Please stay, Mitya.”

“Only if you insist,” he said shakily.

The implications of what she was suggesting sank in and the tension in the room began to grow as a result. It wasn’t exactly what she had meant, but now that the words were out… She wasn’t entirely sure what was going to happen tonight or what she even wanted to happen, all she knew was that she didn’t want him to go.

Kat took another step towards him. “I do.”

Dimitri reached a shaking hand up to brush against her face. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his skin, turning her head to kiss his hand when it was close enough.

“You’re so warm and soft,” he breathed. “I should get my gloves,” he added quickly, catching himself.

“Please don’t," she said, reaching up to hold his hand against her cheek. "If you feel you must, then I won't force you, but please know that your touch is welcome."

Dimitri nodded. She let go and his hand fell to her shoulder, cupping her braid. “Your hair looks nice like this.”

Kat gave him a small smile. “It helps keep it under control when I’m sleeping,” she explained.

His hand trailed down her back now, drawing her even closer to him. They were so close now. Had they ever been this close before?

Dimitri glanced towards the windows. “It _is_ getting late.”

She looked up at him nervously. “Stay the night with me,” she requested. She was afraid of what might happen if he left, of his dark thoughts returning and keeping him from her.

He balked at her suggestion, taking a step back from her. “Rain… I… we…” he stuttered.

“It’s not the first time we’ve spent the night together,” she reminded him.

Dimitri shook his head. “I wasn’t conscious for that… and besides, we were just kids.”

Kat shivered, realizing how true that was. This was not the same boy she had shyly kissed on a mountain, and she was not the same girl. She had _desires_ now, desires that were growing by the second. Every time he touched her, kissed her… Every time she simply looked at him.

“Please, just lie down for a little while.” She took a step back and sat on the edge of her bed. “It’s late and you must be exhausted. That’s all I’m suggesting.” It really _was_ all that she was suggesting.

Dimitri’s hands shook, but he relented, stepping around to lie on the other side of her bed. He curled onto his side, pressing the side of his face firmly into her pillow.

Kat turned and curled next to him leaving what she felt to be a respectable distance between them on her small bed. He frowned, shifting and tugging on his borrowed clothes.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

Dimitri nodded, finally settling. “These pants are a little big,” he admitted with a slight blush.

“Ah.” Kat took one of his hands and held it between them. She started tracing lines and scars on it, pulling it to her mouth to kiss the worst of them.

Dimitri watched her carefully, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“Does it hurt?” she asked.

He hesitated. "Not exactly. It's less of pain and more of a dull ache most of the time. There's usually some stiffness in the joints and sometimes my fingers swell making it even more difficult to grip," he explained.

She shifted her hands around his, pressing her thumb into his palm and carefully pressing in to massage out some of the stiffness. Dimitri sighed contentedly and closed his eyes.

Kat took this as encouragement and began to work a little harder. Maybe she could relax him enough that he would fall asleep and stop arguing. "Please tell me if I hurt you."

"That feels wonderful." Dimitri opened his eyes to look at her. "You never react the way I expect," he added thoughtfully.

Kat sighed. "Maybe because you always expect the worst."

He gave her a small smile, closing his eyes again. "Right you are, as always."

She scooted a little closer. "Do you know one of the things I look forward to the most once we are wed?" she asked.

His eyes opened again, peering at her curiously.

"It's a pretty long list," she confessed, "but one thing that comes to mind right now is being able to sleep next to you each night."

Something dark and guarded came across his expression, but she ignored it, continuing on. "It's at night that I find I miss you the most," she admitted. "I can keep myself pretty distracted throughout the day, but when I lie here at night I can't help but think about you, worry about you. I wonder how your day has been and wish I could at the very least ask you about it."

She swallowed hard, wondering if she should continue. But Kat frequently said and did things she knew she should not and this was no exception. "It's then that I remember most how it feels to kiss you, to touch you." She felt her face warm and watched his turn a little pink as well. "Maybe it's just because most of our secret rendezvous have happened at night."

Dimitri hesitated, lifting the hand she was not massaging to trail along her face. "It's at night that my thoughts race the most," he said cryptically. "And it's then that I try to focus them on _you_ , because those are the thoughts that make me the happiest."

"Where are your thoughts now?" Kat asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"You," he whispered back. She felt his voice more than she heard it, a deep rumble so different from the pitch it had been when they first met. "All you."

She slid closer, taking his face in her hands. "Stay," she whispered. "Stay here and hold me all night," she requested. "Keep your thoughts here, with me."

He let his arms tentatively wrap around her. “I shouldn’t,” he said reluctantly. “I really should go,” he repeated.

Kat sighed, letting her head fall back. "And what if I don't want you to? What if I keep you here?" she asked, the heat of the moment gone, replaced by teasing.

Dimitri gave her a skeptical but amused look. "And how would you do that?"

In one swift movement, she pushed him onto his back and then rolled on top of him, holding him down. "There!" she said, sitting up with a triumphant smile. "Now you're my prisoner."

“Rai-Rain,” he gasped, looking up at her.

Kat looked down, the realization of what she had done finally sinking in. “Oh,” she said with a blush. The heat from moments ago came rushing back.

This was a pivotal moment, she could feel it. She could do the right thing and roll off of him, apologizing. But _was_ it really the right thing?

“I…” She stared down at him, his hair fanned across her pillow, long lashes framing his widened eyes, and his lips… Those soft, moist lips that she adored.

Or… she could kiss him.

Kat had been afraid to kiss him thusfar. It hadn’t seemed right when they were on the balcony, the way he had seemed so distressed. And then in the bathroom… well, everything about that had been inappropriate.

Once he had exited the bath, she had been afraid of what would happen if she kissed him. What if she frightened him with her desires?

No, she realized that wasn’t what she was afraid of, really. She was more afraid of what would happen if his desires matched hers.

“Um…” What would happen next? She wasn’t sure. This was entirely unknown territory, and she found her fears slipping away.

Her mouth was halfway to his before she consciously made the decision.

There was a soft kiss, followed by another, and then another. Kat paused, still close enough that she could taste his breath on her tongue. Dimitri looked up at her, his impossibly long and beautiful lashes hiding most of his bluest of blue eyes, darker than usual now. He leaned up into her lips this time, his kiss quickly turning into a hungry one.

His arms wrapped around her, crushing her to him, his tongue delving into her mouth and confidently seeking her own. He sucked her breath away but she didn’t care, gasping for air whenever she could.

Tangled together like this, it was easier to see how much had changed since they had first met. Her hands ran across his shoulders, now wide and solid, no longer those of a squishy child. The gangly arm attached to the hand that she shyly held for the first time almost three years ago was now muscular and strong as it slid down to pull on her waist, to pull her even closer to him.

Kat wanted those strong arms to stay around her tightly, wanted those hands on her, to touch her _everywhere_. And she wanted to touch _him_ , to feel the scarred skin she had seen. To reassure him that she still thought him beautiful, no matter how marred he was.

Her nightgown had slid up her legs when she rolled on top of him and Dimitri’s hand not already pulling on her waist slid down her back to rest on her hip. His long fingers found her bare skin easily, pulling her nightgown up even further. His hand carefully kneaded and caressed her hip and thigh, making her moan softly into his mouth. His hand found the edge of her underwear, gripping onto it for dear life.

Kat wondered if he had any idea what he was doing, knew just _what_ exactly he was gripping. The notion was laughable - _she_ definitely had no idea what she herself was doing. All she knew was that with each touch, each kiss, she craved _more_. Each touch and kiss compounded on the next, the desire in her building and building.

Dimitri’s thumb brushed her inner thigh and her hips automatically ground against his, looking for some relief to the pressure building between her legs. He tilted his head back, gasping, and she finally got her chance to kiss his now exposed throat.

There was a slight tug on her underwear and then it was too loose all of a sudden. She realized he must have torn it in his grip.

His hands on her shifted and she suddenly found herself lying on her back, his weight carefully distributed over her. He began kissing up the column of her neck, his hips pressing firmly against hers.

“Mitya,” Kat sighed contentedly, sliding her fingers up his back. One hand slid under his shirt, feeling the uneven ridges of his scarred skin. The other tangled in his still damp hair as his lips found hers again, somehow even more urgent than before. It was as if there was something he needed to tell her and he thought he could breath the words down her throat, push them into her with his tongue. He wrote novels in this way and she inhaled each and every letter.

His hips weren’t the only thing pressing against her and she shifted underneath him, tilting her own hips up towards him, still desperate for that relief her body _knew_ where to go to find. His hips slid back from her, making space so his hand could fumble between them, looking for the right place. She shifted her hips even more, trying to help, and then there was a sudden pressure as he pushed inside of her.

Kat gasped, her hand falling from his hair to grip his shoulder tightly.

"Rain," Dimitri whispered, burying his face in her neck. He wrapped his arms around her, managing to hold her even closer to him.

There was some pain and discomfort in the new, unfamiliar stretch, but it left quickly, replaced by more pleasant feelings. He moved slowly and carefully and she knew he was terrified of hurting her. It was enough, though.

He massaged just the right place inside of her, filling an emptiness she never knew had existed before. She grasped him tightly, pressing her mouth against his collarbone to muffle the noises she was making. It didn't last long, it didn't need to. He grunted as her teeth sank in when the orgasm hit her, that sought after relief finally, finally found.

His arms around her tightened even further and he gasped against her throat as his hips moved a little faster against her before he finally sank deep inside of her, his entire body shuddering.

Kat reached up to thread her fingers through his hair as he stilled, heavy breathing slowing. He slid to the side, readjusting their legs but keeping his arms tightly around her. He kept his face pressed against her throat and whispered her name again before his body seemed to relax completely.

She wanted to look into his eyes, to know what he was thinking and feeling, but Kat had never seen him look so relaxed before. His eyes were closed, his breaths evening out. She brushed his hair back, tilting her head slightly to press soft kisses to his face, her hand coming to rest against his chest. His heart beat strong underneath her, lulling her to sleep.

The next morning, Kat awoke alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breaking news: Prince of Faerghus lets himself relax for the first time in two+ years and immediately falls asleep.
> 
> How does plumbing in Faerghus work? I suppose however I want it to. :P
> 
> There's a fine line between poetic prose and just sounding dumb and I'm not sure what side I ended up on a few times here. 
> 
> I rewrote the majority of this chapter SO MANY times. I just couldn’t get it to work the way I wanted. I think I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out, though. Please, let me know what you think… honestly. But like, gentle honesty, please. *sweats*


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You just thought the Red Wolf Moon of 1178 was over. 
> 
> The penultimate set of letters for this portion of the story, circa 1178.

_Red Wolf Moon, 1178_

Mitya,

It’s been less than a day since I saw you last and yet you have not left my mind for even a moment. Even though the circumstances that brought us together were less than pleasant, I am glad I was able to see you, to spend time with you. I hope you still remember what I said and will not stop saying until you finally believe me: I will always be there for you.

Father was quite displeased with me for coming to your aid, but I will not regret my decision. As a matter of fact, I do not regret any decisions I have made regarding you. 

For reasons I do not fully comprehend (likely a punishment of sorts) Father has forbidden Ennea from training me any further. I wish he would respect my desire to learn to protect myself and everyone else. His argument is that I do not need to be wasting her time. She should be concentrating on her job when there are instructors who are paid to train me. 

Father doesn’t understand that the quality of training I received from Ennea was significantly improved upon that of my instructors. I learned more from her in the few months we had together than I learned from my instructors in the past year. Perhaps she should be instructing the instructors. But for Ennea’s sake, I will reluctantly respect his wishes. 

I pressed a flower that I grew just for you that I am enclosing. I was worried that it would not bloom before your birthday, yet when I checked on it early this morning it had. Please consider it an early birthday present. I wish I could give it to you in person, alas… 

I can’t believe we will be sixteen soon. Remember when the plan was for us to not have any contact until we were sixteen? Can you imagine? It makes me laugh to think of that. But once again, I regret none of my decisions regarding you. 

It is only two years until we are eighteen, only two years until we are able to marry. And then we will never have to leave each other’s side again. I am counting down the days. 

I miss you already.

Yours,  
Rain  


  


_Ethereal Moon, 1178_

Felix,

I wanted to apologize for the words we recently shared. I said some things that perhaps I should not have. My mother frequently tells me that my mouth will get me in trouble one day. 

To be quite honest your own words struck a nerve in me. I had already spent the day trying to convince people that I had a right to help. That is why I reacted the way I did. 

Still, that is no excuse for me to wield Glenn’s name like a weapon towards you. For this, I hope you will accept my apologies. I know that you care deeply for Dimitri, and for that reason more than any I wish for us to be close friends. 

I hope to receive a reply from you, preferably one with more words than your last contained. 

Yours friend,  
Kat  


  


_Guardian Moon, 1178_

Mitya,

It has been nearly two moons and I have not heard from you. I hope that our mail is not being lost. Perhaps you just have not had the time to write? I worry that you work too hard, that you neglect your well-being. Please, take care of yourself. If you will not do it for yourself, then do it for me. Once we are wed, I will bother you every day so you may as well get used to it now.

You are always on my mind, Mitya, but I find that you are increasingly on my mind at night. I lie awake at night and countdown the days until we can be wed, until I can be by your side for the rest of our days. I frequently imagine what our life together will be like. I am sure it will be filled with joy. 

I know that there is plenty of strife and a good deal of work to be done, but I hope that we can still find time to enjoy each other’s company. I want you to always remember that I care for you and want to help you, no matter what you are fighting. I know that your mind can be your worst enemy sometimes and I want to be there to help you, to chase away your dark thoughts and remind you that you deserve to be happy. 

No matter what, my Mitya, I will always be there for you. You said I was stubborn, and you are right. But this is one thing I will never budge on. 

I miss you so, so much. I hope you are well and that we can see each other again soon. 

Yours,  
Rain  


  


_Lone Moon, 1178_

Mitya,

I am beginning to worry. If I do not receive a reply by the end of the month then I will find a way to you. I am not sure what else to say that I have not said in my previous letters. 

Perhaps you found my letters childish, the way I talk about counting down the days until we can be wed. I thought this would be a sentiment that we shared, but if not please let me know. I miss you so much when we are apart and I thought you felt the same. Please tell me if I am mistaken. 

When I saw you last, you tried to push me away. I hope that this is not you still trying to do something so silly. It isn’t going to work. You’re stuck with me, my Mitya. I realize I might sound possessive, but I care for you and I know that your reasons for pushing me away are inane. 

I know that you care for me, and I care for you as well. Have I not proven that to you? Do I need to work harder to make you believe me? If that is it, then please tell me. Please tell me what you need me to do or say. I can’t take this much longer. 

I will see you soon.

Yours,  
Rain  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is looking to be super long, so long in fact I might split it.
> 
> Stay tuned and thank you for reading this far! I appreciate the comments, kudos, and even the lurking in the shadows. :)
> 
> Procrastinate with me on Twitter if you’d like: @melissamajoriax


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat storms Fhirdiad!  
> Also, Dimitri accidentally lies to her mother. Some secrets are (kind of) revealed!
> 
> CW: Dimitri's self depreciation machine is on HIGH, leading to misunderstandings, then some semi-public sex as a treat.

_Great Tree Moon, 1179_

"The Ladies Byron have arrived," the butler announced once Kat and her mother had been led into the sitting room. Since their visit was unexpected this time, there had been no one to greet their carriage outside. Dimitri stood with only Dedue to accompany him in the middle of the sitting room, an unhappy look that Kat could not fully decipher on his face. Dedue at least gave her a small smile.

Dimitri would not meet Kat’s eyes as he greeted first her mother and then her. A quick kiss to the back of her hand (if you could even call it a kiss), dropping it quickly.

Rather than his usual greeting of a simple nod from several paces away, Dedue leaned in close and took Kat’s hand in both of his. “I’m glad you are here,” he whispered. “Something has been bothering Dimitri for months now.”

“What’s happened?” Kat asked. “He has not been responding to my letters.”

“He will not discuss it with me,” he told her with a frown. “Whatever it is, it weighs heavily upon him.” He glanced back to find Dimitri looking at them with a frown. 

Dimitri sat miles apart from Kat on the sofa in the reception room, Dedue standing to the side. She scooted closer almost immediately. 

"Mitya," she whispered desperately. His hands sat folded in his lap and she wondered how he would react if she reached over and took one. She couldn’t understand this cold reception. 

"Such lovely weather," her mother commented from the couch across from them, eying the pair curiously. “I wasn’t expecting it to be so warm.”

It had taken a lot for Kat to convince her mother to accompany her to Fhirdiad. After the incident with Rufus during her last visit, Kat couldn’t blame her mother for not wanting to come without her father. But Lord Byron flat out refused to come, alternating his excuses between stating he had business to attend to at home and feigning illness. He was against Lady Byron coming, but Kat eventually managed to persuade her mother after threatening to go alone. 

"It is unseasonably so," Dimitri replied. "May I ask what brings you here? I hope you were not expecting to meet with my uncle as he is away attending to business in Itha." 

Lady Byron looked from Kat to Dimitri. Kat looked away quickly, realizing she was already caught in a lie. "My apologies, I was under the impression that we were invited?"

"Oh, yes, of course," Dimitri said quickly. "You are always welcome."

Lady Byron's eyes narrowed at her daughter.

"I'm actually glad you're here," Dimitri said, straightening his back and ignoring the look. "There is something I would like to discuss with you, Lady Byron."

Kat tensed. What would he want to discuss with her mother? Her heart began to sink. He still wouldn't look at her. She remembered his words as he stood so unhappily on her balcony. Surely he wasn't going to… 

"Your Highness, before you get to business, I was hoping you could show me the gardens?" Kat asked as sweetly as she could manage. "I know how volatile the weather can be, so it would be nice to take advantage while we can. And, besides, I'm not sure when we'll get another chance. Consider it a… final request of sorts."

She could see his resolve faltering. He swallowed hard. "Yes," he said reluctantly, "perhaps a quick stroll through the gardens would be favorable." 

Kat stood quickly, Dimitri following more slowly. Her mother began to stand as well, but Kat frowned at her. "Mother, perhaps you should stay. Your allergies…"

"You really should not be unescorted…"

"We are simply walking through the gardens, Mother. I'm sure we will be surrounded by others."

Lady Byron still hesitated.

"You have my word that nothing untoward will happen, Lady Byron," Dimitri said with a deep bow.

“Perhaps I can prepare you some tea, Lady Byron?” Dedue spoke up. “I’m sure you must be tired from your long journey. I could make you something to eat as well.” Kat gave Dedue a grateful smile.

“That does sound lovely,” she admitted. “Very well, please return quickly.”

  


Dimitri led Kat outside and into the gardens which were just starting to bloom. They walked in silence, Kat not sure what to say. 

Plants typically had a calming effect on Kat. When she was practicing magic and it fizzled out quicker than she wanted, she wandered the orchards. When her father's ire boiled over, she walked through the forest that bordered her territory. When the thought of being away from Dimitri for even a moment longer began to feel unbearable, she sank her fingers into the soil and let the plant life take root in her heart.

Today, however, despite finally walking through the gardens of Fhirdiad as she had wanted to do since her very first visit over three years prior, she just couldn't pay attention to her surroundings. Plants familiar and unfamiliar surrounded her but she didn't really see them. 

All she saw was the boy who reluctantly let her take his arm, this boy who kept his eyes in the opposite direction of hers, a dark look simmering. His hair seemed messier than usual, falling further into his face and making the dark shadows under his eyes seem even darker. His lips were pursed in what she surmised was frustration. 

What had she done to provoke this? She thought of the last moments they had spent together. She had been so happy, so _content_. She was sure he had felt the same.

When Kat had awoken the next morning alone, she looked out from the balcony, hoping to catch Dimitri leaving. She understood why he had left so early, but she wished he had awoken her, had said goodbye. Maybe he had but she didn't remember it. 

She snuck muffins from the kitchens and went to her garden to work, wondering if he was still going to make an official visit. Just in case, she spent the rest of the day under her favorite tree, reading. It was positioned so she could see the entrance to the house (and therefore any visitors) but far enough away that she would not be disturbed. She skipped lunch, growing disappointed by the late afternoon. It seemed Dimitri would not be visiting. 

She couldn't blame him, he'd spent at least _some_ of the early morning in her room, so he hadn't broken his promise. 

She hid under her tree the rest of the evening, skipping dinner as well until her father finally summoned her just after the sun had set. She sighed, still not ready for the aftermath, the consequences of her actions the day before.

She was not ready for this aftermath either, had not been expecting it at all. Had she done something wrong when they'd lain together? She had no experience, no knowledge other than what she read about in the illicit novels hidden under her bed. She thought he had enjoyed their coupling, but maybe she was wrong. 

Maybe it was the action in itself? That she had not pushed him away, had not restrained herself. Her mother would have described her behavior as unbecoming.

She thought of the last time she was here and the way he had shook over such innocent touches. He had said he wasn't used to being touched and she had wanted to change that. And now they had shared in some of the most intimate of touches. 

Perhaps it was her letters? She had been quite harsh in her latest letter in particular. Maybe that was what had offended him so deeply. Maybe she should have kept her frustrations to herself.

"Have I offended you?" she blurted, finally breaking the silence. "I know my last letter in particular was a bit harsh, but I was growing frustrated when you weren't responding to me."

He sighed and turned to lead her into the hedge maze. It was quiet now, more private. 

"You had every right to be harsh. I couldn't bare to read them," he admitted, looking even further away from her. "Not after what I did to you."

"What you did to me? Mitya, what are you even talking about?"

He pulled away from her, leading her down a dead end. There was a bench, but neither of them sat, choosing to stand facing each other. "I… I… I _forced_ myself on you," he said to the ground, his eyes filling with tears.

"You… what? Is that what you think happened?" Things were beginning to simultaneously make more sense and less sense.

"It is! Do not try to deny it. I took advantage of you, of your kindness."

She reached for his face, taking it in both of her hands and forcing him to look at her. "Mitya, you have it all wrong. You did _not_ force yourself on me." She gave him a half smile. "If anyone took advantage, it was me."

He looked at her confused. 

"You were upset and I took you into my room without a chaperone. Then I helped you _undress_ and all but pushed you into the bath. _I_ walked in on you, Mitya. _I_ was the one who… who touched you first." One of her hands dropped to his shoulder, tracing a similar line to the one she had traced when he sat in the tub.

He closed his eyes and she hoped he was remembering. She lowered her voice as her own memories replayed in her head. "You were sitting in that tub and all I could think about was touching you and being touched in return."

His eyes opened and searched hers. "Truly? You truly thought about that?"

"Yes, Mitya, _yes_ ,” she said, running her hands along his chest now. “If you recall, I believe it was _me_ who kept insisting you stay the night. It was _me_ who rolled on top of you." Listing her sins like this sounded incredibly incriminating, but it seemed to be working. 

He shuddered, his arms finally wrapping around her waist and holding her to him.

"I wanted you just as much as I hope you wanted me," she said, pulling his mouth to hers.

"I did," he murmured between kisses. "I wanted you."

"I don't have a single regret about what happened that night," she said firmly, pulling from his lips. Her tone softened as she continued, "I woke up at some point in the night and you were there, holding me." She kissed his nose. "And I felt warm," a kiss to his cheek, "safe," his other cheek, "and happy," a chaste kiss to his lips. "I don't think I've ever been as happy as I was in that moment." A much longer kiss. 

"Truly?" He murmured against her lips. "You truly mean that?"

"Yes, Mitya. Yes." They kept kissing, holding tightly to each other, before pausing to catch their breaths, foreheads pressed together. “I made a lot of mistakes that night,” she said. “But I don’t regret them.”

He shook his head. “You did nothing wrong.”

“Then if you don’t think I did anything wrong, and I don’t think you did anything wrong… are we okay?”

“Yes… Yes. If you will forgive me, that is.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” she reminded him. 

“I did not reply to your letters. I didn’t even read them.”

Kat sighed. “There’s still time.”

"Regardless, I think it would be best if we did not perform such actions again," Dimitri said.

"What? Why not?" Kat demanded.

His eyes widened at her obstinate tone. "I… We… It-it's not proper."

"I don't care," she said, kissing him again.

"What about the consequences?" he asked.

"Consequences?"

"What if you were to become pregnant?"

She rolled her eyes. "You forget that I have been spent the past several years studying medicinal herbs. There are herbs for that. Herbs I happen to grow and that make a very delightful tea." Okay, so she was stretching the truth with that last part a little. But now that she had had him, she _craved_ him. She _needed_ him again. Her own hands were not enough.

Perhaps that was the tactic to try now that he was still hesitating. "Ever since that night," she admitted, "I've thought about you frequently."

"Oh?"

"Late at night, when I'm alone..."

"Oh." The implications began to sink in for him.

"And I pretend," she took his hand in hers, "that my hands are yours," she pressed his hand between her legs and he exhaled sharply. 

"Rain," he whispered, his hips jolting forward against his will.

She hummed appreciatively, feeling his growing erection. "I’ve missed you, Mitya."

"Rain..."

"But if you truly don't want to..." She was a little worried that she was pushing too hard. The last thing they needed were more misunderstandings.

"I do," he all but whimpered. 

"I'm glad," she whispered, leaning up to press a firm kiss to his throat.

He shivered. "Come with me," he whispered, gripping her hand tightly and pulling her through the hedge maze. 

To the untrained observer, there was no way to access the large tree at the center of the hedge maze. A small park occupied the space around it, but the tree that was visible was still surrounded on all sides by tall hedges. 

But this was Dimitri's playground and he knew every inch of the hedge maze and all of the secrets it held. He pulled Kat through the hidden opening covered by sheets of vines. He and his friends played in the tree house here frequently... before. Now, it was a seldom used sanctuary. "Can you climb in that dress?" he asked. She said nothing, pushing past him and making her way up. 

There was not standing room in the tree house, Dimitri had not been able to stand up straight in there since even before Duscur. They knelt in the room and began to tug at each other's clothes, knowing their time was limited and only removing the required pieces. Dimitri's gloves were flung to a corner, Kat's various layers of skirts lifted, his belt unbuckled, and then...

"Are you sure?" Dimitri asked, hesitating. 

"Mitya," she begged. "Yes, please. I need to feel you again." 

He complied, pushing inside of her as his lips pressed shyly against her throat. She slid her arm up his shirt, gripping his shoulder tightly. "Mitya," she gasped, "oh, Mitya." This is what had consumed her thoughts at night for months, and now finally, _finally_ …

“Rain,” he gasped before his lips silenced them both.

  


Dimitri frowned, looking around the tree house for his second glove. 

"Mitya," Kat said quietly behind him. He turned to see her sitting where he'd left her, holding up his missing glove with a soft smile. 

He reached for it, but she pulled it away. "Come here," she insisted.

He knelt in front of her and she took his still bare hand and held it against her cheek. She closed her eyes, leaning against it, turning her head just slightly so she could kiss his palm.

"When do you return home?" he whispered.

She pulled his hand back, tugging his glove in place. "Tomorrow. Mother hates traveling at night."

He smiled. "Can I come see you? After everyone has gone to sleep?"

"And what might your intentions with me be, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd?" she asked in a teasing tone, running the fingers of one hand up his chest.

He leaned forward, sliding an arm around her and pulling her to him so their chests pressed together. "Most impure," he admitted, his lips hovering millimeters from hers. 

"Oh?" she asked. "I am intrigued."

"I wish to make love to you properly."

She wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by ‘properly,’ but she was looking forward to another night spent together. "Then I will be waiting impatiently tonight."

  


They made their way back to the gardens slowly, hands tightly clasped together. Kat could finally enjoy her surroundings now, stopping frequently to take a closer look at the many unfamiliar plants. 

“I am curious,” Dimitri wondered aloud as she cupped a large white bloom in her hand, inhaling the sweet scent. “Did you anticipate that we would grow this close so quickly?”

“Hmm?” she asked. 

He lowered his voice. “You are already growing herbs to prevent pregnancy.”

“Oh, no. I honestly didn’t think that would happen until we were married,” she admitted. “I’ve been working on becoming a little bit of an amateur apothecary. A few of the women in town requested them.”

“I see.”

“It’s something I can do to make up for my lack of magic skills. I’m sure you have experts on hand, but if there is anything I can ever make for you…”

“Thank you, Rain,” he said, pulling her hand to his lips. “But I only need you… And maybe some of your lovely tea.”

She smiled widely. “I’m glad I can help with that at least.” Her smile faltered. “I have a question for _you_ , now.”

“Oh?”

“What was it you wanted to discuss with my mother?”

He looked away, frowning. “It… no longer matters. I do not wish to have that conversation any longer.”

Kat sighed. “That’s what I thought. You were really prepared to dissolve our arrangement without even speaking to me first?” 

“I am a coward, Rain. Please forgive me.”

“Just… never do that again, please. _Please_ discuss these things with me first. Misunderstandings happen.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t want to throw away what we have over something that was so easily cleared up.”

He glanced around and then pulled her to him, holding her tightly. “I promise to always come to you, my Rain.”

“Is that my mother?” Kat asked, hearing a familiar voice nearby.

Dimitri’s arms dropped quickly. “We have been gone a while,” he admitted. “She may have become worried.”

Kat was surprised when they turned the next corner and found Lady Byron holding on to Dedue’s arm. 

“Are you sure I can’t get you a chair?” Dedue asked her.

“I’m fine, I just wasn’t expecting these gardens to be so expansive. It might be another moon before we find them.”

“His Highness is very familiar with the area, I’m sure they will return soon.”

“Mother?” Kat called. “I thought you were going to wait for us inside?”

“There you are! You’ve been gone for nearly an hour,” Lady Byron scolded. 

Kat frowned. “It hasn’t been that long.” Had it?

“It certainly feels like we’ve been wandering these gardens for days.”

Kat rolled her eyes. Her mother was not a small woman and this combined with her allergies made her prone to tire easily. “Thank you for accompanying her, Dedue,” Kat said, turning her focus. 

“I apologize for keeping her so long, Lady Byron,” Dimitri said, bowing to the woman. “I had much to show her and we had much to discuss. As you can imagine, there was not much time for words when we last met.”

Kat smirked. She was sure he was thinking he referred to the rebellion, but his words could also ascribe to what had happened later that night in her bedroom.

Dimitri caught her eye and turned his head to hide the furious blush that spread across his cheeks. 

“Kat,” he said, reaching back for her hand again, “this is actually where I was planning to bring you next.”

Kat turned to look where he was facing, seeing a small building covered in glass panels, most of which were broken. “Is this the greenhouse?” she asked. 

He nodded. “Dedue and I are planning to restore it, but there hasn’t been much time.”

“Can I see the inside?” Kat asked curiously. 

Dimitri hesitated. “It’s not safe,” he warned with a frown. “There’s still a lot of glass to clean up.”

“Then bring me a broom,” she insisted. “Let me help.”

“Kat… please… you don’t have to…”

“Please, Dimitri, I insist.”

He frowned. “You’re very difficult to say no to,” he said in a low voice. 

She grinned. 

“I would take her up on her offer, Your Highness,” Lady Byron said. “It isn’t often that she volunteers to work.”

Kat rolled her eyes. “That isn’t _entirely_ true.”

“Well, if you children are going to work, then I think I will take that chair you offered, Dedue.”

Dedue brought Lady Byron a chair and Kat a broom and they got to work on the greenhouse. 

The building was larger than Kat had surmised from the outside but completely full of clutter and debris. Dimitri relocated large, heavy looking boxes that had been stored inside while Kat and Dedue worked to carefully remove the glass and debris that covered every surface. Leaves and branches had blown in through the broken windows over the years, and they found birds and even some small animals nesting inside. Kat suppressed a shriek whenever spiders spilled from a corner she uncovered. 

“If you can get the glass repaired, this will be a pretty nice greenhouse,” Kat commented after they had worked for a while.

“Unfortunately that is part of the problem,” Dedue said, heading outside. “Apparently His Highness does not have free access to funds. Everything must go through his uncle, who does not approve of such frivolities.”

Lady Byron snorted and Kat and Dedue looked over at her in surprise.

Dimitri returned from wherever he had been storing boxes. “Did I miss something?” he asked.

“My apologies,” Lady Byron said. “I spoke out of line.”

“But you didn’t even say anything?” Kat’s confused statement came out sounding more like a question. “Dedue and I were discussing repairing the glass.”

“Ah, yes…” Dimitri said with a frown. “Unfortunately such an expenditure must be approved by my uncle who I am still trying to convince.” His face clouded over. “It would seem he is more interested in wasting the Kingdom’s money on alcohol and other… expenses.”

Lady Byron’s dark look almost matched Dimitri’s. “I see nothing has changed. That man may never learn.”

Dimitri looked at her surprised. “Did you know my uncle previously?”

“Many years ago. Before either of you were born. He favored my sister.” Her dark look had turned melancholic. 

Kat stared at her mother bewildered. “You have a sister?”

“Had. She passed away before you were born.”

“What happened?” Kat asked curiously.

“She… became ill. She suffered a… a tragedy that left her weakened and had trouble overcoming her illness.”

Kat frowned at these half-truths. Dimitri came to stand next to her and squeezed her hand. She looked up at him, surprised to see the sad look on his face until she remembered that his mother had faced a similar fate. She squeezed his hand back. 

“I know firsthand how little words like these can mean, but please accept my deepest condolences,” Dimitri said. 

“Thank you… You have suffered many of your own tragedies and at such a young age. I hope you will suffer no more.” Lady Byron turned to Dedue. “And you as well, Dedue. I cannot excuse my fellow countrymen, but I hope that in time sentiments can change.”

She stood, peering into the greenhouse. “You have definitely made some improvements,” she said, changing the subject. “You may never see Katerina when she comes to stay here,” she teased Dimitri. “Oh, that reminds me. Wasn't there something you wanted to discuss, Your Highness?" Lady Byron asked.

Kat took a step away from Dimitri and crossed her arms, looking at him with false curiosity. “That’s true.”

"Oh, right... I... Um..." he swallowed hard. "I just wanted to thank you for allowing Kat this unexpected visit. I know how devious she can be." He glanced at her and smiled. "The truth is… I've been having a difficult time lately and being able to see her today has really helped. It has lifted my spirits exponentially."

"Oh, you poor dear," Lady Byron said, suddenly lurching forward and embracing him.

Dimitri froze, unsure of how to react while Kat and Dedue stared wide eyed. Dimitri finally unfroze and patted the older woman's shoulder gently. "Thank you, ma'am."

She pulled back with tears in her eyes. "I wish there was more I could do," she said with a shake of her head. 

"I do appreciate the sentiment," Dimitri told her.

"So you can embrace my fiance but I cannot, mother?" Kat asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Lady Byron continued to shake her head. "That _was_ quite improper of me. I hope you will forgive me, Your Highness."

"Please, think nothing of it. It was quite comforting."

"May I embrace you next, Your Highness?" Kat asked, batting her eyelashes.

Dimitri's eyes widened as he looked from Kat to her mother.

"Katerina, you know you may not!" Her mother scolded. "You know very well that embracing can lead to... other acts. You'll have plenty of time to _embrace_ once you're married."

"Sorry, Your Highness," Kat smirked. "Looks like you're stuck with two more years of handholding."

"Um, yes, well," Dimitri stuttered, his face turning red. "Perhaps we should hold hands inside, I think I see clouds rolling in."

Kat looked up at the clear sky. "Perhaps," she agreed, reaching for his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *mentions a tree house in the center of a hedge maze several chapters ago thinking mwahaha there’s actually a reason for this*
> 
> This chapter probably didn't need to be broken up after all, but I liked the separation so I decided to keep it.
> 
> Dimitri and Kat will be spending an explicit night together in the next chapter. No more fading to black, full smut ahead.


End file.
